Hueco Mundo's sky remained eternally dark, but my brain — if you could call it that — was bright with an incredibly stupid idea today.
I was going to dig a massive pitfall trap.
Not for any real reason. Not to catch prey.
Just because it sounded fun.
I turned to my loyal pet Hollow, Aizen — the three-meter-tall dog-like creature with bone armor and glowing eyes. He wagged his tail expectantly.
"GUOOOOOH!"
(Translation: Let's make a trap so big it'll confuse the whole desert!)
Without wasting time, I started shoveling sand with my huge Gillian hands, sending dunes flying. Aizen gleefully helped, kicking sand all over the place, barking like this was the best day of his afterlife.
Soon, we had a pit deep enough to swallow a small Adjuchas whole.
And of course — because I'm me — I decided to test it.
By walking straight into it.
THUD.
I landed flat at the bottom.
"GUOOOOOOH!!"
(Translation: It works perfectly!!)
Aizen peered down at me, barking.
Random Gillians passed by, stared down into the pit, saw me lying there, shook their heads, and kept walking.
Some even muttered guttural roars that probably translated to "That idiot again…"
Then it happened.
A shimmering blue system notification flickered in front of me.
[SYSTEM NOTIFICATION]
Stupidity Bonus Duration: 1 Year — Complete
Bonus EP Earned: 972,285
Total EP: 998,845 / 1,000,000
I blinked.
"GUOOOOOOOOOH?!"
(Translation: A YEAR PASSED?!!)
I scrambled to my feet, hitting my head on a rock ceiling we must've dug by accident.
I stared at the EP count.
998,845 / 1,000,000
So close.
SO. CLOSE.
Aizen barked excitedly and ran in circles.
I threw my arms up.
"GUOOOOOOOH!"
(Translation: Let's trap someone for real this time!)
We spent hours covering the pit's surface with flimsy branches and sand. Problem was… there were no branches in Hueco Mundo.
So I used bones.
Not sturdy bones. Brittle, snapped-off Gillian bones.
It looked terrible. It was obvious.
It was perfect.
And just as a lone Gillian wandered over, I excitedly pointed.
"GUOOOOOOOH!"
(Translation: Hey, idiot! Step right there!)
They stared at me.
Stared at the obvious trap.
And carefully walked around it.
I felt proud anyway.
At least my trap worked… on me.
I jumped into it again just to check.
THUD.
"GUOOOOOH!"
(Translation: Perfect execution!)
[+250 EP]
[CURRENT EP: 999,095 / 1,000,000]
I laid flat at the bottom of my genius pitfall.
Aizen jumped in after me and lay on top of my chest.
We stared at the eternal night.
"GUOOOOOH."
(Translation: I'm a tactical mastermind.)
I didn't even notice a whole year had passed.
And I didn't care.
Current EP: 999,095 / 1,000,000