Raven was quietly sitting outside Cyborgs room. She felt bad for following Robin to see what he was going to learn from Cyborg about their current situation but she had to know. While sitting outside Cyborg's door listening closely, she was disappointed to learn that Cyborg hadn't found anything either. But just before she was going to leave Cyborg peaked her curiosity.
"I think I have an idea of how Terra came back." Cyborg spoke with seriousness. He was almost positive to the point he had no doubt in his theory, "remember what that guy at the hospital said about finding her?"
"Carver Kane?" Robin replied, "yeah. He said they found her wandering around miles outside the city."
"Six months ago," Cyborg clarified, "and what happened six months ago?"
"Well... We got back from fighting the Brotherhood of Evil about two months ago. And we fought them for about 4 months," Robin was trying to remember back, "I suppose... before that... we faced the end of the world."
"Exactly," Cyborg said confirming, "we had... what? Maybe two days after Raven took down Trigon before Beastboy got the call from the Doom Patrol? So we didnt have much time at home did we? So if she came back right after Trigon went down there's no way we would've known."
Cyborg turned to his computer and pulled up the files he looked up from the hospitals public records, "I also checked the hospital records. There was a girl checked in under the name Terra for three days around that time," he turned the screen towards Robin, "records show she was going through rehab for memory loss. Sound like our girl?"
"I guess..." Robin was trying to get Cyborg to get to the point, "But how do you know it was right after Raven defeated her father?"
"When Trigon first showed up what happened to the Earth?" Cyborg was trying to make sure Robin was following everything he said.
"What do you mean? It was swallowed in flames. Everything was gone." Robin respond.
"And do you remember what happened to all the people?" Cyborg asked.
"They were gone too... Turned to stone." Robin moved his hand to his chin trying to connect the dots of what Cyborg was presenting to him.
"When Raven beat her father... Then what happened to them?" Cyborg was looking at Robin like the answer was right in front of his face.
Robins eyes went wide as the answer dawned on him. "It was Raven," he said under his breath, "she brought Terra back," he looked at Cyborg for confirmation.
Raven gasped and her right hand shot to her face, covering her mouth to silence herself. Her legs felt weak and her knees nearly buckled. She thought about it and what they were saying made perfect sense. Her overwhelming power that day was 10 times stronger than her fathers. Even if Terra had turned to stone prior to Trigon's terror it was entirely possible her own power could have erased Terra's stone imprisonment.
Raven's eyes were wide in shock and she had a mixture of emotions coursing through her in waves. She was glad she could have been the reason Terra was no longer a statue forgotten in the darkness but that also meant... She was the cause for all of Beastboy's pain right now. She started breathing heavily into her hand. She put her other hand gently agaisnt Cyborg's door and slowly eased her way to her knees. She still didn't want to be discovered by the boys in Cyborg's room.
Cyborg relaxed knowing that Robin believed him, "It makes sense," Cyborg continued, "if Trigon could turn everyone to stone and Raven could change everyone back... Why wouldn't Terra be included?"
Robin racked his brain for a moment trying to poke a hole in Cyborg's theory. Any hole at all. But it all seemed too... perfect. Everything fit into place like a jigsaw puzzle. He was convinced.
After they sat in silence tying to take in the theroy of Terra's revival, Cyborg grew restless. He took a long look at Robin who was still thinking and broke the silence.
"Should we tell Raven?" Cyborg asked. He knew she didn't like Terra very much but he felt she deserved to know that she saved her.
"No," Robin replied quickly, "she's not doing well lately. This could make things worse."
Cyborg looked at Robin confused and concerned, "what happened?"
"Earlier today at the prison..." Robin started, "Raven caved into her anger when Mod said something about Beastboy. Starfire and I nearly had to fight her."
Cyborg looked at Robin with even more concern. Then looked down at the floor trying to remember the last time Raven had lost control. After a long moment nothing recent came to mind.
