Being an Adjuchas was many things. Dangerous. Stupid. Exhausting. But of all the curses this form came with, the worst was something I never expected: mating season.
It started when Aizen, my loyal idiot dog Adjuchas, suddenly began acting weird. He circled me, wagging his tail, drooling, and then bit my leg like it was the most natural thing in the world.
"GUOOOOOH!"
(Translation: What's wrong with you, moron?!)
He barked happily and took off running across the white sands of Hueco Mundo. I sighed and followed him, because if I didn't, he might do something even dumber than usual. As if that were possible.
After about an hour of chasing the big fool, he suddenly stopped. His tail wagged so hard it looked like it might fly off. I followed his gaze and saw it — a panther-like Adjuchas with white fur, sharp teal eyes, and a crown-like jagged mask. The guy radiated so much killing intent that even the air felt heavier.
Aizen, being the brainless animal he was, happily sprinted toward the murderous panther like they were long-lost friends. I roared in panic.
"GUOOOOOOOH!"
(Translation: WAIT, NO, BAD IDEA, STOP!)
The panther's glare shifted from Aizen to me. And I knew immediately: I was dead.
Before I could run, a flash of movement. I felt sharp pain as my left arm was ripped off, and a second later, my right leg followed. I tumbled through the sand, rolling like a ragdoll.
"GUOOOOOOH!"
(Translation: AIZEN, HELP ME YOU USELESS DOG!)
Aizen sat nearby, wagging his tail and watching like it was a fun show.
The panther huffed and, apparently bored, walked away, leaving me in a heap. Aizen trotted over cheerfully, licked my face, then sat down like he hadn't just let his owner get turned into a one-armed, one-legged mess.
I checked my system notification with what was left of my limbs.
[You gained 14,750 EP.]
Current EP: 730,450 / 100,000,000
I groaned.
"GUOOOH."
(Translation: You're the worst pet ever…)
Aizen wagged his tail.
I lay there in the sand, covered in pain and shame, while my brainless pet happily stared at the sky, probably thinking about more idiotic things to do tomorrow.
And the absolute worst part? I knew mating season wasn't over yet.