MC:"Ugh... again?"
I groaned as I woke up—again. Like bruh, how many times do I have to get knocked out before someone just straps a helmet on me permanently?
I sat up, rubbed my head, and immediately noticed the breeze. Downstairs.
MC:"…Why is it im always naked, man?!"
Sure enough, I was shirtless. Was this an isekai thing? Like, do I need to be striped when I'm healed?
A calm but slightly amused voice cut through my panic.
Momo Hanakai:"I see you're finally awake."
I turned. And hallelujah, that was not a bad sight to wake up to. Violet hair, stunning face, and legs for days. Momo Hanakai, one of the most composed, savage ladies at Kuoh. And me? The guy with a breeze on his balls.
MC:"Uh… hi?"
She casually sipped her tea, like my exposed situation was just Tuesday.
Momo:"President Sona had important matters to attend to. So I took it upon myself to heal you."
MC: "Thanks, I guess?"
She gave a small smile.
Momo: "You're welcome."
I stood up and immediately noticed her eyes drift south. Her brow raised.
Momo:"Well, I must say… for a first-year, you're very well-packed."
My soul left my body.
MC:"HUH?!"
I looked down—and dear Lucifer, my meat sword was out in the open, full Excalibur mode.
Face turning red, I dove behind the couch and grabbed a blanket.
MC:"I-I apologize!"
She giggled, actually giggled.
Momo(Smiling):"It's fine."
I started to cry a bit, now who would take me as there bride:(.
She pointed to my clothes folded neatly on a table to the left. I scrambled into them like my life depended on it. Once decently dressed, I walked out and found Momo sitting alone, sipping tea like nothing happened.
Momo:"Good. Now you can leave. Oh—and here."
She handed me a black-and-red jacket.
MC:"Huh?"
Momo:"That's the student council uniform. You're one of us now. Congrats. Try not to set anything on fire."
She smiled. I nodded, still mildly traumatized, and left.
A few weeks passed. Being on the student council surprised everyone. Whispers flooded the halls.
"Wait, him? Isn't he the dude who fought a vending machine once?"
MC(Thinking):"Hells ya I did, that son of a bitch ate my money and didn't give me my drink."
"Didn't he get knocked out by a book?"
MC(Thinking)" I did get hit by a book not knocked out tho?"
"I heard he beat up people for fun with nothing but a pencil."
MC(Thinking):"Ok that one was a lie when did I ever do that??!"
I didn't care. My job? Chill, avoid dying, and learning luffy moves.
Only weird thing? Kiba started being extra friendly. Like, "Here bro, I brought you water" friendly. I half expected him to offer a massage next.
Anyway, that afternoon, I saw Issei sprint out of school like someone said Rias was giving out lap pillows. So, yeah, I figured they hit him with the good ol' devil reveal.
A few days passed. Nothing major. I spent most of my time doing stretches, being suspiciously ignored by Rias's crew, and eating spicy ramen. Then came the day.
I was walking through the city, mumbling to myself about how expensive Takoyaki had gotten, when—
Scream.
I stopped. Church. That's where it came from.
MC:Great. Nothing bad ever happens near a creepy church in a demon anime."
But curiosity (and anime logic) pushed me forward. As I stepped closer—
BOOM! Instant migraine.
MC:"OW, okay! Message received, God hates Devils. Got it."
I entered anyway. The air reeked of blood and holy ego. The moment I turned the corner, my eyes locked onto a mess:
Issei, on the ground.
A girl—Asia, I remembered—pinned to the wall.
Her dress? Torn. Her face? Wet with tears.
And the bastard behind it all? Freed Sellzen. The edgiest priest to ever flunk out of therapy.
He was doing that whole anime villain monologue thing.
Freed:"Oh, how I love making you little devils squirm! Haha! Look at you, How can you be the Red Dragon Emperor! Your crying on the floor like a child!"
Issei was trying to get up, bloodied and groaning.
Issei:"You… You bastard… She… She did nothing to you!"
Freed:"Oh please! She's just a cute little nun who played with the wrong toys. Now she's broken."
That was enough for me.
SMACK!
My right hook slammed into his smug face like divine retribution.
He hit the floor, groaning.
Asia gasped. Issei stared at me, stunned.
Issei"Huh?!"
As Freed struggled to get up issei looked
at me and said.
Issei:"W-who are you!?"
I cracked my knuckles and turn to him with a smile.
MC:"Just a dude here to help you not suck. Call me your new homie."
Freed stood up, wobbling. Like a creepy clown.
Freed:"You bastard! That actually hurt!"
MC:"Yeah. That was the point, Sherlock."
He lunged. I sidestepped, then side swiped him, as he was fulling i punched him then grabbed and throw him.
Frees:"UGH."
He spat blood then I grabbed him by the neck and pinned him to the wall.
MC:"Sicko."
My fist pulled back, ready to end this creep's anime arc. He screamed. A flash of light burst from his body. I stumbled, blinded, but instinct kicked in. As I dodged to the left.
I ducked just in time to avoid a holy blade.
As my vision returned, I saw him standing next to Asia, grinning like a cracked-out Joker.
Freed:"You're a fast one, huh? But sorry to cut our fun short. It's time for me to bounce!"
A teleportation circle glowed beneath them.
Issei:"ASIAAAAAA!!"
The ground beneath me cracked as I lunged, fist forward.
MC:"YOU'RE NOT TAKING HER, YOU MF!"
But I was too slow. My fist hit the wall destroying it.
They vanished.
I clenched my jaw.
MC:"Dammit."
Then the red glow appeared. When i saw that i jumped and hid, it was Rias. She grabbed Issei and poofed them both out of there like a red-haired magician.
I came out of hiding and I just… stood there.
MC:"Shit…"
That night, I flopped onto my bed like a failed protagonist. Pillow? Face. Mood? Brooding.
Next day, school flew by like a filler episode. I packed my stuff, ready to head to the council room. But then—
"HEY!"
I turned. To see who it was that was calling me. It was issei
He had a serious face. Like, not pervy. Actual serious. That was new.
And then—he bowed.
Issei:"PLEASE! HELP ME SAVE ASIA!!"
He was trembling.
I blinked.
So, Rias said she wouldn't help him huh. He was desperate. And the only one who threw hands for him? Me.
I looked into his eyes. They were burning.
MC:"..."
Our eyes locked.
I sighed.
I grinned.
MC:"Sure why not I ain't got noting better to do, might be fun."
As I said that issei eyes lit up as he ran and hugged me.
Issei:"THANK YOU SO MUCH DUDE."
I smiled this was my chance to make him into the ideal MAIN CHARACTER.