The sun had finally begun to soften, casting its golden warmth across the sidewalk in long shadows, and I felt it on my skin like a quiet balm. The air was crisp, cool in that way late afternoons in the city tend to be when summer's stretching its arms into fall. I crossed the campus courtyard, my bag hanging off one shoulder, sneakers scuffing slightly against the concrete. I was heading to the café near the science wing — Koah's favorite haunt
I hadn't seen him in weeks. He'd gotten busy with labs, and I had… well, I had been busy unraveling my entire emotional existence.
When I walked in, the smell of espresso and cinnamon wrapped around me, and there he was — Koah, hunched slightly over a physics textbook, eyes narrowed in concentration. His dreadlocks were longer than I remembered, pulled up into a half-bun, and he was wearing that forest-green hoodie he always claimed was "good-luck for test weeks." He hadn't changed.
I waved. He looked up.
His whole face lit up. "Ruelle!" He stood, arms already opening wide.
I walked into the hug and felt, for the first time in days, something like home.
"You've been hiding," he said with mock accusation as we sat down, and I laughed, shrugging out of my jacket.
"And you've been living in that lab like a vampire," I shot back.
We ordered — I got a chai latte with oat milk, and he got some terrifying black coffee concoction he swore helped him "transcend." Typical Koah.
"So," I asked, stirring my drink, "what's up with you?
"any new crushes? Or are you still emotionally unavailable and married to your microscope?"
He rolled his eyes. "Very funny."
But something flickered in his expression, something shy and evasive.
I leaned in. "Koah…"
He groaned, but a grin tugged at the corner of his mouth. "Okay, okay. There's someone. But don't laugh."
"Why would I laugh? I'm your favorite confidante."
He rubbed the back of his neck, eyes flicking to the window. "It's Nova."
I blinked. "Nova?"
He nodded sheepishly. "I know, I know. We've never talked. Not properly. Only seen her when she's with you. But—there's something about her. That laugh, her eyes, the way she carries herself like she's already seen the ending and still shows up anyway."
I stared at him, impressed.
"That was weirdly poetic," I said.
He gave a lopsided grin. "Yeah, well. I follow her on Instagram. I may or may not have… found her through a tag on your story."
I narrowed my eyes. "So you stalked her?"
"Not stalked," he said defensively. "Just… admired."
I burst out laughing. "Okay, Koah. You're actually smitten."
He groaned, dragging his hands down his face. "I know. And I haven't even said hi. It's pathetic."
"It's not pathetic. It's kind of sweet. But you know Nova doesn't really talk to strangers unless I'm there."
"Exactly," he muttered. "Which is why I haven't. Still. I can't stop thinking about her."
I smiled at him. I liked this version of Koah — vulnerable, open. He was always composed, always that guy who people assumed had everything together. But this… this little crush had knocked some bricks loose.
"Well," I said, pulling out my phone, "I'm not saying I'll give you her number, but…"
His eyes lit up. "You'll give me her number."
I rolled my eyes, laughing. "Fine. But if you say anything weird, I'm blocking you from both our lives."
"Understood," he said solemnly, typing as I recited her digits. "I'll behave."
Koah was one of the very few people I felt I could be completely unfiltered around. He had that kind of heart — unshakable, slow to judge. We talked about everything once — our childhoods, our dreams, our fears. And right now, watching him fumble over a girl while sipping burning black coffee, I knew… if anyone could know the truth, it would be him.
"You look different," he said suddenly, scanning me with his soft, observant gaze. "Not in a bad way… just softer, maybe. Or like something's been going on."
I hesitated.
He leaned forward. "Tell me."
I sipped my latte instead. My fingers tightened around the cup.
He caught the silence. "Rue. Whatever it is, you can tell me. Come on, I just admitted I'm crushing on your best friend."
That made me smile.
Still, I looked at my hands. "It's… complicated."
Koah tilted his head. "Is it dangerous complicated? Or heart-aching complicated?"
I met his eyes. "The second one."
He sat back, nodded once. "I'm listening."
I drew a deep breath. My voice wavered when I began. "There's… someone. And it's not like anything I've ever felt before. It's kind of terrifying, actually."
He stayed quiet.
"And she's… she's this person who just—" I struggled. "Who looks at me like I'm worth understanding. Who kissed me like she meant it and then—nothing. No texts. No explanations. She sat in class and acted like I didn't exist."
Koah blinked, his face still neutral. "She?"
My heart stuttered. I held my breath.
Then he smiled softly. "Okay. Go on."
I blinked. "You're not… weirded out?"
He scoffed. "Rue, please. You could've told me you kissed a ghost and I'd still be here asking follow-up questions."
I laughed — a real one, full from the chest. "You're ridiculous."
"But also serious," he added gently. "Thank you for trusting me."
I nodded. "You're the first person I've told. I haven't even said her name to anyone."
"You don't have to," he said, sipping his coffee. "Unless you want to."
I leaned back, letting the name swirl in my chest, unspoken but alive.
"Soshan," I said eventually. And it felt like setting something free.
Koah's expression didn't change — no shock, no judgment. "That name suits someone who could make you look this soft."
"I don't even know what we are," I whispered. "If we are anything. I just… I can't stop thinking about her."
"And maybe she can't stop thinking about you," he offered.
I shrugged. "Doesn't feel like it."
He reached over, hand warm on mine. "You're brave for feeling it anyway."
And in that moment, in the corner of a busy café, I felt more seen than I had in weeks.
We talked for hours after that. About school. About Nova's love for oat milk and random facts. About music and futures and what it means to choose yourself, even when it's hard.
As we said goodbye under the fading sunset, Koah pulled me into another hug.
"Don't shrink for anyone," he whispered.
And I walked away lighter, thinking maybe—just maybe—I wouldn't.