In the history of the Kingdom of Velaria, there had been many holidays.
Harvest Feasts. Founding Day. Sword Saints' Solstice. The Annual Giant Duck Parade.
But none of them—not even "Mandatory Dragon Appreciation Hour"—could prepare the realm for the sheer chaos, audacity, and sparkling madness of what came next.
It started with a trumpet.
Then a hundred more.
Then fireworks.
At 8 a.m.
Inside my bedroom.
I sat bolt upright in bed as the entire Royal Orchestra paraded past my balcony window, playing a triumphant fanfare that sounded like someone drop-kicked Beethoven down a marble staircase.
I groaned and reached for a pillow to cover my ears. Unfortunately, a very royal hand beat me to it—grabbing my wrist with far too much enthusiasm.
"Good morning, my darling husband-to-be!" Princess Seraphina declared, beaming with all the radiance of a solar flare in human form.
I blinked at her.
She was wearing a dress made entirely of gold lace and rose petals, and she was somehow both levitating and posing like a wedding cake topper. Behind her stood six maids, two heralds, a confused goat, and a literal marching band.
"What is happening," I croaked.
She twirled in midair, sparkles erupting around her.
"I have made a royal decree!"
My stomach dropped. "You what?!"
[DING!]
[System Notification: Warning! Seraphina has used 'Absolute Royal Authority: 3rd Princess Edition']
[New Event: Engagement Week has begun!]
[Side Effects May Include: Diplomatic incidents, extreme public affection, spontaneous dress fittings, and fainting nobles.]
"Seraphina," I said very carefully, "what exactly does 'Engagement Week' mean?"
She clasped her hands over her heart dramatically.
"It means," she said, her eyes sparkling with tears of joyful insanity, "that the entire kingdom shall celebrate your eventual, inevitable, completely exclusive marriage to me!"
The walls shook. Somewhere, a violin exploded.
I screamed internally.
The system did not help.
[System Commentary: If there was a way to uninstall reality, we would recommend it now.]
[New Passive Skill Unlocked: Royal Target — All political attention is now directed at you.]
[Achievement Earned: "Crowned by Affection, Crushed by Sanity"]
"But I never agreed to an engagement!" I protested.
Seraphina blinked innocently.
"You said 'Hmmph!' yesterday when I kissed your cheek. That's as good as a verbal contract in the royal archives. Don't worry, I had three lawyers and a priest notarize it."
"THAT'S NOT—YOU—WHAT?!"
She waved away my protests like one would shoo a butterfly with a flaming scepter.
"Today marks the first day of the 'Prince Rei's Future Bride Festival!'"
I squinted. "You named it after me?"
"Yes! It will last a full week. Each day, the eligible brides—by which I mean me and those other peasant delusionals—will participate in events to prove our worthiness for your eternal affection and legal binding!"
"I feel like I should be consulted in this."
"You were. In your sleep. You smiled. It counted."
I choked on my own disbelief.
[DING!]
[System Quest Activated: Survive "Engagement Week" Without Dying, Crying, or Accidentally Marrying Someone Else.]
[Rewards: ??? | Penalties: Kingdom-wide scandal, public kissing contests, and more festivals.]
"Today's event," Seraphina announced, clapping her hands, "is the Memory Lane Dance!"
"What."
"A romantic waltz down the corridors of our past! Each candidate must choreograph a dance that embodies her relationship with you! There will be ribbons. There will be crying. There will be judgment."
"I—I don't dance!"
"Then you'll learn. I hired seventeen instructors."
"Seventeen?!"
"They're already in your closet."
I turned my head. My closet door creaked open. Seventeen stern ballerinas with clipboards and buns nodded in unison.
I screamed politely.
The ballroom had been transformed into a glittering cathedral of affection. Rose petals drifted through the air like confetti in slow motion. Mirrors lined the walls, enchanted to replay scenes of me tripping over my own feet from age five onward.
