At the carnival, Beastboy was walking around trying to get Terra off his Mind. He felt the best way to get her out of his system was to go to the place she and him shared the most sensitive memories and fight the inner battle that plagued his mind with mixed emotions.
You need to move on Beastboy. There's no point in living in the past. He thought to himself. Why did she have to come to the Tower? What was she doing there? I was just starting to move past all this!
He went from ride to ride seeing the memories of himself and Terra enjoying themselves as if they were happening right in front of him. His plan was obviously not working.
"Ahhh! Come on dude! Get it together!" He yelled at himself, leaning back as he wrapped his hands around the top of his head, "she's just one girl. A girl who doesn't care about you. You gotta get past this!"
He continued walking from ride to ride until he came to the house of mirrors. The place where he made the darkest memory he had of her. He took a deep breath and forced himself inside.
Making his way past every mirror he found himself surrounded by a circle of mirrors that had all been shattered. The air around him chilled him to the bone as if the ghost of his past was haunting him in this very room. He stared into a shattered mirror that reflect a dozen images of himself from each cracked shard.
"Why?" He asked his reflection in the broken mirror, "why didn't you save her?"
To his surprise the reflection spoke back.
"Because she lied to you. She tricked you into leaving your friends to die," it spoke.
"She wouldn't do that," he responded.
"Well she did," it instantly spat back, "and where were you? Playing games and riding carnival rides while your friends fought off the hoard of robots that Terra let in the front door of your home."
"I trusted her! She was my friend!" Beastboy said getting angry, "Slade was the one who did that! Not Terra!"
"Slade didn't force her to do anything," the broken reflection argued, "she knew what she was doing!"
Beastboy lowered his head gritting his teeth. He knew what he heard was true but he still refused to believe it.
"Slade was right you know," the reflection continued, "she doesn't want to see you anymore."
Beastboy looked up at the broken mirror. With all the chaos that was going on, he completely forgot about the robotic replica of Slade he fought in the very room he was standing in.
"Face it Beastboy!" The reflection yelled, "it's over!"
Beastboy's face grew with rage and he morphed into a rhino and charged through the already broken mirror shattering the wall it was on sending the remaining shards flying. Now he stood in the middle of a separate room that was also surrounded by mirrors still intact.
This was the room where he made his biggest regret. Where he told Terra she didn't have any friends. Where Slade took her from him. He dropped to his knees and wept. Wept for his failure as a man. His failure as a friend.
The Titans were gathering at the Tower waiting for Robin's command to move out. Terra stood behind the team listening from a distance but Raven wouldn't let her out of her sight. She stood side-ways to the team so she could see Terra from the corner of her eye.
"Alright team," Robin spoke, "we need to get to this carnival as quickly as possible. Beastboy has been in a bad place lately so we need to make sure he's ok," he looked to Raven and Starfire, "Raven, Starfire. You two head there now ahead of us. The quicker you get there, the better," he turned to Cyborg and Terra, "Cyborg, Terra and I will take the T-Ship and make our way over as fast as we can."
The team all looked at Robin and nod their heads understanding what he was planning. Robin was planning on taking Terra home first so she would be out of harms way and Beastboy would be able to come home without worry. If Terra knew his plan she'd resist and they'd have another problem to deal with, delaying their rescue mission even futher.
"Titans, move!" Robin shouted.
Raven and Starfire head for the front door. Starfire opened the door and stepped out into the chill of the night's air from the storm that now only had a few drops falling here and there. She started to fly in the direction her communicator was telling her to go but Raven held back as she looked at the floor where Beastboys night cap still lay.
She picked it up and thought about Beastboy when he walked past her earlier. He was fighting to keep his promise to himself. His promise to let Terra go. But the last thing he needed was her showing up at the door late at night in the pouring rain. Pain shot through Raven's heart knowing that Terra probably halted his healing process he had struggled so hard to start. The healing that she so desperately wanted for him.
"Raven!" Starfire shouted back towards the Tower once she noticed her friend was not flying next to her, "we must find Beastboy at once!"
Raven gripped the night cap in a fist and looked up at Starfire hovering a fair distance away. She jumped into the air, leaned forward and quickly flew to where Starfire waited and they both took off like missiles towards Beastboys location.
"T-Ships ready to fly," Cyborg said as the engines powered up, "you sure about this?" He asked Robin knowing his plan.
"I'm sure," Robin said with a heavy heart.
"Sure about what?" Terra asked nervously. She could sense something was off.
The jets roared as the T-Ship took off into the night sky. They were not headed in the direction of the girls and Terra took notice. She grew worried.
"We're not following the others?" She asked with a heavy amount of concern.
"I'm sorry Terra," Robin said with sympathy, "we're taking you home. Beastboy needs time and with you around it's just gonna make it harder on him."
Terra's heart sank. She felt betrayed. She needed to talk to Beastboy. She needed him to know how sorry she was. She needed him to know how thankful she was for him. Now she didn't know when she would ever be able to tell him. A tear rolled down her cheek as she looked out into the darkness where the girls were flying away.
Raven and Starfire landed at the carnival. The roller coaster that used to Stand tall was now collapsed and in ruins from something massive that crashed through the tracks. The ferris wheel had been cratered from some unknown force that split the ground underneath it. It looked like no one had been to this carnival in ages.
"This is not a place I would find joy in attending," Starfire said worried for her friend, "why would Beastboy come to this location?"
Raven thought about what Terra had said before they felt the Tower. It was the place her nightmares took place. She could only imagine that Beastboy had been here with Terra a long time ago... and something went wrong.
"Let's just find him Star," Raven said equally as worried, "I'll start at this end, you start on that side. We'll meet in the middle. If you find him tell me."
