Outside the diner, the rest of the team waited impatiently as they leaned against the side of the T-Ship. They didn't know what Raven was saying to Beastboy, all they could do was hope she could get through to him.
It was completely silent between the three of them. The air was filled with crickets chirping, hidden in the darkness around them.
After 20 minutes, the door of the diner finally opened. The whole team leapt to their feet and spun towards the door desperate to know what happened. Raven was exiting the diner. She had a look of absolute heartbreak on her face. She looked up to see the rest of her friends staring at her, begging for information.
Raven flashed a fake smile at them for a second and turned around to wait for Beastboy to follow her out. He had his head down with tears still on his face from earlier. He looked up to see Raven with her unconvincing smile and he returned the same smile to her. At this point that was all their faces could muster: A fake smile.
He walked past Raven up to his friends who were still silent but Raven lingered behind at the door. She needed some space from everyone to process the conversation she had just had with Beastboy... and the realization she had just found in herself.
The chirpping in the darkness went silent and the air grew cold as Beastboy stopped in front of them. Beastboy looked up at them still rich with sorrow. He wiped his tears away and the team gathered close around him, desperately waiting for him to speak.
"Guys..." he began, "I'm so... so sorry. I messed up. I messed up worse than I've ever messed up." Beastboy sounded as if he were saying a permanent fairwell, "I know I did. So... I decided..." His ears dropped and his head followed, "that I can't be a Titan anymore."
The team gasped. From the door where Raven was observing from distance, she felt a sting of panic. She was not expecting him to say anything like that. She flew over to where the others stood so she could see Beastboy's face. He was serious. He truly intended to leave the team.
"No." Raven said aggressively, "you're not going anywhere. You belong with us. You're a part of this team. You can't just walk away." She was almost angry in the way she spoke. Her heart was tearing to pieces. She had finally found someone she truly cared for with all her heart and he was just about to disappear forever?!
"Raven's right B," Cyborg said, "we wouldn't last 5 minutes without you."
"I can't risk hurting anyone else," Beastboy replied.
"Casualties happen Beastboy," Robin interjected, "in any fight. In any war. But that doesn't mean you stop fighting. For every person you might hurt there's a hundred more depending on you to save them. You can't quit on them." Robins voice was sincere and kind. Like he was talking to a little brother.
"Guys, I really appreciate what youre trying to do," Beastboy said softly, "but my mind is made up." He looked up at the team to ensure they knew he wasn't kidding.
"No," Starfire said covering her mouth, "Please, I beg you to reconsider. I can not bare to watch my friend leave us."
"She's not the only one," Raven add, "I-WE all need you." She caught herself. She wanted to say more, but she couldn't. She was no longer alone with him and her friends could get the wrong idea... And so could Beastboy
"At least give it a couple days before you make a decision," Cyborg said trying to convince him to stay just a little longer, "come on man, don't just go running out on us because of one bad day."
Beastboy thought long and hard about it while looking from one Titan to the next. The love for him was pouring out of them, warming the air that was cold just a minute ago. He felt less guilty and more disapointed. Disappointed in himself. He sighed and looked down for a second before looking back up at them.
"Ok. I'll stay for a few days," he brought his friends hope only for a moment before he shattered it once again, "it will give me some time to figure out where I'm gonna go. I promise, I won't be a burden anymore."
The Titans were heart broken. Was this really it? Did one incident really tear Beastboy apart this much?
"Beastboy," Robin said sternly, "you were NEVER a burden to us. More importantly, even if you were we'd still need you. You're not just a Teen Titan. You're family."
Beastboy looked up at Robin shocked. Robin had been their leader for a long time but Beastboy never heard him refer to any of the Titans as family before. It reminded him of the Doom Patrol. They practically raised him... but he felt more at home with the Titans than he ever did with the Doom Patrol.
"We're... Family?" Beastboy asked showing signs of hope.
"Of course we are, man," Cyborg respond full heartedly.
"We always have been," Robin said with confidence, "even if we didn't know it yet."
Raven blushed. She could feel the icy chill of depression in Beastboy's heart start to fade as the warmth of hope slowly took its place. She reached forward, wrapped her arms around him and closed her eyes.
"We are, Beastboy," Raven said passionatly, "we are."
The other Titans followed her lead and surrounded Beastboy with their arms.
Beastboy let a few tears roll down his face with a small but hopeful smile on his face. They all eased off him and smiled at him as if trying to show him they could get through this. Together. As a family. He looked at Raven. Her hands were still on Beastboy's shoulders with her arms stretched out in front of her.
"Ok," he said relieved, "let's go home."
They got in the T-Ship and started on their way home to Titans Tower. Beastboy no longer smiled as he stared out the window to the dark horizon. The silence on the ride home was haunting.
Raven had been keeping an eye on him the whole time. She knew his pain had something to do with Terra but she hoped she got through to him in some way. However, only time would tell if she really did.
