★--[Scene — 7:42 AM | Rooftop, Department Building]--★
[One week later]
I stand on the rooftop of our department building.
Hands in my pockets, hoodie up, pretending the wind makes me look cooler than I really am.
Above me: a sky of slow-moving clouds.
Below me: the chaos of the city.
Behind me: a department full of overachievers, heartbreaks, and budget coffee.
I tilt my head slightly. Eyes locked on a lone bird cutting through the sky like it owes someone money.
Inner monologue:
"I wish I were a bird too. They get freedom. They fly wherever. No taxes. No emotional baggage.
Tanggap kahit maikli lang ang buhay..."
But then again—
I don't want wings. What if I hit a powerline? Or worse… end up pooping mid-air on someone's thesis paper.
Not the legacy I want.
I sigh.
It's been a week since that mess.
A week of pretending I was fine.
A week of overthinking, under-sleeping, and emotionally eating noodles like it's a coping mechanism.
Some nights, I dream of flying.
Other nights… I just want to disappear.
---
suddenly.
"Hello, Ryan."
It was her.
Rachel.
I didn't flinch. Just activated my most expensive fake smile—
The one that says, "I'm okay," even if my soul is face-down on the floor.
"Hello, Rachel."
I looked back up at the bird. Still flying like rent was due in heaven.
She followed my gaze, squinting at the sky like she was expecting subtitles.
Rachel:"Why are you staring at that bird?"
Me:"No… nothing. Just thinking."
Then I added—because my mouth has a mind of its own—
"Maybe it's my ancestor. Coming back to check kung bumagsak ako ulit sa buhay."
She laughed. That same gentle laugh I used to memorize.
Then she gently slapped my arm like I was her favorite punchline.
"You're so funny, idiot."
But her smile paused. Just for a second.
Like there was concern hiding behind it.
"You can call me idiot all by yourself. Wala nang pila."
Her eyes studied me.
Like she wanted to say something deeper.
But maybe the rooftop air made it harder to speak real feelings.
---
Scene — 9:17 PM | Ryan's Apartment
I walked back into my apartment.
Quiet. Dim. Smelled like cup noodles and unprocessed trauma.
Dropped my bag. Sat on the edge of the bed. Shoes still on.
Stared at nothing for a while.
My mind's been spinning lately—like a browser with 32 tabs open, but nothing loading.
Inner monologue:
"What do I really want?"
Revenge?
Sure. At first. That fire kept me alive.
But even if I get revenge… Even if I scam the scammers, hack the hackers, punch karma right in the throat—
Will it fix Mom?
Will it make her hug me again and know who I am?
Silence.
No.
She won't magically heal.
But maybe...
Just maybe...
I can still make her laugh.
Make her feel human again.
Safe. Loved.
Even if she forgets me every five minutes.
Before I'm gone, I just want to see her smile.
Not because of medicine.
Not because of pity.
But because… I tried.
---
While I was crying silently in my apartment like a rejected soap opera actor...
Ring.
My phone lit up.
Rachel. Inviting me to hang out.
I wiped my face like a man in denial.
Stood up. Took a bath like I was washing the sadness off my skin.
Faced the mirror.
Put on my customized smile—version 7.3.1.
Now with extra fake confidence.
---
[Back at the rooftop again.]
She was already there, looking up—scanning the clouds like she was trying to find a cheat code to life.
Maybe she was searching for a hole in the sky. Or maybe... the Milky Way forgot to RSVP.
I stepped closer and cleared my throat. Just once. Subtle cough of entry.
Rachel slowly turned to me—eyes scanning my face like there was dirt on it.
Slow motion. Camera pans in. Rom-com lighting on max.
This felt like the Top 1 drama on Earth.
I panicked. Smiled. Distracted the moment.
"Hey. What's now? You gonna arrest me for overthinking again?"
(Humor. Defense mechanism. Trademark Hawkins.)
She laughed lightly and handed me a bottle of soju.
"Do you remember that day? Yung kinarga mo yung random guy sa tapat ng bahay niyo?"
"Yeah—yes. Hella disgusting. Still smells like regret."
We both chuckled.
Then her face softened.
A little more serious.
"And do you remember… chapter five ago… the day I called you. That 'Hey, idiot' moment?."
I nodded, trying not to let the scene get too K-drama. But it already was.
"After that… I didn't see you. Three years passed. And now that I do—I see it."
She looked directly at me now.
Past my expensive fake smile.
"I didn't notice it before…
But now I do."
Pause.
"There's pain behind your smile."
"Yeah... but I guess I need to endure that pain."
(Smile. Shrug. Still holding the weight.)
"I mean… if I can still fake a smile while carrying emotional garbage, maybe I'm strong enough to carry one more thing—hope."
I looked at her. No jokes this time.
"I need mom to be happy.
I just… I want to see her smile again.
Just once. Yung totoo.
Not because someone told her to.
Not because of medicine.
Just… her. Smiling. Like she used to."
Pause.
I chuckled—voice shaky, eyes glassy.
"I know I'm slowly disappearing.
Parang free trial ng life—may countdown na.
But I don't wanna leave without a ticket to that smile."
Then I looked at Rachel.
Eyes softer. Voice lower.
"Even you… I want you to be happy. Promise me that, okay?"
I smiled again.
This time, the smile was a little broken—like a cracked phone screen trying to work anyway.
Rachel teared up.
"Ryan… you're such an idiot."
I grinned, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand.
"Yeah, well… I'm your idiot now."
She laughed. Cried. Slapped my arm again.
And for that moment, under a sky with no Milky Way, with cheap soju and broken souls—
We were okay.
Even if everything was falling apart.
---
Quote:
Even the fakest smile you wear…
Can't hide the truth inside for too long.
[Thank you for reading, Godbless]
---