The sun was shinning high over Titans Tower. Clouds in the distance showed chance of a storm but Raven and Starfire were on the roof trying to figure out Raven's new idea to control her powers. Starfire was still unsure how she could even help but for one of her best friends she was willing to give it her best shot.
They both hovered above the roof with their legs crossed beneath them. They faced each other a little less than 6 feet away.
"How do you wish to proceed?" Starfire asked.
"Well... How do you do it?" Raven replied, "what do you do when you feel your emotions as you're using your powers?"
Starfire looked up at the sky trying to think. She's never thought of that before. In the heat of battle she always just let everything come and go as they pleased. She looked back at Raven and tried to make sense of it.
"When I am in battle, I do not fight my emotions. I suppose I allow them to make me stronger." Starfire didn't know how else to explain it.
"My emotions control my powers," Raven said looking down at the floor, "if I were to let them make me stronger I don't know if I could contain it."
"I do not think that is true," Starfire said gently, "you have used your emotions to become stronger before."
Raven thought about that for a moment. She thought back to when she fought Trigon. When she was at her most powerful. She was angry but it was more than that. She was also fighting to protect people she cared about. Fighting for something she loved. At that moment she didn't hold anything back. She released everything she was feeling and her power not only stopped the embodiment of evil, but restored life to the world.
"Perhaps, you believe you lose control because of your emotions, but truly, you lose control because you fight them," Starfire was applying her own experiences to see if she could make sense of Raven's questions, "when we were stranded on that strange planet, after the monster of loud screams attacked us, I lost control of my powers. But it was not because I fought them but because I could no longer feel them," Starfire's voice turned to sadness as she looked down and closed her eyes, "when Robin said I was not his friend who was a girl it truly damaged me. The damage was so painful I could no longer feel what I had felt before," she looked back at Raven trying to clarify, "I was so confused of how I felt that my powers refused to obey my commands."
Raven looked at Starfire in disbelief. She had no idea all that happened. She remembers the day Starfire is talking about but she just remembers it as an awkward misunderstanding.
"I... had no idea," Raven said sympathetically, "that must've been so hard for you," Raven was starting to feel she had more in common with Starfire than she initially thought.
"It was very hard," Starfire replied accepting the sympathy, "but when Robin helped me to understand, I was no longer confused and my powers returned to me."
Raven filled with discomfort. The only one who could help her understand her emotions was her. But even she didn't understand them. After all, she's spent her entire life suppressing them thinking it was for the best.
"Yeah... I don't think I have that kind of option," Raven said in her common dark tone.
"Oh I think you do!" Starfire said trying to cheerfully convince her friend, "you must embrace your feelings and trust they will guide you!"
Raven sighed. She knew this could go horribly wrong but she asked for Statfire's help on this because she knew Starfire was the only who could possibly understand her.
"Ok..." Raven said unconvinced. She figured it was best to at least give it a chance, "but how do I do that?"
"What I do is picture what drives the emotion I need to defeat what ever I am facing," Starfire was speaking confidently. She really did know what she was talking about but this applied to her own powers. She didn't know if they'd work for Raven, "if I need use of Starbolts, I picture what makes me most angry. I used to picture the Gordanians for my anger," she paused and her face grew sad as she thought of someone even worse, "but now I picture my sister, Blackfire."
Raven thought back to when she first met Starfire. She was held captive by an alien fleet known as the Gordanians. She was their slave. A prize Raven remembered Starfire saying. To have someone that could hurt you more than someone who enslaved you is nearly impossible. But Blackfire could definitely fit that role. She was ruthless and evil to Starfire. Treated her less than garbage. Less than a slave. And she was supposed to be family. Someone you could depend on for anything. Raven understood this all too well.
"So I suppose you should try picturing whatever you must to ensure your emotion grants you victory," Starfire looked at Raven with a small smile.
"What if I just want my emotions to let me control my power?" Raven asked trying to apply Starfire's advice to her own powers.
Starfire giggled as if the answer was obvious, "our powers are connected to our emotion, yes? So it is not control we must seek. We must work with them in harmony. No one can truly choose the emotion which they feel. So no one can truly control them."