When they arrived at the Tower they all got off the ship and smiled at Beastboy once more, happy to have him home.
"Thanks guys," Beastboy said, "for not giving up on me."
The Titans each gave Beastboy another hug one by one. With each hug they all made their way back to their rooms. It was late and they needed to rest.
Raven was the last one to hug him and she hugged him a lot tighter and longer than the others. When she let go of him the others were gone and they were alone together in hanger where the T-Ship was parked. She blushed once more, accepting the reality that she had found in her emotions.
"Come on," she said happy to have him back, "I'll walk you to you room."
"You don't have to do that," Beastboy said waving his hands in front of himself, "I'm fine. I appreciate the offer though!" He gave a slight laugh with gratitude.
Raven chuckled and grabbed him by the hand and started pulling him toward the door. She was going to walk with him whether he liked it or not.
"Just accept it," she said playfully.
Beastboy was propelled forward by the force Raven had exerted from pulling him. She was a lot stronger than he thought but now he had no choice.
They were walking down the hall side by side and Raven kept looking at Beastboy's face. He wasn't smiling anymore and looked like he was lost in his own thoughts. Raven could feel he was giving off a small feeling of dread. She still wondered what was wrong. She hoped that what she said to him at the diner wasn't the cause but she wouldn't know for sure until she asked him.
"Beastboy," Raven spoke, "are you sure you're ok?"
Beastboy looked over at Raven as if he barely heard her. He was deep in thought and had a lot on his mind.
"Huh? Oh! Yeah. I'm fine," he chuckled nervously raising his right hand to the back of his head.
"You know you're a bad liar right?" Raven shot back at him unconvinced, "you're always there for me. Let me be there for you."
They walked a few more steps in an awkward silence until they finally arrived at Beastboy's room.
"Well," Beastboy started, "thanks... for uh... walking me to my room?" He sounded like he wasn't sure what to think anymore. All this kindness coming from Raven was weird to him. He almost felt like there was something wrong with her.
"Beastboy," Raven sounded serious now, "talk to me. What's wrong?" Her voice turned to sympathy, "What's hurting you right now?"
Beastboy looked into Ravens eyes. He could see she knew. She knew he wasn't ok. He was feeling better... but was still far from ok.
"Its just something you said at the diner." Beastboy finally confessed.
Raven's heart stopped in its place. The last thing she wanted to do was contribute to his pain.
"You said that Terra never really loved me," he continued, "I hate to admit it and I'm having hard time believing it... but I'm starting to think you're right. But even if you're wrong... the fact is... she definitely doesn't love me now." Beastboy's face filled with pain again.
Raven didn't know what to say at first. This was the first time Beastboy had ever said anything like this about Terra. She thought for a second and then respond in a gentle tone.
"Even if she doesn't love you, that doesnt mean other people don't... Be thankful Beastboy. Your surrounded by people who do love you. You don't have keep chasing a love you can't see." Raven fianlly felt like she was helping him. She wasn't scared. She wasn't unsure of what she was saying. She was speaking from her heart and letting her emotions do the rest. It felt freeing to her.
"Thanks Rae," he shot her a small smile, "l think you're right," Beastboy was still sad but the smile he gave Raven that was real and warm. The pain might still be intense but at least it was less than before. After a moment of silence Beastboy took a deep breath and spoke again, "I think it's time I let Terra go. It's for the best."
Raven felt the warmth from the smile he gave her and smiled back. She was happy to have him home and she was even more happy that she was getting closer to him. She felt satisfied and was content with leaving it at that and turned to walk to her room.
Beastboy was also turning to go into his room when he stopped and turned to ask Raven one last question before he went to sleep.
"Hey Raven?" he asked.
"Yes?" Raven said as she spun around to face him again.
"Why are you doing all this for me?" Beastboy was genuinely asking. This was unusual behavior for Raven and he's never seen her do anything like this for the others.
Raven's face went bright red. She wasn't expecting that question and she certainty didn't have an answer for it.
"I-I... uh..." Raven stuttered, "I-I just can't..." She stumbled over her words trying not to reveal too much. This feeling was still very new to her and she didn't know how to handle it, "I just cant... lose you."
Beastboy looked at her with one more smile. It felt good that someone cared about him the way she did right now. It gave him some much needed comfort.
"Don't worry Rae. I'm not going anywhere. Not yet at least." Beastboy sounded like he had finally started to let go of the past and move towards the future. They both knew it was going to be a long process but at least it was a start.
Beastboy turned and went into his room and the door shut behind him. He was exhausted and needed to sleep.
Raven saw Beastboy walk into his room where his journey towards healing had finally began. She was overjoyed to have helped him get to this point. But her smile turned to sadness as she watched the door close in front of her. She still felt uneasy as she still fully believed what she had said to him earlier at the diner.
She knew she didn't deserve him.