"GUOOOOOOOHH!!"
(Translation: Yo losers, race me!)
Bored as usual in this eternal desert, I somehow convinced three other Gillians — big, lumbering idiots like me — to join a race across the dunes.
None of us knew where we were racing to.
There were no roads, no finish lines, no rules.
Just massive Gillian stomping across sand like overgrown skeleton trees.
"GURUUUUH!"
(Translation: First to that big rock wins!)
I pointed to a random boulder in the distance.
We lined up.
One of us — let's call him Masky — did the countdown.
"GUOOOH, GUOOOH, GUOOOOOH!!"
(Translation: Three, two, one — GO!)
And we were off.
Massive feet slamming against the ground.
Sand flying everywhere.
Stupid guttural roars echoing.
I was in the lead!
For about five seconds.
Then one of the Gillians tripped and faceplanted, sending a cloud of dust into the others.
I stumbled, Aizen the Doggo barked and chased after a lizard Hollow.
Then—
BOOOOOM!!
A Cero blast exploded in front of us.
Out of nowhere, six Adjuchas appeared.
Faster. Smarter. Way deadlier.
They landed in front of us, masks gleaming in the dim Hueco Mundo sky.
"GURAAAAH?!"
(Translation: Who invited these guys?!)
One of the Adjuchas sneered.
"Tch. Bunch of dumb Gillians wasting space."
Before we could react, two Gillians got their heads blown clean off.
One ran off screaming.
I stood frozen.
Aizen barked at them.
They looked at me.
"Isn't that the idiot Gillian who dances in front of Baraggan's castle?"
"Yup. Leave him. He's too stupid to bother with."
"He might jinx us."
And just like that, they vanished back into the dunes, leaving me standing there alone, covered in sand.
[SYSTEM NOTICE: +600 EP for 'Survive Gillian Race Massacre by Being a Famous Idiot']
"GUOOOOH…."
(Translation: Guess I win by default?)
Aizen licked my bony foot.
[CURRENT EP: 23,860 / 1,000,000]
Another glorious, dumb day in Hueco Mundo.