I was done, like literally done. I was sweating in places I didn't even know I could sweat. And worst of all? I smell like burnt meat.
Burn said it would only take two days to reach the Thornknight Bramble. That was a lie. A dirty, leaf-faced lie. It had taken us five with detours caused by a rampaging Devitulus, a tomato-like monster plant the size of a cow and a Spikynog, amutant that looked like a pinecone but oversized that tried to drill its way into my kneecaps.
Let me back up.
It started two nights ago when Blaze found a red, juicy-looking fruit dangling from a vine. Of course he did. It was Blaze. He poked it. Then slapped it. Then bite it.
The entire jungle shook.
Next thing I knew, a massive tomato-beastwhom I appraised was called Devitulus with leafy dreadlocks and rolling green eyes erupted from the ground like a salad volcano, roaring in gurgling ketchup bubbles and spraying acidic pulp.
I don't know how fast I ran, but I outran my own scream.
Barry lit up like a disco ball, Burn screamed something about "DO NOT EAT RANDOM FRUIT!" and Blaze, the chaos gremlin he is, actually rode the tomato like a rodeo cat before backflipping it just to show off.
We barely made it out. Only to get ambushed the next day by a mutated pine-cone, Spikynog thing with legs like a spider and needles that exploded like fireworks.
It hissed like an angry oversized squirrel and kept trying to jam itself into my side. Blaze shredded it. Twice. It reassembled.
Barry had to blind it with a solar flare pulse while I ran around holding a plant like a toddler with a panic attack.
But finally…
Finally.
We stood at the foot of the massive black volcano, like a dead volcano that pulsed with eerie, ember-colored veins. The entire place looked like it had been built by a flaming rose bush extinguished with water. Brambles twisted up the cliffs like barbed wire. Some glowed. Some moved. Some hissed.
Burn pointed with one leafy arm.
"That's it. Thornknight Bramble's lair."
I stared.
"You're telling me we came all this way, got chased by evil fruit salsa, nearly pine-stabbed to death, and now we're climbing that?"
Burn nodded solemnly.
"Yes. Somewhere in the heart of that dead volcano where Thornknight resides.
Blaze growled low, staring up like he was already planning where to jump.
Barry hovered closer to my face. He knew I was tired. Thirsty. Sore.
But I still had my water sponge filled with Inferncacti juice. I still had two protein bars left. And I still had three insane plant companions willing to follow me into this disaster garden.
I set my jaw, staring up at the dark vines twisting in the wind.
"All right," I said. "Let's burn this salad mountain down."
Blaze purred. Barry sparkled. Burn grinned like a maniac. We moved forward into the Volcano.
We reached the base of the volcano from Hell, aka Thornknight Bramble' lair when Burn raised one leafy arm and pointed.
"There's actually an easier way inside," he said casually.
I blinked. My brain short-circuited for a moment.
"You're telling me," I began slowly, "that we didn't have to climb that angry pile of viny barbed wire?"
Burn nodded.
"Volcano entrance. About a few meters from here."
I almost collapsed on the spot. An entrance!? Like, with shade? No monster tomato plants? No death pine-cones?
"Then let's go now-" I started, already turning.
Burn raised another leaf.
"Hold up. I said it was easier. Not safer."
My smile crumbled faster than Blaze could ruin a peaceful moment.
"You see," Burn continued, his tone way too calm, "the path to the cave is covered in Fireboomer Plants."
"Fireboomer," I repeated slowly.
"They look like beautiful red cabbages," Burn said. "Glossy. Innocent..."
"Okay…"
"But if you step near one, they burst from the ground and chase you."
"Chase," I echoed. "Like, on legs?"
"They don't have physical legs," Burn said.
"Oh good."
"And they shoot flaming seed bombs," he added.
"Even better."
"About the size of coconuts."
"I hate it here."
Burn looked smug.
"So should we enter the entrance or climb up?"
"Remind me," I said to no one in particular, "why didn't I just die when I crash-landed here."
Blaze huffed beside me, his tails flicking as if he was eager to fight all the cabbage bombs and brittle grass monsters at once.
Burn slapped a leaf on my back like a motivational coach.
"Don't worry. I'll guide us through. I've only seen Fireboomers blow up four people. You'll be fine."
"FOUR?!"
But there was no going back.
We were already moving toward the Dead Patch, skirting the edge of the Fireboomer zone, which looked deceptively like a peaceful, steaming garden of red blossoms. Blaze crouched low, tense, ears twitching. Barry dimmed his glow to avoid drawing attention.
I held my breath.
Because in this cursed garden of reds?
Even the salad wanted you dead.
Burn pointed to the distance.
"We'll cut through the edge of the Fireboomer field, just enough to reach the cave, but stay sharp. If one wakes up, the rest follow."
