The night of tears had turned into shooting stars. The sky was no longer the dark canvas of sorrow that had wrapped around Anaya the night before. Instead, it was soft, glowing drenched in shades of amber and gold. The early morning sun peeked over the horizon like a silent witness, as if offering her a quiet apology on behalf of the night.
As the morning sunlight slowly placed over on Anaya's face. She slowly opened her eyes while rubbing them with her hands. Her face is turned like a fluffy fish after an all night of crying. Her face and eyes were also swollen like a fluffy fish. The images around her were blurred to her eyes. Finally, Anaya again sat curled against the cold terrace wall, her arms again were still wrapped tightly around herself. Her cheeks were dry now, but the evidence of her tears still clung to her eyelashes. Her eyes were swollen, her body numb. Her backpack sat beside her like a quiet companion that had waited all night.
The pain inside her chest was still there. A heavy ache that came and went in waves. But with the first warmth of the sun on her skin, something inside her began to shift but not healed, not yet.. but soften her soul.
All night she had cried. Not for Vicky. Not just for Rose. But for something deeper. Maybe for herself or for those things.
For the girl who never spoke her feelings out loud. For the girl who watched the world from behind a curtain of fear and self-doubt. For the girl who had dared to dream something so fragile in a heart still learning how to trust.
And now, she realized something.
Maybe it was all just… a mistake.
Like she had been misunderstood everything.
Vicky's kindness. His teasing. His glances. The way he pulled her into conversations when she wanted to stay quiet. Maybe it had all just been the natural warmth of a boy who didn't know how much it meant to her. Who didn't see how carefully she had been stitching a new version of herself like a thread by thread to because of how gently he had treated her.
She pressed her forehead against her knees, taking a long breath in.
She felt raw. Empty. Like she had poured her soul into a cup and then spilled it all on the ground.
But there was something else, too.
A strange clarity.
In that silence, with no one around to watch or question her, Anaya whispered to herself, "It's okay."
Not because everything was fine.
But because she would be fine.
Eventually.
As the sunlight touched her fingers. She opened her palm and let it sit there, as if holding the morning itself.
Her mind drifted to her room, just a few steps down away. Her bed. Her pillow. Her roommates, still probably asleep. The comfort of the familiar which is not meant for her.
so she didn't want to go back in.
Not yet.
or maybe not while the sadness still sat on her face like a bruise.
So, without a sound, she reached for her backpack. Her movements were slow, deliberate. She slung it over one shoulder and stood up, legs slightly trembling after placing in the one place for so long.
She didn't look back at the terrace.
Didn't say goodbye to the version of herself that had broken there last night.
She simply walked away.
Down the stairs, her fingers gliding along the railing. Past the notice boards. Past the hostel warden's room. The guard at the gate barely looked up as she passed. like just another girl going out early.
But to Anaya, this walk was something more.
It was her way of stepping out of everything...
or maybe she just wanted to go out for a walk to refresh her self. But, she don't know herself where she is going?
The road outside the hostel was calm. Just a few joggers. An old man pushing a cart of parcels. Some girls walking in silence in the way of library. probably heading to the library.
The world hadn't stopped.
No one knew that someone's heart had shattered just a few hours ago.
And that, strangely, made her feel less alone.
Again she kept walking, not sure where she was going.
The city around her was just beginning to wake.
Anaya ended up near the lake inside the campus grounds. It was a quiet place, tucked behind the old engineering building. Students rarely came here in the early morning.
She found a stone bench and sat down.
The water shimmered with the rising sun, and birds flew low across the surface.
For a while, Anaya just sat. Watching.
Breathing....
Listening...
The wind blew strands of her hair across her face. She didn't bother to fix it.
She didn't need to.
She was finally letting herself feel everything and tried not hide from it.
The disappointment. The ache. The jealousy. The loss. The embarrassment.
And beneath all that, something else or maybe something older.
A sadness she had carried for years. From before Vicky. From before university like from her past.
From all the times she had been afraid to speak, to reach out, to trust.
This wasn't just about him.
Maybe this was about her past things.
Her silent battles in the darkness.
Her wish for someone to see her, to love her, to pamper her..
Tears welled in her eyes again, but this time, they didn't fall.
She blinked them away and whispered again, "It's okay."
An hour passed...
Then another...
The lake remained still.
Eventually, Anaya reached for her notebook from her bag. It was the one she used for her personal writings. Not assignments. Not class notes.
Just… her thoughts.
She flipped to a blank page and wanted to write something, but feels like out of space in her thoughts.
She closed the notebook and stood up.
Anaya wanted to go to her hostel room, like for picking up something. she finally on her way to the hostel. as she walked slowly, the world around her now fully bathed in sunlight. The campus was beginning to stir with distant voices, footsteps, the clatter of someone dragging a chair. But the corridor still felt like a different world. Quiet. Still heavy with sleep.
She pushed to open the door to her room with care, letting it creak softly instead of crash. The air inside was faintly warm, filled with the scent of worn books, shampoo, and the faded lavender spray they sometimes used on their pillows.
It was eight in the morning, but the room was still dim. Curtains drawn. Fan spinning lazily above.
Her roommates were still asleep.
Anaya whispered herself, "oh! its sunday."
Rose lay on her bed, curled up like a child. Even in sleep, her face was calm glowing with something innocent and bright. Her arms were wrapped tightly around her pillow, and she smiled unconsciously, like she was dreaming of something sweet. Maybe love. Maybe the boy whose name Anaya hadn't yet confessed to them.
For a moment, Anaya just stood there and watched her. Not with envy. Not anymore.
But with quiet acceptance...
A faint smile touched her lips.
She moved softly across the room, the floor cool against her feet. She didn't wake them.
Instead, she set her backpack down on the chair beside her desk and began taking out a few things—her toothbrush, a comb, a pair of folded jeans, and some tops and a long dress with delicate embroidery at the collar. It was the dress she always wore when she needed to feel safe, almost like armor stitched out of memory and comfort. becoz, it is the only dress her dad had brought for her.
She freshened up quietly in the washroom, washed her face, and combed her hair back into a simple ponytail.
When she returned, the others still hadn't stirred.
She slipped into her clothes without making a sound, then slung her backpack over her shoulder again maybe this time lighter. She paused once more before leaving, eyes settling on Rose.
Still smiling...
Still dreaming...
Anaya gently closed the door behind her.
The sun had climbed higher by the time she stepped out again. The warmth on her back felt reassuring. She didn't walk fast. There was no need to rush.
She made her way down the hostel steps, past the notice board, past sleepy first-years yawning in the hallway, past the vending machine that still blinked out-of-order.
And then out.
Into the open.
The city's pulse was picking up now cars, honks, snippets of conversations in every direction.
She turned right at the main gate and crossed the road with practiced ease. Her feet moved toward the metro station, each step light, certain, as if pulled by a quiet instinct.
This time, there was no hesitation.
No questioning.
Just a quiet rhythm in her heart, like a melody that was finally beginning to hum again after a long silence.
the city is bustled with vehicles sounds..
Anaya's feet instinctively following the same path they had taken countless times before. but, today felt different. finally she reached the metro station after a ten minute walk from the hostel.
she paused at the stairs leading down into the station.
for a second, she looked back.
but not towards the hostel, but towards the sky. it was a soft blue now, with a few feathery clouds drifting like daydreams. she let her eyes close briefly, breathing in the city's pulse. but, its not perfect and also not peaceful at all.
but in real, she was part of it, whether she believed it or not.
slowly, she ascended those steps and made her way into the metro staion.