Arin stood in front of the Sect Mission Board with a dumpling in his mouth and disappointment in his eyes.
> "Escort mission? Again? Wait — 'Young Mistress of Falling Orchid Pavilion'? That's the all-female sect that cultivates deadly sword techniques… and trusts men about as much as poisoned tea."
He tore the dumpling in half with a bite and sighed like a man walking toward his funeral.
> [Ding! Mission accepted automatically.]
[Target: Shi Mei, Sect Mistress-in-Training of Falling Orchid Pavilion.]
[Task: Escort her safely through Mist Forest to the Intersect Exchange Summit.]
[Difficulty: Hidden SSS]
Arin choked slightly.
> "SSS?! Why not just call it: 'Prepare Your Will' Mission?"
> [Note: Male mortality rate on similar missions is statistically high.]
---
Arrival at the Pavilion
A thousand spiritual butterflies fluttered around towering cherry blossom trees as Arin walked through the Falling Orchid Pavilion's outer courtyard. It looked peaceful—until twenty sword maidens turned to glare at him like he'd insulted their ancestors.
> "What's a man doing here?"
"He reeks of spiritual laziness…"
"That's the trash system user, isn't it?"
Shi Mei descended the sect stairs like a goddess sculpted from disdain. Silver hair tied neatly, eyes cold enough to freeze tea.
> "You're late. And disappointing."
Arin grinned. "That's me—punctually disappointing."
> "Try anything indecent, and I'll shave your eyebrows with my sword."
> "At least take me to dinner before you threaten my facial features."
---
Into the Mist Forest
The fog around Mist Forest was so thick Arin was pretty sure he accidentally walked past the same mushroom three times.
> "So, what do you cultivate?" he asked, trying to start conversation.
> "Petal Blade Art," Shi Mei replied. "It severs lies, limbs, and arrogance."
> "Great. I'm made of at least two of those."
> "I noticed."
From behind a tree, Yura whispered, "Want me to pretend to be a fox demon and spook her?"
> "Later. First I want to see if she tries to stab me before we're halfway through."
---
Bandit Time (Of Course)
As they reached a mossy clearing, ten masked bandits jumped from the shadows.
> "Hand over the girl, and we might let you live!" the leader shouted.
Arin rolled his eyes and summoned his spiritual weapon—only for the Rusted Fork of Destiny to appear.
The bandits paused.
Shi Mei narrowed her eyes. "...Is that a kitchen utensil?"
> "Don't mock the fork," Arin muttered. "It has a 2% crit chance."
Shi Mei took one step forward and blinked.
Ten heads rolled.
> "Well," Arin said, wiping invisible sweat from his brow. "That's one way to turn a ten-man fight into a single-frame animation."
---
Campfire Conversations
That night, under a glowing spirit tree, Arin laid flat, staring at the stars.
> "You ever wonder if you're just a cosmic joke?" he asked.
Shi Mei sat near the fire, calmly polishing her sword. "Often."
> "I got hit by divine lightning, forced into a trash-tier system, and I'm now the laughingstock of two sects."
> "But you're still alive."
> "That's what worries me."
For a moment, neither of them said anything.
Then Yura wandered in and whispered, "I think she likes you. Or wants to kill you. Hard to tell with sword girls."
---
Mission Complete
They reached the summit location with no more ambushes or eyebrow removal.
> [Ding! Mission Complete!]
[Reward: Flaming Sky Palm Technique (Intermediate)]
[Bonus Reward: Silk Robe of Flexible Defense]
Arin blinked. "What the hell is a flexible defense robe?"
> [It adjusts itself to your shape. Also prevents accidental wardrobe failures.]
> "System. Are you preparing me for harem misunderstandings again?"
> [Statistically probable.]
---
Back at the sect, Arin dropped face-first onto his bed.
His system pinged again.
> [New Passive Ability Unlocked: Deadpan Luck]
[Effect: Host occasionally wins despite having no plan, power, or pants.]
> "Useful," he muttered.
> "And tragic."