Starfire nod and flew to the opposite end of the carnival. But Raven already knew where he was. She could sense him and all the anguish he was facing. She walked over to the house of mirrors and stood outside for a second before entering.
Raven wanted a moment alone with Beastboy to see if she could get an idea of where Beastboy stood with his emotions. She looked back to see Starfire was now out of sight and took a deep breath before looking back up at the entrance and stepping inside. She walked through the hallway of mirrors passing each reflection of herself with caution. When she came to a room of shattered mirrors she could hear weeping from an unknown location. She looked around to see a massive hole in the wall where something had recently bulldozed it to a pile of rubble.
"Beastboy!" She called out hoping to hear him respond.
The weeping went silent and Raven knew he was fighting hard to bury his emotions before anyone saw him.
She walked through the hole in the wall into a circular room that had all its mirrors intact aside from the one that was destroyed and replaced with a massive hole in the wall.
Beastboy sat in the middle of the room and Raven came in as he wiped his face with his sleeve with a sniffle. He kept his head down in his lap with his heels on the floor and his knees raised as his arms wrapped around them with his hands joined in front of him.
"Beastboy," Raven said again, "it's ok. You don't have to hide your emotions from me," she walked into the room and knelt down in front of him, "I've come to learn that keeping your emotions in... is a one way path to self destruction."
Beastboy's lips trembled as he fought back tears. He wouldn't allow himself to look up at Raven.
"Beastboy?" She asked concerned there was something more that she wasn't seeing, "what is it?"
Beastboy let out a quick sob followed by a quick breath. He breathed heavily in through his nose and raised his head.
"This is where I let her down," he confessed. He sounded like he was confessing to himself more than Raven, "this is where I turned my back on her. Where I lost her to Slade," he lower his head and the tears started to flow again, "this is where I made the biggest mistake of my life."
Raven face was in awe. Of all places why would he come here? The most painful place for him to be. What was the point of this?
"Why?" Raven asked confused, "why did you feel the need to come here?"
"I thought it would a good way to get past everything," he tried to explain, "I thought if I could handle being here... I could handle her haunting my mind," his voice cracked as he tried to get through it all, "but I was wrong. I can't do it. I'm not strong enough. I've never been strong enough."
Raven understood that he wasn't just talking about right now but the past as well. Raven's fears were confirmed. Beastboy had relapsed into his emotions. Terra's surprise visit hit him harder than she expected.
"What happened here, Beastboy?" Raven asked searching for answers.
Beastboy kept his head down not wanting to answer but he owed his friends some answers and decided to relive his darkest memories.
"The night Terra helped Slade attack the Tower... She brought me here," his voice changed it was a little brighter than before as if remembering a good memory, "we were laughing... having fun... playing games and riding rides," his voice went dark again, "but then he showed up. He tried to take her. I fought him. I was trying to protect her," Beastboy paused as the pain took over, "but then he told me that Terra was his apprentice. That she helped him attack you guys."
"Slade took advantage of her," Raven said trying to comfort him, "it wasn't your fault."
"I could've stopped him!" Beastboy raised his voice in frustration, "but I was so angry with her... I yelled at her. I told her we weren't friends even after I promised we always would be," his voice went soft, "and then she went with Slade... and I didn't even try to stop her."
Raven understood now why the carnival was in ruins. Beastboy fought Slade and tore the place apart fighting him. She knew now that he wasn't just struggling to get over Terra. He was struggling to get over his memory of abandoning her when she needed him.
"I'm... I'm so sorry, Beastboy," Raven said unsure of what else to say, "these memories... this place... it's just a massive nightmare for you," it was more than a coincidence Terra had said the same thing. They must share the same feeling about this place even if they don't know it. Raven looked away trying to figure out what to say next, "but you can't blame yourself. Terra made that decision and there was nothing you could do about it," she looked back at him and raised his chin so he was staring at her, "she's different now though," she said trying to bring him hope, "she came to the Tower wanting to tell you she's thankful for you. Thankful that you saved her. She wanted to apologize for everything," Raven looled away with a small amount of shame, "I may have been... kinda rude to her..." Her gaze returned to Beastboy's eyes, "but when she said she was sorry I could tell she meant every word even though she has no memory of what she did," Raven felt a sharp pain in her chest as she was about to say her next sentence, "I think... I think you should talk to her. It might bring you the peace you need."
Beastboy's eyes stayed locked on Raven's and they stared at each other for a long moment in silence. Beastboy had never seen this from Raven... She wanted him to talk to Terra? This was completely unexpected. Beastboy knew that Raven only wanted to help him and that she was giving him the best advice she could. She truly wanted what was best for Beastboy even if she didn't like it herself. He felt an overwhelming amount of support from her and it brightened his spirit immensely.
Beastboy took her hand off his chin and as Raven was about to take her hand back he gripped it tighter keeping her close to him. Raven blushed as she let Beastboy grip her hand tightly.
They both started to lean towards each other as their faces grew closer and closer to one another. The silence grew excpet for the pounding in their chests as their eyes began to shut...
"Beastboy!" Starfire shouted as she interrupted them.
The silence shattered around them and their heads snapped towards the hole in the wall where Starfire stood.
"Thank X'Hal you are unharmed!" Starfire ran across the room, sliding on her knees into Beastboy's side wrapping her arms around him nearly squeezing the life out of him.
"Yeah..." Beastboy gasped trying to breathe, "I'm ok Star," he said desperately trying to get her to release him as his face started turning blue.
Raven's blush faded and she stood up and turned her back to them. She put her hood over her head in a stupor, unable to comprehend what nearly just took place.
Perfect timing as usual Starfire. Raven thought to herself.