Also known as: A Lecture That Broke Three Sects
It didn't take long for the news to spread:
"Wei Long Academy has opened!""The Sage Who Teaches Through Accidents Accepts Disciples!""Entrance requires being hit by a falling fruit and understanding its meaning."
Within a week, over a hundred hopefuls stood at the base of the mountain.
Some brought offerings.Some brought essays.One brought a goat, hoping for "extra credit."
Wei Long tried to escape five times.
Each time, Lin Qian redirected him with a bun and an aggressively worded scroll titled:
"How To Lead Without Knowing Anything: The Wei Long Method."
But not everyone was pleased.
Far away, in the prosperous city of Yunqu, stood the polished walls of the Thousand Virtues Institute — the most prestigious, most pompous, most painfully boring academy in the empire.
There, Headmaster Zhu Wu nearly choked on his ginseng when he read the latest headline:
"Village Idiot Becomes Master Sage! Enlightenment Taught Through Naps!"
Zhu Wu's hand trembled.
"He teaches… by not teaching? His disciples meditate by chasing livestock?"
His assistant nodded fearfully. "Yes, Headmaster. And the goat… it is now a cultural symbol."
Zhu Wu stood. "This is blasphemy. No discipline. No structure. No tuition fees!"
He slammed his fan on the table.
"I challenge him."
Back on Mount Chaos, Wei Long was successfully hiding inside a large clay pot and pretending to be fermenting cabbage when a messenger arrived.
Lin Qian read the letter aloud:
"From the Esteemed Headmaster Zhu Wu:I challenge you to a duel of knowledge.One lecture. One crowd. One winner.The loser shall close their academy forever."
Wei Long peeked from the pot."Can I… forfeit quietly?"
"No," said Lin Qian. "It's scheduled for next week in Yunqu Plaza. Thousands are expected."
Wei Long sank back into the pot. "I hate cabbage."
The day of the duel arrived.
Wei Long sat cross-legged on a stone platform in the middle of Yunqu Plaza. Next to him stood Zhu Wu, robed in silks, surrounded by fan-waving assistants.
Scholars, nobles, monks, even wandering cultivators had gathered. The crowd buzzed.
Zhu Wu stepped forward and spoke in crisp tones:
"Today, I will reveal the ancient secrets of spiritual architecture, qi alignment, and the ten golden rules of moral restraint."
He pulled out six scrolls, a glowing diagram, and a crystal pointer.
Three people fell asleep before he finished his opening breath.
Wei Long was next.
He stood slowly. Looked at the massive audience.
Cleared his throat.
And sneezed.
The microphone formation crystal nearby cracked.
Half the crowd gasped.
A wandering poet stood up. "He breaks the silence with thunder. A sneeze… to shatter ignorance!"
Someone shouted, "He speaks the language of nature!"
Zhu Wu's mouth dropped open. "Wait! He didn't even say anything!"
Wei Long wiped his nose. "Sorry, I'm allergic to nonsense."
The crowd erupted.
A farmer burst into tears."I finally understand… my cabbages."
A monk whispered, "I have studied for 40 years, but I have never heard wisdom so distilled."
Zhu Wu turned purple.
"You—you cheated!"
Wei Long shrugged. "You challenged me. I just… exist."
By sunset, Zhu Wu's scrolls had been donated to a recycling stall.
The Thousand Virtues Institute closed its doors for "emergency restructuring."
Wei Long returned home with a sack of steamed buns and a fruit basket labeled "To the Enlightened One Who Sneezes Wisdom."
He sighed.
"I didn't even want to go."
Lin Qian handed him tea. "And yet, Master… you won."
"…I miss when people thought I was dumb."
She smiled. "Now they think you're dangerously wise."
He groaned. The wind carried whispers across the land.
"He teaches without teaching…""He defeats without fighting…""He sneezes, and truth is revealed!"
To be continued…