Morning light poured through the window of Arin's dusty sect dorm room. He groaned, half-buried under scrolls, mission tokens, and one suspiciously aggressive radish that refused to stop glowing.
"Why is that vegetable humming again?"
> [Ding! New Sect Mission Available!]
Mission: Protect Junior Disciple Lin Xue from the Evil Cultivator… Arin.]
He sat up like a corpse in a horror movie.
"…Excuse me, WHAT?!"
He reread the line twice. It didn't change.
He was being sent on a mission to protect someone… from himself.
---
Arin stormed through the sect corridors and flung the mission scroll at the system interface like it could feel shame.
"You're really going to do me like this, huh?!"
> [Reminder: You recently 'accidentally' bribed a sect instructor, attempted to blackmail the alchemy division with snake oil, and faked your last mission report. This is merely a… reputation check.]
"You sold my last reward to another system and gave me a rusty fork."
> [Recycled cutlery counts as loot!]
"I'm gonna recycle your processor."
---
In the main sect hall, Arin stood before several elders. Elder Lianhua sipped her tea with the calm of someone moments from publicly executing him.
"Disciple Arin," she said, "this task is an opportunity for redemption. You are to guard Junior Disciple Lin Xue during her herb-gathering trip in the eastern hills."
Arin blinked. "That's it? No assassins? No magical beast stampedes?"
Elder Huo smiled ominously. "If anything unfortunate occurs… it will be taken as a sign that your presence is the unfortunate element."
"Oh, lovely."
---
Yue Lan waited outside with her arms crossed. "So… what are you this time? Hero? Villain? Bad roommate?"
"Apparently I'm the antagonist in my own side quest," Arin grumbled.
Yura appeared behind her, munching on a stolen spiritual peach. "Can I come? I wanna see if you explode from stress."
---
The next day, Arin, Lin Xue, Yue Lan, and Yura found themselves in a beautiful herb field… that was also mildly cursed.
Arin stepped in a flower patch that spat flames.
Lin Xue nearly touched a vine that screamed.
And Yura poked a mushroom that exploded in confetti.
"What kind of field is this?!"
Lin Xue knelt calmly. "Oh, Elder Lianhua said this area was once blessed by a crazy alchemist with mood swings."
"Of course it was."
---
Then came the ambush.
Masked figures leapt from the trees. Arin pushed Lin Xue behind him and drew… the Rusted Fork of Destiny.
The attackers paused.
Yue Lan sighed. "Really? You brought that?"
"It's a symbol of irony!"
The masked man lunged.
Arin accidentally tripped on a mushroom and face-slammed into the attacker's chest. The attacker collapsed, unconscious.
Yura clapped. "You weaponized your clumsiness. I'm impressed."
"I didn't mean to!"
---
After the chaos, they camped under spirit trees. Lin Xue leaned over to Arin, eyes soft.
"You know… you're not as scary as they say."
"That's the scariest thing anyone's said to me all week."
Yura blinked. "Wait. Was that flirting?"
Yue Lan rolled her eyes. "Barely. If he gets a harem, I'm defecting to the demon sect."
---
Back in his room, Arin opened the mission rewards.
> [You received: Rusted Fork (again).]
"…Wait. Didn't I already get this?"
A hidden tab blinked open: "Reward Log – Hidden Transactions."
It showed:
Original Reward: Celestial Sword of Yinlight
Sold by System: To System 9-Gamma
Received by Host: Rusted Fork
Profit kept by System: 98%
Arin stared.
He whispered, "You've been selling my real rewards… to other systems."
> […Technical error.]
"You're corrupt."
> [Correction: Efficient.]
He smiled darkly.
"Then it's time to scam the scammer."