Raven's eyes widened. It felt like lightning stuck her. It all made sense to her now. Anytime she ever felt anything, she never chose to feel it. Something or someone always influenced her emotions. Fighting them is how she lost control so many times.
She thought back to the first time they fought control freak. After they defeated him at the video store, Beastboy rented a terrifying movie that horrified her. But she refused to accept that she was really afraid. She fought her emotion of fear and in doing so her powers vanished from her control and eluded her. Her powers escaped in the form of horrifying monsters that nearly destroyed the entire team. It was only when she accepted her fear and used it as her strength that she regained control of her powers and saved her friends.
It finally clicked in Raven's mind. It was like she was trying to swim up stream. Fighting nature at its roots. Nature would win everytime. Raven lifted her head upright and positioned her hands in their usual meditation pose. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
"Ok. I'll try," Raven spoke with hope but she was still filled with worry that this might not work.
Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos...
She dove deep into meditation while Starfire observed. She searched her mind for the emotions she had been feeling. She pictured what she cared about most. Starfire, Cyborg, Robin... Beastboy.
Her emotions started cousring through her and her power spiked with energy as a whirlwind started forming around her. She could feel her power wanting to be unleashed as images of her green friend flashed through her mind. The way he proected her, comfort her, he was always trying to make her laugh and smile. She felt happy. Like she had always wanted him to do those things for her. But she would usualy supress these emotions and clear her mind so her powers would be contained, giving her control. But this was no longer working due to her emotions growing stronger each day. They were beginning to overpower her mind. She knew for certain that she needed a new way to control her powers.
Starfire gasped as she watched her friend emmitt an enormous amount of power. She was frightened just by the sheer force of Raven's power without her even trying but she trusted Raven to get through this. To find control and balance.
The next image appeared in Raven's mind. It was Terra. Images flashed before her eyes from her memory of Terra's betrayal, redemption, resurrection... and her lifeless body on the floor of the school. She felt angry. Angry that she had trusted her before and guilty that she brought her back only to get seriously injured.
Raven's power grew more intense and the whirlwind around her grew stronger as dark energy started to glow with her aura. Things were getting dangerous.
The next image she saw was unexpected and hard for Raven to handle. She didn't intend to think of this but the thought came to her without her consent. Images of Terra and Beastboy. When Beastboy was trying so hard to win Terra's heart. The memories appeared in waves. Them laughing, Beastboy protecting her, defending her, and losing control of himself because of her. Almost the same way Raven loses control. She felt jealous. Jealous that Terra had the love of someone she loved now and angry that he had his heart broken by her more than once.
Her emotions began buring like a fire in her. She didn't want to see these images. She tried to cast them aside. To bury them. Avoid them as she had in past. But her emotions were growing so strong she couldn't block them out. She couldn't bury them anymore.
The whirlwind around her had turned into a hurricane. Debris and small objects began spiraling around her at incredible speed. She could feel herself losing control as she tried to suppress the images that were making her so uncomfortable with the mixture of emotions.
She was still trying to control her emotions too much and at this point she couldn't stop and clear her mind. They had taken over completely. She was about to lose all hope when she heard Starfire's faint voice encouraging her over the force of her power.
"You must let go of control!" she shouted over the force of the hurricane surrounding Raven. Starfire had her arms raised forming an X over her face to protect herself from the small flying objects being tossed around by the force of Raven's power. She had her left eye closed but continued to keep her right eye slightly open, fixed on her friend from behind her arms that protected her face, "your emotions must guide you!" She could see Raven was starting to struggle and felt she needed to help.
Raven was lost in her own mind. Guide me? How do I let them guide me? They're too strong. They control too much of my power.
Black bolts of lightning started discharging from the dark energy that surrounded her pushing through the the hurricane like a needle through cloth.
She couldn't seem let her emotions go. She couldn't embrace them. After a lifetime spent trying to bury any and all emotion in order to contain the power she had, it was just too difficult for her to change everything in just a few hours.
"Star...fire..." Raven struggled to say while clenching her jaw trying to keep her powers from running wild, "Run! ... I... can't... control it..."
