The moon was still out by the time I dragged myself back home. I had already passed out earlier—thanks to the whole demon-fight-hospital-devil-peerage buffet scenario—so I wasn't tired at all.
I kicked open my bedroom door and dropped onto my bed.
MC: "Man... what a day."
As I laid there, my eyes scanned over my outfit. My school uniform was still spotless. Not a tear. Not even a bloodstain. Suspicious, right?
MC: "Wait... there's no way this is the same uniform. So that means… someone changed me…"
I sat up, wide-eyed.
MC: "They stripped me."
Silence.
MC: "...Please, for the love of everything holy, let it have been Saji. I mean—he is a dude and I ain't gay, but I'll take that over the girls seeing my—"
I physically shook the thoughts out of my head.
MC: "Nope! Nope. Not thinking about that."
I changed into a track suit, ready to burn off this weird energy buzzing through me. Like I'd just downed five Red Bulls and a shot of lightning.
Once I stepped outside, the cold night air smacked my face like a training partner that owed me money. I made my way to the nearby forest—aka, my personal training grounds—and started to stretch.
MC: "Okay, time to get serious."
I crouched low, then jumped.
And when I say jumped, I mean I soared. Like, Dragon Ball whoosh sound effect kind of jump.
MC: "WHAT THE HELL?!"
I crash-landed on a branch.
MC: "Okay okay okay… not gonna lie… that was badass."
I grinned like an idiot. Whatever this devil transformation was, it made me feel insane. Strength pulsed through my limbs. I dashed forward—trees becoming a blur around me—and slammed my fist into a tree.
BOOOOM!
A whole damn line of trees exploded like I'd summoned a forest-sized bowling ball.
MC: "YES! LET'S GO!"
Then something clicked in my head.
Back when I was fighting—or more accurately, getting destroyed—by those rogue demons, I sensed them coming.
MC: "Wait a minute… that wasn't rubber powers. And it definitely wasn't from Sona's fancy chest piece crap."
I froze.
MC: "No. Freaking. Way."
My heart skipped a beat.
MC: "I HAVE HAKI!"
I jumped into the air out of sheer joy—and somehow landed on a branch. Again.
MC: "Oh my god. I'm living the dream. I have freakin' HAKI!"
But a voice of reason (which rarely visits me) whispered:
Reason: "You sure about that? Show, don't tell, dumbass."
Challenge accepted.
A few minutes later, I'd rigged up a "Haki Detection Test." Translation: I tied nine logs to ropes so they could swing at me from different angles. Then, to make it hard mode, I blindfolded myself with an old T-shirt.
MC: "Alright… Observation Haki training, go!"
I pulled the rope.
THWACK!
MC: "AGHHH!"
BAM!
MC: "OW! MY FACE!"
WHACK!
MC: "I'M GONNA DIE!!"
Every. Single. Log. Hit me. Like some wooden revenge squad.
I lay on the ground, groaning.
MC: "Okay… round one goes to the logs."
I didn't give up. For hours, I reset the trap, dodged, got clobbered, reset, got smacked again. Rinse and repeat. Bruises blossomed across my arms and legs. Sweat poured down like rain.
My muscles screamed. My face throbbed. My pride? Nonexistent.
But then…
Something clicked.
On the next attempt, I moved.
SWOOSH!
A log missed me.
SWISH!
Another flew past my shoulder.
I dodged left—then right—then ducked.
Silence.
I stood there, chest heaving, arms wide, sweat dripping from every pore.
Not a single log touched me.
I ripped off the blindfold and collapsed onto the grass.
MC: "I… I did it."
My vision blurred. But my smile was bigger than ever.
MC: "I FRICKIN' DID IT! HAHAHAHA!"
I laughed like a madman. I looked up at the sky, feeling like I just punched God and won.
MC: "Hell yeah. I have haki. Freakin' HAKI, dude!"
I laid there as the sunrise painted the sky in orange and pink.
Beaten. Bruised. Starving.
But grinning like a man who just discovered he could dodge taxes and tree trunks.
You know what's great after almost dying, discovering you have haki, and spending all night dodging logs like a bootleg anime ninja? A hot shower and a fat nap.
It was Saturday. The holy day of sleeping until my body gave out from comfort. So I got into the shower, cranked the heat to "lava," and stood there like I was absorbing chakra from the steam.
Afterward, I threw on a T-shirt and shorts, face-planted into my bed, and let out a deep, tired sigh.
MC: "Ah yes… freedom."
(A/C: "He would know no peace.")
Minutes—literally MINUTES—into sleep, I felt something heavy on my chest. Like someone set a watermelon on me. A squishy, warm, heartbeat-having watermelon.
