Anaya finally reached into the metro station and bought a ticket, don't know where her destination is.. what i mean to say is we don't know where she want to go to. We have to wait until she reached the final stop.
Then, Anaya calmly sat on the iron table. And then she just waiting for her metro.
The time is already 10 'o' in the morning. Some strange sounds like, "gurl.. gurl.." were heared. Seems the sounds are from Anaya's stomach. Anaya touched her stomach and finally come to her sences that she had not eat from yesterday's morning. Then, Anaya standedup from the iron table and moved forward. Finally, she bought some bread and a bottle of water from a small stall tucked into a corner of the metro station. She didn't want anything elaborate. Just something to fill the emptiness in her stomach that had mirrored the hollowness inside her heart. Shereturned and sat on that bench and slowly ate, her gaze drifting toward the tracks.
The metro came and went but its arrival a loud blur, its departure a fleeting whoosh. People passed by, couples chatting softly, some girls with their backpacks maybe they are going to hang out. In working days, the station is filled with crowds of people like some are office-goers hurrying with purpose. and students are for their colleges. But, today its sunday. Anaya felt relieved. But, She felt like she was floating inside a bubble detached from time, disconnected from everything.
Ahe had finished her bread. And after a while, she just sat there, observing. The noise, the announcements, the chattering voices. All of it felt distant.
But eventually, she stood up.
Like she had somewhere to go.
And tucked her backpack on her shoulders. Like she is going to somewhere away from everything but to a familiar place that she can tell that she can be belonged here.
Anaya took a deep breath and stepped into the metro.
It wasn't crowded how it is used to be working days at this early hour. Anaya found a seat by the window and sat silently, holding her backpack close to her chest. As the train began to move, she leaned her forehead against the glass. The coldness of it felt grounding.
The metro passed through stations with names she barely registered. Everything felt like a blur. Her thoughts were far away like somewhere between the terrace she had left behind and the uncertain destination she was now heading toward.
Anaya tried her best not to think about last night. Not about the way her chest had ached or the way her voice had cracked when no one was around to hear it.
Instead, she focused on the rhythm of the train.
The brief darkness of tunnels.
The lives of strangers flashing by.
She finally reached the last metro stop and exited, walking slowly through the wide corridors of the metro station. And finally made her way out of the metro station and walked forward for a while. Anaya reached to the railway station. Then, she slowly made her way into the railway station. The time shows, 2 'o' clock in the afternoon. The place was bustling. The sound of trolley wheels, echoing announcements, vendors calling out for tea and samosas. Those are all created a chaotic harmony that strangely comforted her.
"Woah! So many days passed. Finally I'm here to see you." Anaya whispered herself.
She continued, "oh! You don't know.. roght? Its just my habit that I don't know but i like not only train journey but also trains and railway station as well.
Anaya bought a platform ticket and made her way to the waiting area. After a moment of hesitation, she checked the PNR on her phone and walked toward the booking counter. There was a long queue, but Anaya didn't mind. Waiting gave her time to think. To just… exist, quietly.
After getting her reserved seat confirmed, she walked toward her platform.
The train was already there.
Still. Silent. Like waiting for the passenger to hope on.
She stood in front of it for a moment, almost as if asking permission to board. As if this wasn't just a train, but a turning point. A departure to somewhere, where everything she had known. In this outer world does she really got a place of her.
As she stepped inside, she pulled her backpack tightly around her. The compartment was relatively empty. A few families. A couple sitting quietly. A group of boys laughing loudly, already sharing snacks.
As she walking farward while watching for her seat. Her eyes were moving around to found her seat. Finally, she found her seat and sat down by the window.
Placing her bag beside her, and she let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding.
The moment she sat down, her body relaxed in a way it hadn't in days. Maybe it was the soft rocking of the train. Or maybe its becoz the train journey is what she liked that made her like she had finally moved. Finally stepped away from the situation that had become too heavy to bear.
As the minutes passed, vendors came through the aisles.
"Chips, biscuits, water bottle, chai, popcorn…"
Anaya bought a packet of chips, a small bag of puffed rice, and two bottles of water. She didn't really feel hungry anymore, but holding food in her hand was a way to feel normal.
She glanced outside the window.
The sky had fully embraced the day now. A warm sunlight kissed the metal rooftops and tracks. Sparrows fluttered near the electric wires, and somewhere in the distance, a station bell rang.
She placed her food beside her bag and leaned back in her seat.
This was it...
We didn't know what would come next. Where this journey would take her. Even for emotionally or for physically.
But she was on her way.
No more standing still for hoping on those stinky emotions that she had made herself.
Her hands trembled slightly as she reached into her bag, pulling out a scarf. She wrapped it around her shoulders and looked outside one more time.
Then, a sound of whistle blew had occurred..
There was a slight jolt..
And then the train began to move...
Anaya's fingers hovered over towards her phone for a moment, reaching out from the scarf that cocooned her. But halfway there, she pulled her hand back with a faint, defeated sigh.
"What's the use of looking into it?" Anaya murmured to herself, eyes fixed on the ceiling of the train. "No one's going to call or msg me. No one ever does."
The campartment was quiet, the kind of silence that wraps around your chest and sinks in. Just then, a sudden ding broke through the air, a her message tone.
Her heart jumped...
In a flash, she grabbed her phone with trembling fingers, a small flicker of hope lighting up her eyes. Maybe… just maybe...
But as the screen lit up, her smile faded as quickly as it had come. It was just a promotional message from some company she didn't even remember subscribing to.
Her lips pressed into a thin line.
She stared at the screen for a moment longer, then let it fall beside her on the seat. Turning her head away, she whispered herself again, a little more bitterly this time, "I told you… what's the use?"
She curled tighter into herself as if trying to shrink away from the sting in her chest.
"How could I even think of someone would notice I'm gone?" Anaya's voice was soft and cracked now. "They're probably relieved. Like… 'Hmm, it's finally peaceful now.'"
A pause. Then a half-hearted, tearless smile as she blinked slowly at nothing in particular.
"Maybe I really am just a burden to them."
She inhaled shakily and turned her back to the phone as if to turn it off to its silence. "Good," she whispered. "It's good not to be with those."
Then,she just looked ahead out of the train, toward the tracks that are stretching into the horizon of the vastness.