"Man..." Cyborg lift his hand to the back of his head, "its been a long time since Rae had a day like that," he started to think about how she has been acting lately. At the school. At the diner. Something was up and he wondered what it was. He lowered his hand and looked back at Robin, "you think it has something to so with Terra being back?"
"I don't think so," Robin replied with confidence not looking at Cyborg, "I actually think... It has something to do with Beastboy."
"Beastboy?" Cyborg asked confused, "what could BB have to do with Raven?"
"I'm not sure. But whatever it is... It's dangerous." Robin sounded serious as if the team was in jeopardy.
Raven couldn't listen anymore. She felt like she had been exposed. Plus the last thing Robin said struck her like a dagger to the chest. She just wanted to be alone and hide from the world. Dark energy filled the floor around her and she fell through her newly formed portal and disappeared. She reappeared out of the floor of her own room where she had been meditating earlier. She felt sick to her stomach. At this point... everyone knew her secret.
Everyone except Beastboy.
Cyborg and Robin were bending their minds over the entire situation. Raven, Beastboy, Terra, Mad Mod. All of it was too much for them to figure out. They sat in silence for so long thinking about the whole chain of events that Cyborg got so frustrated he just wanted to break the silence. With some anger he just blurted out the thing that was annoying him the most.
"Doesn't this whole thing seem weird to you?" He said to Robin aggressively.
"Which part? The whole thing is weird." Robin respond understanding Cyborg's frustration.
"That my point," he replied, "first, that thing attacked us, it led us to the school where BB found Terra, then Mad Mod attacks that exact school? Doesn't that... I don't know... Seem weird to you?" Cyborg sounded like his head was about to explode.
Robin thought about it and he couldn't argue. The whole thing seemed connected but why? How? Where is this whole thing headed and where did it come from? All he knew was this was something he desperately wanted to figure out as soon as possible.
"I don't know," he started heading for Cyborgs door, "but we should definitely look into it," as he left the room Cyborg could see the look of determination on Robins face. The same look he would get when he started to obsess over something they were facing. Cyborg was wondering if he should have said anything.
In Raven's room, Raven was collapsed on the floor. She was in denial of what she just heard but deep down she knew there was no other explanation. She wanted to cry but no matter how hard she tried to keep it in, it came pouring out of her.
No. No, no, no, no, no, no. She thought to herself. Why her? Anyone but her. Beastboy is going to hate me when he finds out.
A soft knock at the door filled the empty space around her. Raven jumped at the sound even though it was just a gentle tap. Her head whipped around to the door.
"Raven? It's me," to her surprise, it was Beastboy. He was standing outside her room, "I just wanted to check on you. You kinda disappeared earlier when we all were playing video games. I mean... even Starfire was with us and she didn't even play," he chuckled.
Raven was filled with mixed emotions. Why is he here? Why now? There couldn't have been a worse time for him to show up.
"Raven?" Beastboy asked again starting to worry, "are you ok?"
"No." Raven said softly, barely louder than a whisper. She had no intention of telling him what she had been through today.
"Oh... Well... I'm here for you," Beastboy sounded genuine. Like he really cared. "I know I might not be the best guy to talk to... but I'm a good listener."
She was shocked that he could even hear her after how soft she spoke. It was too late to make an excuse now so she tried to end the conversation immediately, "go away, Beastboy," she said through her tears. The last thing she wanted was for Beastboy to see her like this. Especially after what she just heard from Robin.
"Raven..." Beastboy sounded hurt. He wasn't expecting her to say something like that.
"I'm sorry," Raven said apologetically, "but you can't be here right now."
Beastboy could hear her voice cracking over her tears. He started to worry even more and decided to push back.
"Well I'm here. And I'm going to stay until I know you're ok." He didn't have an ounce of aggression in his voice but he stood his ground and made himself clear.
Raven was at war with herself. How does she tell someone she had new found feelings for, that she can't talk to them? That being close to them is dangerous? She didn't want to hurt him anymore than she already has. She stood up and faced the door. She was so frustrated she didn't know what else to do except yell.
