The weekend stretched on like a wound that wouldn't close .
I stayed mostly in bed, staring at my phone more than I ever admitted to myself. One message—just one—that's all I needed from her. Something to undo the silence. But nothing came.
Not"hey" Not a "sorry." Not even a mistake text I could overanalyze.
I texted Nova once. Nomi too. Just a simple "I'm fine, just tired." It was a lie so rehearsed it tasted like water in my mouth. No flavor. No weight.
But I held on. To the memory. To the hope. To the kiss that still bloomed in my chest like something sacred—because even soshan had gone quiet, I couldn't shake the way she made me feel.
Monday came like a sigh I didn't want to breathe.
I didn't have the energy to care about how I looked, but my body moved on instinct. I pulled on an oversized Grey sweatshirt—soft and heavy like the weight behind my ribs—and tucked it into high—waisted black cargo pants. Underneath, a simple white crop top peeked out, like something waiting to be noticed but half hidden, just like me.
My hair was a little messy, the kind of messy that looked too intentional to be accidental. Put on silver hoops without thinking, then black sneakers with a splash of red—just enough color to confuse anyone trying to guess how I felt.
The outfit was lazy. Effortless. But when I stepped onto campus, people starred like I'd planned it Like the muted palette made me mysterious. Like the slight—off shoulder of the sweatshirt was confidence not exhaustion. Like heartbreak somehow looked pretty when dressed in grayscale.
Nova caught up with me halfway to the quad. "You look so good today. Like…chic sad girl."
I laughed softly, my voice brittle "Thank. It's a vibe."
She didn't question it.
She didn't know that I'd picked grey because I felt grey. That the splash of red on my shoes was the only thing that felt alive in me. That the baggy clothes weren't comfort—they were amor.
And as I walked into the building head low but lips curled in a faint, practiced smile, I wondered if soshan would notice me today. If she'd even look my way.
Class was the last place I wanted to be. But it was easier than being alone with my thoughts again.
When I stepped into the room, nomi was already there, leaning back in her chair like she owned the air around her. Nova sat beside her, doodling on the corner of her notes.
Nomi eyes swept over me the second I was about to sit beside nova. "okay, fashion queen," she whispered, just loud enough for me to hear as I slid into the seat beside them. "who said sad couldn't be stunning?"
I managed a smile "didn't put much thought into it."
"That what makes it unfair," Nova added nudging me with a small grin. "you showed up in Grey and black, and still looked like you belong on the cover of some moody magazine."
I gave a small laugh, almost convincing.
But as I looked away, Nomi leaned towards Nova and muttered, "I think whoever put that glow on Reuelle…might've dimmed it."
Nova didn't say anything. Just tilted her head slightly, the way she does when she's trying to read me without asking questions.
The class dragged on. I heard words, but they didn't stick. I underlined things in my notebook, but couldn't remember a single thing I wrote. Every now and then, I caught Nova glancing at me. Nomi too. Their silence felt louder than anything the lecturer said.
When class finally ended we had barely stepped out of the building before Nomi stopped walking and crossed her arms, pinning me with a look that saw too much.
"okay," she said firmly. "its time to come clean."
Nova stood beside her, quieter but equally expectant. "you have been off today. You're trying to mask it, but we see it, Rue. What happened?"
I tried to laugh, but it came out hollow. "I'm fine," I said automatically.
Nomi raised a brow. " lie."
I looked down wishing the concrete would swallow me whole. "it's nothing, seriously."
Nova took a gentle step closer. " Reuelle…you don't go from glowing to ghosting without something –or someone—messing with your head."
The pressure of their care cracked something in me.
I shook my head, trying to breathe, but the tears came before I could stop them. One blink and my vision blurred. Another, and my throat tightened, and I couldn't speak.
"shit," Nomi whispered. "Rue…"
I sat down on the low stone edge near the steps, burying my face in my hands, and the tears fell hard and fast—days of holding it in now flooding out. Nova crouched beside me, a hand gently resting on my knee, while Nomi stood silently, awkward in her concern.
"I didn't mean to get attached," I finally whispered, voice shaky. "I really didn't. But it felt real. Like…it mattered. And I thought I mattered back."
They didn't say anything. I could feel their surprise, their curiosity. But they stayed quiet I could feel their curiosity. But they stayed quiet, letting me talk.
"And then," I swallowed, "just silence. Like I never existed. Like none of it meant anything. Not even a goodbye."
I wiped my face roughly, frustrated at myself for falling apart in the open.
Nova leaned in. "Do you want to tell us who?"
I hesitated. The name caught in my throat like glass. The truth even sharper.
"No," I said quietly. "Not yet. I can't. I don't want to make it make it more complicated than it already is."
They exchanged a glance but didn't push.
"Okay, "Nomi said, her voice softer than I'd expected. "But…whoever it is, they're stupid for leaving you like that. You deserve so much better."
Nova nodded. "You really do."
I smiled with tears still in my eyes and thanked them. I wanted to believe them. I really did.
But all I could think about was the way Soshan had looked at me the last time—like I was a stranger she regretted meeting.