We'd been walking for what felt like days through spore hell. My shoes, if you could call them that anymore, were basically mossy slippers soaked in sweat and I don't even want to think about the test.
Blaze's leafy limbs dragged. Burn stopped arguing with everyone. Even Barry had started humming to himself like he was trying to disassociate.
That's when we saw it, a clearing. But not just any clearing. A green clearing. The moment we stepped into it, the fungal fog behind us vanished, like, poof. No more choking spore clouds. No more mushroom screeches. The air was clear, almost fresh, and the ground was soft, vibrant grass, not a single corpse-colored lichen in sight.
Trees stood tall with healthy bark. Sunlight filtered through the leaves in sparkly, suspiciously filtered beams. Even the birds were chirping. Wait. There were birds?
"Where did these come from?" Burn whispered, staring at a very judgmental robin.
"Am I hallucinating?" I asked, sniffing a flower. And then I realized even plants can mimic animals in this world.
Barry was already rolling around in the grass. I was frozen at the edge of the clearing. My brain screamed trap, but my feet said 'just five minutes, bro. Please. I beg you.'
Still… Too green. Too safe. Too… welcoming.
I looked around for signs, glowing spores, hidden fangs, ambush vines but nothing popped out. No "RAWR, GOTCHA" moment. Just peace.
I stepped forward. Nothing exploded.
Blaze tentatively laid down under a tree. Burn sighed and flopped next to him. Barry was humming again, his gooey body forming a puddle in the shape of a smiley face. I finally sat on a mossy rock and let out a breath I felt like I'd been holding since the last continent. And for a few blissful minutes, we just… existed.
No screaming. No boss music. No Shiv jumping out of thin air with a sarcastic clap, just green grass and a warm breeze.
"Okay," I muttered. "This is either the best thing that's ever happened to us… or we're all in a plant coma being digested slowly."
Burn sat up. "Wait. What?"
"Nothing."
I closed my eyes, just for a second.
Maybe this was one of those real safe zones Shiv mentioned. A resting point. A mercy checkpoint before we had to face whatever nightmare was called Blightcap Mycospore. Maybe… just maybe… this wasn't a lie. Then something giggled.
I froze.Burn sat up. Barry oozed behind a rock. Blaze slowly turned toward the patch of grass that had just… giggled again.
I leaned down and gently poked the ground. It didn't made a sound
I looked a bit far and saw it. I blinked hard.
There, standing like a proud little miracle in the middle of this suspiciously serene clearing… was a banana tree and it was giggling. A real one, the same as we had back on Earth. It was not a monster, not even glowing. No sprouting legs or chanting in Fungal Latin.
Just. A. Freaking. Banana tree.
With ripe, yellow bananas.
"I'm hallucinating," I muttered.
"You're not," Burn said, still side-eyeing the giggling grass. "I see it too."
Blaze slowly sat up wiggling his vinny razor tail. Barry, now shaped like a question mark, jiggled twice.
I walked up to it. One banana dangled just right, yellow with faint brown freckles, the kind of banana that says, Eat me now or never. My stomach practically sang a love song.
But this was too good, way too good.
"Okay," I whispered, raising my hand like I was about to defuse a bomb. "I swear, if this banana has teeth, I'm done."
"Time to Appraise."
[Object: Bonanna Fruit]
Status: Edible. Sweet. Energizing. Not cursed. Not parasitic. Not a mimic. 100% edible. Chill, bro.
I blinked. Did… did the system just tell me to chill?
"Alright. Fine. Let's risk death for a banana," I muttered.
I grabbed one. Peeled it slowly. Bit in.
And holy crap, it was good. Sweet. Soft. Like the best banana I'd ever eaten, if that banana had gone to culinary school and came back with a degree in 'You Deserve Nice Things.'
Burn rolled onto his side and grabbed one too.
"I'm gonna cry. I forgot what flavor was like. I'm naming my firstborn Bonanna."
