The next day — or maybe the next hour. Or next year?
Who cares. Time doesn't exist in Hueco Mundo anyway.
I was once again wandering the endless, white desert, my massive Gillian feet leaving deep craters in the sand with each step. My EP meter was inching forward, but a million points? That number still felt like an impossible joke.
Current EP: 18,740 / 1,000,000
I needed something big. Something dumb. Something so outrageously stupid it might just net me a fat EP payout.
And that's when I saw it.
A dune.
Not just any dune — the biggest damn sand dune I'd ever seen in my endless, confusing Gillian life.
It stretched high into the endless dark sky like a giant white wave, daring me.
I felt my nonexistent lips curve into a grin beneath the bone mask.
"Grrrrrh."
(Translation: "Perfect.")
New Stupid Idea Unlocked: The Sand Slide of Death.
Without hesitation, I climbed the side of the dune. It took a while — Gillians aren't exactly known for their speed or grace, and I slipped three times, flattening a few unfortunate tiny Hollows along the way. Not that I noticed.
At the top, I took a deep, dramatic breath for no reason, since I didn't have lungs.
Then I launched myself forward.
A six-story Gillian surfing down a sand dune on his stomach.
The sand erupted around me like an avalanche, my heavy body carving a deep, fast-moving trench through the desert. Hollows scattered, some screaming, some staring, some just too dumbfounded to react.
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Performed 'Sand Slide of Death' — +650 EP]
Current EP: 19,390 / 1,000,000
Yes! Another big one!
I was grinning like a maniac now, sand flying into my mask holes as I slid faster and faster. The desert was a blur.
And then — naturally — a huge boulder popped up right in my path.
I didn't steer.
Didn't stop.
Didn't think.
Full speed ahead.
"GGRRROOOOHHHH!!!"
(Translation: "WORTH IT!")
I slammed into the boulder, causing an explosion of sand, rocks, and one very confused Gillian.
I tumbled end over end, landing in a twisted heap of limbs and sand several meters away.
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Performed 'Headfirst Boulder Smash' — +620 EP]
Current EP: 20,010 / 1,000,000
I lay there, head buried halfway into the sand, limbs twitching.
Off in the distance, I heard muffled voices.
It was them again.
Those five Adjuchas.
I peeked up from the sand, my mask half-buried like a stupidly large ostrich.
They stood there, silent as always, watching me with a mix of disbelief, curiosity, and mild horror. One of them whispered something to the leader again, probably debating if I was cursed.
I gave them a half-hearted wave.
"Grroh."
(Translation: "Sup.")
One of them visibly facepalmed.
I chuckled to myself.
"They'll see… one day this idiot's gonna be a Vasto Lorde."
Not because of power, hunger, or genius.
But because of sheer, unstoppable stupidity.
And the best part?
I'd probably trip and fall into that evolution by accident too.