We tiptoed forward like we were crossing a minefield. That's when I saw one. Round. Plump. Beautiful. Sitting half-buried in dirt. It even had dewdrops glistening on its petals like it belonged on a magazine cover.
I turned to Burn.
"That's one of them?"
Burn nodded.
"Yes. Do not step on it. Don't even breathe too hard near it."
I didn't breathe at all.
Then a dry gust of wind passed through.
One petal fluttered. And the cabbage twitched.
"Oh no."
Its "roots" burst out of the soil, long, gnarled tendrils that bent like knees. The cabbage stood up.
Then it screamed like banshee in the movie I had watched. From the dirt, dozens of Fireboomers exploded upward, root-legs flexing, eyes glowing orange. Then came the flaming seeds, whistling through the air like tiny meteorites.
I screamed.
Blaze leapt into action, slicing one seed bomb midair. It exploded in a fireball, singing his whiskers.
Barry lit up like a supernova, blinding the Fireboomers momentarily.
"RUN!" I yelled.
We sprinted for the cave, seed bombs falling around us like burning hail. A Fireboomer landed beside me, its cabbage face snarling, root legs skittering. I kicked it, screamed, and kept running.
We were ten feet from the cave entrance when Blaze turned, did a spin-slash combo, and sent three Fireboomers flying into the others like bowling pins.
We dove inside the cave as the Fireboomers slammed against the entrance... and bounced off the stone.
Dark. Safe. Breathing hard.
I collapsed, face in the dirt.
Burn gave me a thumbs-up with a leaf.
"That went better than I expected," he said.
"I hate plants," I groaned.
"I am a plant."
"Well, those plants."
We rested a bit, catching our breaths when I saw a flash of red coming toward us. Of course I should've known better.
Blaze's blades had sliced one of those Fireboomers clean in half. I should've cheered. I almost did until my Appraisal window popped up, blinking like a neon sign that read:
[APPRAISAL
Name: FIREBOOMER
Weakness: WATER
Note: Will self-detonate if provoked. Not advised for melee.
Ideal counter: Drench before striking.
Oh.
Oh no.
I did have water. Technically. But it was locked up in the emergency supply for the Thornknight Bramble. If I used that now, I'd be screwed later.
So I did what any sane person would do.
"RUN!"
And we did. Me, Blaze, Barry (bright and panicking), and Burn, the new guy whose entire face was just leaves flapping in terror.
We ran deeper into the mountain. Deeper and hotter.
My lungs burned. My feet ached. My sweat was sweating.
The deeper we went, the more oven-like it became, until it felt like we were jogging through a bakery run by Satan. But then, finally, mercifully, the sounds of screaming cabbage-bombs chasing us started to fade.
I turned my head.
The Fireboomers had stopped.
They stood at the edge of a massive lava-streaked chamber, root-legs twitching nervously… before they turned around and retreated.
That should've been my first clue.
I laughed, half-hysterical. "Guess even exploding salad knows when to quit."
Then I heard it.
A guttural growl, low and ancient and vibrating in my bones.
That's when my floating screen blinked again. Bright red.
ALERT!
YOU HAVE ENTERED A BOSS ZONE
MONSTER DISCOVERED:
THORNKNIGHT BRAMBLE
Element: Fire-Nature
Status: Extremely Hostile
"Oh, come on!"
Nestled between twisted, hardened rivers of black lava was the biggest monster plant I'd ever seen.
No, survived seeing.
Its head was a massive hibiscus flower, pulsing with heat. Two pollen-coated antennae twitched like eyes, tracking us. Its viney body was covered in something that looked like scales, lava-black, but glossy and flexible. Thick red leaves carpeted the floor around it, hiding its roots like some twisted welcome mat.
And worse?
It had two thin vines tipped with needle-sharp points, swaying lazily in the hot air like they were bored.
Barry dimmed his glow instinctively.
Burn whispered, "That's it. That's Thornknight Bramble."
"Great," I wheezed. "So, how do we kill it?"
Burn looked at me and shrugged.
"It's core. Weakened the core, extinguished it."
Well, guess what I barely had enough of?
I pulled out the sponge pod I'd filled with precious inferncacti water. My hands shook. Not from fear, okay, a bit from fear but mostly because that was my emergency stash. I'd been saving it for when my tongue turned to ash.
Now I had to use it on a monster flower the size of a truck.
Blaze crouched low, tails thrashing, ready to strike.
Burn gently tapped my arm. "I'll aim for the roots. You splash the water when it opens."
Barry lit up a little, as if to say, I'm here too!
We stepped into the open.
Thornknight Bramble raised its flower head slowly… then screeched like a boiling kettle made of rage and sap.
The boss fight had begun.