"What do you want from me?!" Raven sounded angry. She was tired of playing this emotional game with herself.
Beastboy sat there for a moment in silence thinking about that question. What did he want from her?
"I just..." Beastboy took a second to figure out what he was going to say, "I just... want you to be happy."
"Well I can't be," Raven respond instantly showing her frustration, "I can't be happy because that would mean I have to put you all in danger," she looked away trying to fight back her emotions but they still found their way out as she looked back at the door Beastboy stood behind, "I can't be happy knowing that I'm the reason we're in this whole mess! THAT IT'S MY FAULT YOU'RE SUFFERING!" Her voice reached the point of screaming.
Her emotions started to boil over and everything in her room started to tremble as her powers started to break free from her control.
Beastboy had absolutely no idea what she was talking about but he could feel Raven's room shaking like a small earthquake and he didn't hesitate to take action. He threw the door open to see Raven standing in the middle of her room shaking in frustration with her aura glowing with dark energy. She was emitting incredible power that was taking control of her room. Papers from nearby books and bookshelves were spiraling around the room with Raven at the center of their vortex and her face held a look Beastboy had never seen before.
He's seen what Raven looks like when her anger takes over and she looked nothing like that. This was something completely different.
Beastboy ran over to her taking her in his arms. Raven stood there shaking. She was in pain. It wasn't her anger that had been set loose, it was her sadness. She couldn't contain it anymore. It came spilling out of her in the only way it could.
Beastboy squeezed her tighter ensuring her everything will be ok and she closed her eyes and put her head into the neck of his shoulder and cried as the vortex of papers danced around them. She cried harder than she's ever allowed herself to cry and when she did... she found her power started to fade away. The room slowly stopped shaking and the papers drifted to a halt around the the room. Her dark glow faded and she raised her arms and squeezed Beastboy back with all her strength, sobbing harder than she ever wanted to show. It was her turn to be held by Beastboy while she let out all her pain.
"It's not your fault," Beastboy said, "Terra was not your fault."
"You don't understand," Raven replied in between sobs, "yes it was."
"No it-"
"Yes!" Raven interrupted him raising her voice. But soon after she returned to her soft tone, "it was."
They both stood in silence as Beastboy held her tightly. He didn't know what she meant and his face turned to confusion.
"I..." Raven started struggling to finish her sentence, "I brought her back."
Beastboy released her and stepped back to look at Raven's face. He could see she was serious and she was telling the truth.
"All the pain you're going through right now is because of me." Raven held her head low. She couldn't allow herself to look Beastboy in the face anymore.
"H-How?" Beastboy stumbled over his question.
"Does it matter?" Raven's strength left her voice. "She's alive. She got hurt. And you're the one who's suffering," She paused trying to work up the strength to accept what she said next, "and its all because of me." She knew Beastboy was going to disown her for this and she knew her heart wasn't going to be able to take it.
Beastboy froze in his tracks. He was in disbelief. Terra was saved by the last person he expected to save her. She succeeded where he failed. She saved her when he couldn't.
"No," Beastboy finally replied, "it was my fault we lost Terra in the first place."
Raven looked up to see he wasn't blaming her at all. He thought Raven hadn't done a single thing wrong. She waited quietly for Beastboy to continue.
"The night she helped Slade attack the Tower... I could have saved her. I could have stopped her from becoming what she was," Beastboy's guilt was intense. Raven could feel that it was just as bad as when they were at the diner, "if I had, none of this would have ever happened," he sunk lower as he finished his sentence, "but instead I turned my back on her... and she became a monster."
Raven's eyes widened. She understood why Beastboy was so hard on himself at the diner. He wasn't just talking about the kids he injured, he was talking about how he lost Terra to Slade when he could have saved her. She felt so stupid for not realizing this sooner. It was right in front of her the whole time. Beastboy wasn't just upsert or feeling guilty. He was at war with all of his emotions...
Just like she was.