MC: "Please let this be a side effect of haki… please let this be a side effect of haki…"
I moved my hand cautiously and—
???: "Nnn…"
Oh no.
Oh God no.
My hand was touching something that should NOT be on my chest unless I had gone through a very drastic surgery.
I slowly peeled my eyes open like I was disarming a bomb.
And there she was.
Ruruko Nimura. The cheery little gremlin from Sona's peerage.
Sleeping. On top of me. Smiling.
MC: "Oh fuck."
She blinked open her big bubbly eyes and gave me a cheerful:
Ruruko: "Good morning!"
MC: "...Good morning?"
We just… stared at each other.
Like two confused cats in a staring contest over spilled water.
Finally, I managed to breathe.
MC: "Sooo… wanna explain how you're in my house, on top of me, and possibly crushing my ribs?"
She tilted her head like it was completely normal.
Ruruko: "I teleported! Miss Sona summoned us."
MC: "…You teleported… into my house. While I was asleep. And then laid on me."
Ruruko: "Yup!"
She grabbed my hand with a smile.
Before I could react—
WHOOSH.
A bright light swallowed us both as I realized I was standing on a teleportation circle.
MC: "WAIT NO I'M STILL IN MY PJ'S!!"
Next thing I know, we're in some fancy-ass chamber. Chandeliers. Velvet carpet. Honestly, if you told me Dracula lived here, I'd believe you.
And right in the middle?
Sona Shitori.
Looking like she owned 37 libraries and three galaxies. Cool, composed, glasses shining like she was about to send me into a chess-based shadow realm.
Sona: "Good morning."
MC: "Okay, that's the third time I've heard that today and it gets more terrifying each time."
Before I could ask if this was some high-class intervention, her Queen, Tsubaki, stepped forward like she was about to read me my rights.
Tsubaki: "Hey newbie. Show some respect. She is your King now."
MC (thinking): "Damn she's scary. But like… fine scary. Like 'step on me but please be gentle' scary."
MC (nervously): "Sorry, I didn't mean to offend anyone. I just woke up like… a minute ago. Still processing."
Sona smiled, which honestly made me more nervous.
Sona: "It's fine. I summoned you to test your strength. You'll be sparring with my right hand—Tsubaki."
MC: "…Y'all really woke me up, kidnapped me via magical Uber, just to beat me up?"
Before I could protest further, she snapped her fingers, and the fancy vampire castle room transformed into a gymnasium.
Just like that.
MC: "Bro what kind of DLC magic is this?!"
Ruruko let go of my hand and skipped backward like this was recess, not a potential death match.
Then I felt it.
That tingle.
Like my instincts were screaming: "DODGE, YOU FOOL!"
I tilted my head back just in time to see a blur of white swing past my nose.
MC: "OH SHIT—"
Tsubaki had just tried to KO me in the middle of a polite meeting. I stumbled back, heart pounding.
She stood there, unbothered, one hand casually raised.
Tsubaki: "This is a spar. You should be taking it seriously."
MC: "Lady I haven't even had breakfast yet!"
Sweat trickled down my temple.
MC (thinking): "Okay. I'm in my pajamas. I'm standing in a gym with a hot anime queen trying to kill me. And I still haven't figured out where the bathroom is in this place."
I dropped into a stance. Not because I knew what I was doing—but because if I was going down, I was going down looking cool.
MC: "Alright, scary lady. Let's dance. Just… don't break my face. It's all I've got."
Tsubaki raised her other hand and smiled for the first time.
That's when I knew.
I was gonna die.
Tsubaki stood across from me, calm and composed. She didn't need to shout, didn't need to posture. Her presence alone screamed danger.
Tsubaki: "Let's begin. Show me what you've got."
MC: "You asked for it."
I dashed forward, fists clenched. The floor cracked under my footstep as I launched toward her. My first punch was aimed straight at her midsection — simple, clean, efficient.
She stepped aside like it was nothing.
Tsubaki: " Too slow."
BOOM!
Her fist smashed into my chest. The air left my lungs in an instant.
MC: "Gkh—!"
Before I could recover—
CRACK!
Her spinning kick connected with my jaw. I was airborne.
I twisted mid-air, barely stabilizing myself with a flip. My boots dug into the floor as I skidded back, panting.
MC (grinning): "Damn… Alright then."
I slammed my fists together.
MC: "Let's take it up a notch."
Steam hissed from my shoulders. My skin glowed with a deep, heated red. Blood pumped like a motor.
MC: "GEAR SECOND!"
The room shook as I disappeared from sight.
BOOM!
I reappeared in front of her in a blink, launching a GUM GUM JET PISTOL straight at her face.
She dodged — barely.
But I was already behind her.
