I woke up half-buried in the sand again. Not because of some epic battle — no, I apparently buried myself while pretending to be a potato before falling asleep.
GUOOOOOOH!
(Translation: I AM THE UNDERGROUND KING.)
Aizen was nearby, happily gnawing on a Gillian's femur like it was the finest Hueco Mundo steak. He wagged his tail at me, his big derpy eyes sparkling with approval. Good boy.
[SYSTEM NOTIFICATION]
EP reward limit updated: MAX 15,000 EP per action.
Current EP: 0 / 100,000,000
No more lame 700 EP caps. I could feel my soul bubbling with excitement. Time to cause new levels of chaos.
Test 1: Cero Training
I charged up a Cero and fired at a nearby boulder. The explosion was decent — about three times bigger than my old Cero.
A few passing Gillians clapped with their giant stupid hands.
[You gained 12,450 EP.]
GUOOOOOOH!
(Translation: I AM THE BOULDER DESTROYER.)
Test 2: Aura Field Test
I wandered past a group of Adjuchas who were sparring.
As they got within about 30 meters, nothing happened.
At 25 meters, one started scratching his head.
At 20 meters, the smarter one flinched and looked around, sensing my aura like something was off — like the world was getting just a little dumber.
One of them accidentally kicked a rock thinking it was an enemy.
Another forgot what his own name was for a second.
[You gained 7,200 EP.]
GUOOOOOOH!
(Translation: BEHOLD, MY AURA OF CONFUSION.)
Test 3: Revenge Prank (Attempt)
Time for the big one.
I spotted one of Baraggan's side-kids, sitting on a rock like he owned the place.
I tiptoed over, planning to launch a sand ball at his head.
At 20 meters away, his eyes narrowed.
"That reiatsu… it's that idiot Gillian… no, Adjuchas now. Still an idiot though."
He resisted my aura like a champ — smart guys take less effect, sadly — but even he twitched slightly.
I froze. Caught red-handed. Or red-clawed. Whatever.
Before I could bolt, he started charging at me.
[You gained 14,500 EP.]
I panicked and ran in a zig-zag. Aizen?
He just wagged his tail and happily watched me get chased like it was the best Hueco Mundo sitcom.
The side-kid almost caught me a couple times, but I tripped, rolled, and bounced off a rock like a pro idiot.
No Aizen Cero this time — he just sat there wagging his big dumb tail, clearly proud of my survival instincts.
[You gained 13,800 EP.]
Eventually, I flopped face-first into the sand while the side-kid got distracted by an actual fight nearby.
I pulled my head out of the sand and mumbled the only thing I could:
GUOOOH.
(Translation: WHY DON'T YOU BELIEVE ME?)
Aizen licked my face.
[CURRENT EP: 55,050 / 100,000,000]
And that was another day well spent being a world-class idiot.