Hueco Mundo's skyless night stretched endlessly overhead, the eternal sands cold beneath my massive Gillian feet. But today wasn't for survival, or hunting, or fighting.
No.
Today was for pure, unfiltered, weaponized stupidity.
I let out a thunderous "GUOOOOH!"
(Translation: Aizen! It's idiot o'clock!)
Aizen barked in excitement, his tail swishing through the sand.
I started by gathering a bunch of boulders. Not for throwing. Not for building. I carefully balanced them on my shoulders and head, creating a precarious living statue. My record was six before they fell and crushed my feet.
[SYSTEM: +700 EP (Stupidity Bonus x100 = 70,000 EP)]
[Current EP: 373,560 / 1,000,000]
My bones cracked. My mask chipped. I laughed.
"GUOOOOOH!"
(Translation: New record!)
Next, I found a wandering snake-like Hollow, maybe ten meters long. Without hesitation, I grabbed its tail, tied it in a giant knot around a cactus, and tried to ride it like a swing. It snapped, sending me sailing through the air like a comet. I crashed headfirst into a sand dune, my legs sticking out the top like an upside-down arrow.
[SYSTEM: +690 EP (Stupidity Bonus x100 = 69,000 EP)]
[Current EP: 442,560 / 1,000,000]
Aizen rolled in the sand, howling in laughter.
I dragged myself upright, brushing off sand and stray bones. A genius idea struck me.
I made a snow angel in the sand.
Except… Hueco Mundo's sand is made of ground-up bone and spiritual energy. The result? It exploded in a puff of soul dust the moment I flopped down, burying me in a shallow grave.
[SYSTEM: +700 EP (Stupidity Bonus x100 = 70,000 EP)]
[Current EP: 512,560 / 1,000,000]
I coughed up bone dust, then gave a thumbs-up to the night sky.
"GUOOOOOOH…"
(Translation: Worth it… again.)
Aizen, inspired, attempted his own sand angel. It looked more like a lopsided bone pancake.
Now for the finale.
I stood at the edge of a cliff. Below, a canyon filled with sleeping Gillians and Hollows. I opened my jaws and let out the most ridiculous, ear-splitting, poorly timed roar of my life.
"GUOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!"
(Translation: WAKE UP, LOSERS!)
A wave of angry roars echoed back. The ground shook. A horde of furious Hollows looked up.
[SYSTEM: +700 EP (Stupidity Bonus x100 = 70,000 EP)]
[Current EP: 582,560 / 1,000,000]
Realizing I may have overdone it, I turned and sprinted away, cackling like a lunatic.
"GUOOOOOOOOH!"
(Translation: Aizen! Time to run!!)
The dog Hollow darted after me, both of us leaving a cloud of bone dust and chaos in our wake.
I didn't care. I wasn't about fighting or strategy. I was the idiot Gillian, the legendary fool of Hueco Mundo — and somehow, it was working.
"GUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!"
(Translation: I LOVE BEING STUPID!!)