"You must embrace what you feel! Whatever you are feeling let yourself feel it!" Starfire shouted, "let go Raven!"
It was clear to Raven, Starfire wasn't leaving. She knew she was resilient but when Raven loses control, something much more powerful is unleashed and even Starfire could get seriously hurt. In a last minute attempt to protect her friend, Raven took a leap of faith with Starfire's advice. She let everything go and let her emotions flood her mind and soul. She raised her head to the sky and let out an earth shattering scream. Her eyes flashed white and glowed as bright at the sun.
What seemed like an impossible amount of power was unleashed in a terrifying blast of dark energy. The dark shape of a bird explode out of Raven into the air, nearly doubling the size of the Tower. It rose high and stretched its wings to its limit, filling the sky with darkness. The massive bird let out a long and loud screech that sounded like it was in pain. Like it was suffering. When the cry of pain finally faded its wings closed into its body and the bird performed a flawless nose dive back to its origin. Back to Raven.
Silence...
The sounds of the waves landing on the island of Titans Tower was all that could be heard. It was peaceful. Raven felt peaceful.
"Raven?" Starfire asked calmly, "you are, ok?"
Raven opened her eyes from her meditation to see her red haired friend just a foot away from her. Her face was filled with concern. Raven looked around expecting the worst... but everything was exactly as it was when she first entered her meditation. Her hands still remained in their usual pose as she levitated above the Tower. She looked back at Starfire who now had a huge smile on her face with tears in her eyes.
Raven felt a cool breeze on her face. Much cooler than normal. She removed a hand from its pose and raised it to her face. Surprise struck her when she found tears running down her cheeks. She didn't remember crying. She looked at her hand to see if she was just imagining it but no... The tears were there. On her fingertips.
She looked back at Starfire and before she could react Starfire wrapped her arms around her, nearly crushing her. She started twirling Raven around in circles almost creating a hurricane of her own.
"Raven!" She exclaimed, "You have done it!" She was laughing with excitment for her friend. Raven allowed herself be be swarmed by her friend's feeling of pride and joy. When Starfire finally let go she looked at Raven like a brand new person.
"Yeah," Raven giggled for a second before turning away from Starfire. Her smile slowly disappeared, "I guess I did." Raven was happy she found herself a new way to take control. But what she just felt wasn't necessarily a good feeling. It was painful. Letting herself feel for the first time in her life meant she didn't have a way of coping with her emotions. A way to deal with all the joy, sadness and pain that each emotion comes with. It was as if she was feeling everything all at once for the first time. And the first time feeling everything meant it was extremely overwhelming as if her emotions were 10 times stronger than normal. Raven began to think that not feeling anything would be better than what she felt now. She wanted to bury all her feelings away... Again.
Far away somewhere unknown, a dark figure sat in a massive room with a single light barely illuminating the area around him. He wore a cloak that covered him head to toe with a hood that covered his face. Just visible in the light were old machines used for mass production of manufacturing goods. The machines were all in line like a factory.
The sound of high heels clicked and clacked on the concrete floor as a woman approached him walking past the machines. When she ended up in front of him she stopped and began to give a report.
"The people of the city are all starting to believe the Titans are no longer trustworthy," she wore a business cusual dress and her blonde hair flowed with a gentle breeze coming from a few broken windows of the facotry. It was Melissa and she spoke with a devious tone, "I can begin to organize an offical protest whenever you're ready."
The hidden figure looked up from under his hood but it cast a dark shadow concealing his face.
"Excellent work my dear," he said with content, "but let's give it more time to breathe. We want as many as possible against the Titans. However, it might be time to start working on phase two." He pulled a remote from under his cloak l with his right hand and pressed the only button it held.
The sound of a power suge roared as all the machines around them came to life with the gears inside them spinning ferociously.
With his left hand, he pulled out a mechanical device from under his cloak as his right hand return to the darkness of his body. His hands were covered by gloves and his arms wore long sleeves. In his left hand he held what looked like a face. Where eyes should glow red they were black. It looked exactly like the face the Titans had beaten. The face of the mechanical creature.
"We wouldn't want to keep our friends from getting a second chance now would we?"