An audience of nobles, officials, and extremely curious squirrels filled the stands.
Seraphina stood center stage in a gown made entirely of embroidered flashbacks.
"Behold!" she cried. "Our sacred memories!"
Music swelled. She danced.
The choreography was shockingly accurate—first a duet of childhood tea time (complete with mimed spilling), followed by our accidental tumble into the palace fountain at age ten, and then—gods help me—the forbidden kiss I gave her on the cheek when I thought I was dying from a bee sting (it was just pollen).
"HE PROMISED ME HIS LIPS IN THAT MOMENT!" she cried mid-spin.
"I WAS HALLUCINATING!"
She landed in a pose so perfect it made the chandeliers weep.
[System Update: +15 Affection (Seraphina)]
[Commentary: She really weaponized nostalgia. Impressive. Terrifying. Typical.]
Next was Drakana.
She danced by smashing through a wall, flexing, breathing fire, and doing what I could only describe as a passionate war stomp while dragging a charred teddy bear.
"This is how he protected me from bullies!" she roared.
"By yelling at them from behind a tree!" I shouted.
[System Note: +12 Affection (Drakana), +3 Property Damage, +1 Charred Furniture]
Then came Rosette.
She didn't dance.
She floated silently, arms outstretched, while sixteen identical maids reenacted our entire relationship using shadow puppets and live knife-throwing.
At the end, she placed a single bloodstained ribbon in my hands.
"I already won," she whispered.
[System Update: +13 Affection (Rosette), -10 Courage]
Then the rest.
Lilia performed a deranged bridal sword dance titled "Wedded or Beheaded."
The fox girl Ayame did a kabuki performance where she kissed a plush doll of me 57 times.
The elf librarian recited a poem so erotic it made the royal bishop faint.
"Contestants!" shouted the announcer. "Please approach the Royal Podium of Passion and state your case!"
Seraphina stepped forward. "I am royalty, beautiful, and our kiss already aired on national crystal-ball broadcast. Case closed."
Drakana smashed the podium. "He smells like home. And smoked ham. No further questions."
Rosette held up a book titled 101 Legally Binding Marriage Loopholes. "I've already declared him next of kin."
Ayame chirped, "We shared a dumpling once!"
Lilia simply held up a sword with Mrs. Lilia Rei engraved on the blade.
The crowd cheered.
I sobbed silently into a pillow held by one of the judgment squirrels.
[DING!]
[System Alert: Public Opinion Now Confused and Horny. Conclusion Pending.]
The final, most scandalous, most unnecessary event.
A crystal crown had been placed on a velvet cushion. Each girl would kiss it while declaring what made her love for me truly unique.
It was part romantic, part ridiculous, and entirely a trap.
Seraphina kissed it with reverence. "He is my destiny. My stars. My future emperor of snuggles."
Drakana licked it. "I marked it. No one else gets a turn."
Rosette kissed it once, silently, then tossed a vial of acid near the base—"In case someone else's lips contaminate it."
Ayame kissed it and took a bite. "Tastes like wedding."
Lilia sharpened it into a shiv and kissed the edge. "Blood pact. Done."
[System Notification: Crown Integrity: 13%]
[Royal Guards: Panic Level: 92%]
I collapsed.
By the end of the day, I was draped in ten cloaks, seven garlands, and five very different forms of perfume from five very different women.
"Wasn't today magical?" Seraphina sighed beside me as we sat on the palace balcony. "Tomorrow is the Cooking of Love challenge! I hope your stomach is ready!"
"...for poison?"
"No, silly. For surprise pregnancy-themed casseroles!"
I screamed.
Again.
[DING!]
[System Summary of Day One: Engagement Week Progress: 18% Complete]
[Affection Leaderboard: 1st – Seraphina | 2nd – Rosette | 3rd – Drakana]
[System Message: Only six more days to go! Haha! Help.]
To be continued…