Blaze silently snatched one and started chewing with aggressive purpose.
I sat there, halfway through my fruit, staring at the clear sky above the trees.
This place was weird. Too quiet. Too peaceful. And yet…
I couldn't shake the feeling. Like someone was watching me from far, far away.
I stared at the bonnana, somehow it actually sounded like a bananaand just, blessed, normal, banana. And for a minute, I forgot we were in a death forest full of brain-eating mushrooms and lava-spitting brambles. Then the tree behind me coughed. I slowly turned.
Another banana tree had grown behind it.
Then another. And another. Until five trees surrounded us. Then ten. The grass is giggling now. And somewhere deep in the ground…
"Uhhh…" I held the half-eaten banana like it was a cursed relic now. "Guys? I think we need to leave. Like, yesterday."
Too late. The bananas started clapping
I was halfway through Bonanna number five, yes, five, don't judge me, when the ground in front of me suddenly plorped.
Yes. That's the word. Plorped.
A green blur shot up from the moss like a spring-loaded salad, landing with a dramatic squat just a few feet away from me and the crew.
"GAAAAHH!" I yelped and nearly inhaled my Bonanna. Blaze leapt up, ready to tackle it. Burn froze mid-bite. Barry? He tried to dig himself into me.
The creature blinked. It looked like someone had mashed a succulent plant with a very judgmental frog-plant. It had stubby little bark arms made of green stem segments, a plump leafy belly, and big bulging eyes the color of green.
"You dare LITTER in my glade!?" it barked in a high-pitched, outrage-filled voice.
"W-what?" I blinked. "Litter?"
It jabbed one stubby cactus arm toward the pile of Bonanna peels.
"Look at this organic disrespect! Compost goes in the compost hole! Not on the floor! Do you know how long it takes moss to recover from potassium overload?!"
"…What?"
"I'm the Caretender! Guardian of Verdant Order! Compost Commander!" it puffed up with every title like it expected applause. "And you, banana goblin, have disrespected the laws of cleanliness!"
"Excuse me," I said, finally standing, "first of all, it's Bonanna, not banana. And second, I didn't see a compost bin anywhere!"
"No bin? You think nature just slaps a plastic container next to every snack tree?!"
Burn raised a finger. "Okay but technically-"
"Silence, Fireweed!" the frog-plant barked.
Burn looked genuinely offended.
"Did he just call me a weed!?"
Caretender paced (or hopped?) back and forth, ranting.
"The nerve! Just because it's a Safe Zone doesn't mean it's a Mess Zone! You're lucky the Blightcap Mycospore hasn't sent a spore scout in here, or you'd all be fungus puppets by now!"
My eyes twitched. "Wait… what do you mean by 'spore scout?' Are they smart now!?"
Caretender froze.
"…Oops."
Burn stared at him.
"Oops what?" I asked, my Bonanna digesting a lot faster now.
"There might be a scout hiding out at the border of the zone. Watching. Waiting." He scratched his head-leaf. "Y'know. Just vibin'."
My stomach dropped.
"Why are you telling us this now?!"
"You made a mess! I got distracted!" He huffed. "But no worries! You can make up for it by cleaning this sacred glade and doing me one little favor."
I already regretted asking, but I did it anyway.
"What favor?"
Caretender's eyes sparkled. His leaf-hands spread wide.
"You're going to defeat the Blightcap Mycospore... and deliver my compostable pamphlets to the other forest spirits. It's educational!"
I stared at him.
"You want me to fight a brain-controlling mushroom and play mailman?"
"And don't crumple the leaflets. They're biodegradable, but they scream when folded."
Burn whispered, "I think we're in the part of the forest where the plants are weirder than the monsters."
I groaned and reached for another Bonanna. Caretender slapped it out of my hand.
"No snacking until you recycle, hero!"
"Yeah? Why don't you come with us? Lead us to the psycho mushroom."
"Hah?"