The train was moving. Not just through space, but through time, through thoughts, through memories, through emotions. too heavy for describing in words.
Anaya sat by the window, her head leaning slightly against the glass. The soft hum of the train soothed her like a lullaby. The vibrations beneath her feet, the occasional whistle, the slow clattering of metal against metal—it all formed a rhythm. A quiet rhythm that didn't rush her. A rhythm that allowed her simply… to be herself.
Outside, the sky was already changing. It was around 5 'o'clock in the evening, the clouds were heavy and grey. But, changes it color into the golden yellow, when the sun peeked through them like a shy child hiding behind a curtain. The world was slowly dipping into twilight, even though the clock hadn't caught up yet.
The landscape blurred past her window. Trees. Fields. Small towns. Electric poles standing like quiet soldiers, one after another. Sometimes, she saw children playing near the tracks, waving at the train as it sped by. She didn't wave back, but she watched. Each little scene felt like a painting like the one that she could never step into but could only carry in her memory.
She reached into her bag and pulled out her earphones. They were slightly tangled, like her thoughts. She patiently untied them, then plugged them into her phone. With a few taps, she selected a playlist, the one which is filled with soft piano pieces, violin melodies, and instrumental covers of old songs.
The music floated into her ears and wrapped around her like a blanket.
She closed her eyes for a moment.
And let her go herself in the ocean of music.
To let go of the sharp ache in her chest.
To let go of the questions that had no answers.
To let go of the need to explain her sadness to anyone.
She just lstening to the music. And let her dive into it.
The violin music played softly in her ears, its notes like tear drops falling slowly onto paper.
Anaya opened her eyes and watched the sky again.
The clouds had thickened, turning the sky a deeper shade of grey. Somewhere in the distance, a bird flew alone, its wings slicing through the sky like a quiet resolve. The train passed over a small bridge, and she saw the reflection of the sky in the still river below. It looked like the sky was falling into itself.
A voice came through the speakers, "announcing the next station."
Anaya didn't register the name.
Because it doesn't matter to her.
Becoz, she wasn't getting off.
This was not a journey to a place. It was a journey away from pain, from pressure, from the invisible cage she hadn't even realized she was living in until it became too much to bear.
She opened her packet of chips and ate a few, slowly. She wasn't hungry. But, eating made her feel better.becoz, she just wanted to feel normal. Like she was still connected to the world of the living.
As she chewed, her eyes drifted to the passengers around her.
A young couple was sitting across the aisle. The girl had her head on the boy's shoulder, both of them sharing one pair of earphones. Occasionally, he'd smile and tap her forehead playfully, and she'd roll her eyes and smile back. It was a quiet kind of love. The kind Anaya had never known. The kind that didn't require loud declarations or constant messaging. But just presence.
Anaya looked away...
Not out of jealousy. Just... with an ache.
She didn't think she'd ever have that. Not because she didn't deserve it, but because love felt like something that belonged to another world. A world louder, and more open. A world where people spoke their hearts without the fear of being misunderstood.
She watched an old man walk slowly down the aisle with a bouquet of artificial roses in his hand. He wasn't selling them, though. He just carried them like a memory like a gift waiting to be given, or perhaps one that had never reached its destination.
Their eyes met for a brief second. He smiled at Anaya.
Anaya blinked away...
And then he walked past.
She put her packet of chips aside and leaned back into her seat again.
The music changed. A soft piano version of an old Chinese ballad began to play. She didn't understand the lyrics, but she had listened to it so many times that the emotions had translated themselves.
It was a song about goodbye.
About the things you couldn't say, and the love that lingered anyway.
Anaya closed her eyes again.
Memories came in quiet fragments in her mind.
Of her terrace. Of the wind brushing past her face as she cried under the moonlight.
Of her roommate's quiet concern.
Of the moment she had made the decision to take a leave without any word with them not just physically, but emotionally.
To step out of everything for a while.
She wasn't running away.
She was searching for something that can make her relieve from the pain.
For returning to a silence life that she once had...
For a little corner of the world where no one expected her to be anything.
Where she could stop pretending she was okay.
She opened her eyes as a sudden streak of light broke through the clouds. The sun was setting now with its golden rays filtering through the grey sky like threads of warmth in a cold blanket.
The fields outside looked bathed in honey.
The train whistled again...
Another station passed....
The sky turned a deeper blue, and the clouds slowly faded into violet.
Night was coming...
Anaya could see the moon now, shyly rising in the east. It looked like it was watching her too quiet, distant, gentle.
And for a moment, Anaya smiled...
Not because anything was fixed.
Not because the pain was gone.
But because the world was still beautiful.
Even in sadness...
Even in silence...
She wrapped her scarf around herself a little tighter as the temperature dropped.
Then, Anaya slept with quietness of moonlight in the starry night..