MC: "GUM GUM JET STAMP!"
My leg extended downward like a falling pillar. She crossed her arms and blocked, but it cracked the ground beneath her.
Tsubaki: "Good. Now you're moving."
She released her aura — thin blades of energy began to swirl around her. Her eyes glinted.
Tsubaki: "Let me show you speed."
We clashed in a blur.
Punch. Kick. Block. Counter.
She struck my side with a knife-hand blow, and I responded with a GUM GUM ROCKDD, a short-range, high-impact uppercut charged with my blood-pumped strength. It connected.
CRACK!
She flew back, hitting the wall. But she landed gracefully, wiping a trickle of blood from her lip.
Tsubaki (smiling): "Now that's more like it."
She launched at me again — blindingly fast.
I ducked, twisted, then shouted:
MC: "GUM GUM MACHINGUN!!"
My fists moved faster than the eye could see. A storm of rapid punches rained down on her — dozens, hundreds in seconds. She blocked and dodged with precision, but the sheer volume began to overwhelm her.
MC (grinning): "CAN'T KEEP UP?"
Tsubaki: "Watch your mouth!"
She dropped low and swept my legs. I flipped back, but she caught me mid-air with a strike to my stomach.
WHAM!
I hit the floor hard but bounced right back up, blood running from my lip.
Steam hissed again.
MC: "Alright then… try THIS!"
I crouched low and roared:
MC: "GUM GUM BURSUUUUKA!"
My arms inflated, supercharging with blood and steam. I slammed both fists into the floor. A shockwave exploded outward — the entire training floor rippled and cracked, forcing her to jump into the air.
She didn't expect what came next.
MC: "JET SPEAR!"
I launched myself like a missile mid-shockwave, arm cocked back. My fist struck her mid-air.
BOOOOOOM!
We both went flying — crashing into opposite walls.
Breathing hard, bleeding, sweating, we rose.
Tsubaki (smirking): "You're insane."
MC: "And you're scary."
She gave a small laugh.
Then she vanished.
Tsubaki: "Blade Step."
SLASH!
A line of red opened on my cheek.
I growled, spun, and launched a Jet Kick. She dodged and countered with a back elbow to my spine. I flew forward, rolled mid-air, and landed in a crouch.
I pressed my hand to the floor again.
MC: "Try dodging this…"
MC: "GUM GUM BURSUKA: GROUND STRIKE!"
CRACK!!
The floor exploded upward in a shockwave of debris. She leapt over it, but I launched myself through the dust, hitting her in the gut with another JET PISTOL, sending her flying into a steel support pillar.
Tsubaki: "Gkh…!"
Her eyes narrowed. She stood, now clearly winded. Her perfect uniform was torn, face slightly bruised.
She looked at me with genuine interest.
Tsubaki: "You're not normal. Not even close."
MC (panting, steam rising): "Guess I'm full of surprises."
We both charged again, screaming.
BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.
Each strike sounded like a cannon going off. The floor beneath us cracked, the air screamed, the very walls trembled.
I was running low on stamina. My body was overheating. But I wasn't done.
MC: "FINAL TECHNIQUE…"
I bit my thumb, spun once, and activated my trump card.
MC: "GUM GUM KING BURSUKA!"
Both fists surged with steam and red light. My blood vessels glowed. My whole body shimmered like a forged blade.
I charged. She did too.
We screamed.
Our fists collided in the center of the hall—
BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
A shockwave erupted, blowing back every object in the room. The walls cracked. The glass shattered. Smoke engulfed us.
Both of us stood at the center of the storm — fists locked.
Then suddenly—
THWACK!
A soft chop landed on my neck.
My entire body shut down.
MC: "Wha…?"
My vision blurred. My knees gave out.
I collapsed, steam still hissing from my body.
MC (weakly): "Dammit… I was…so close…"
Standing behind me, calm as a winter breeze—
Sona Shitori.
Her hand still raised from the strike.
Sona: "That's enough."
Tsubaki stopped, breathing hard, her hand just inches from another punch.
Tsubaki: "President…?"
Sona: "He proved his point. He passed."
She stepped closer to me as I lay on the ground, eyes fluttering shut.
She knelt beside me, brushing the sweat from my face. Her fingers were cool.
Sona (softly): "You're quite the weapon… I'll enjoy polishing you into a blade."
Ruruko ran over, wide-eyed.
Ruruko: "HE WAS GLOWING! I thought the building was gonna explode!"
Tsubaki smiled faintly, rubbing her bruised knuckles.
Tsubaki: "He's something else."
Sona (whispering): "My crimson tempest… Welcome to my army."
As unconsciousness finally claimed me, the only thing I felt…
…was pride..