Diary Entry #0003
Date: Somewhere between hope and another bad idea.
They say third time's the charm.
But me? I still don't know if I'm lucky…
…or just getting better at surviving nonsense.
— Ryan H.
**✶✶✶[ Morning]✶✶*
*Haahhhhhh~* (lazy breathy yawn)
I woke up with mud in my socks, a mild headache, and the overwhelming realization that my "revenge plan" had the same success rate as a romantic confession in a group chat.
No computer.
No money.
No hope.
Just me…
My 10% battery life…
And 3% remaining pride.
> "Well, I can work with that."
So I sat on the edge of my bed like some war veteran of failed heists.
Opened my phone.
And typed:
tktktk... tk-tk-tk... brp... freeze... tik tik...
> "How to get back at a scammer without getting scammed again?"
"DIY hacking for people with C+ grades in math."
"Top 10 ways to go viral while exposing fraud — #7 will shock you."
I was deep in the digital trenches now.
Fighting off pop-ups that said things like:
> "Meet your wife in 10 minutes."
"Your crush has been watching you!"
"Click here for free confidence and a cursed laptop."
And then…
I saw it.
An actual website.
Official seal. Government font.
Name so dramatic it sounded made-up:
> "Philippine Anti-Scammer Department"
I blinked.
Refreshed the page.
Still there.
Real.
> "Bro... I literally dreamed this in Chapter 1. This is a delulu dream come true."
Cue emotional montage music.
I grabbed my best hoodie, sprayed on three spritz of ambition-scented cologne, looked in the mirror, and whispered:
> "This is it, Ryan. Your anti-hero arc starts now."
Boom. Chuckle.
Confidence level: over 9,000.
**✶✶✶[ The Department]✶✶*
*Thunk!*
I stepped through the glass doors with my most confident self.
> "Hi po!"
"Hello po!"
"Wow ang lamig dito… parang aircon ng mayaman."
I smiled at every employee I passed like I was running for mayor.
Most of them stared back like:
> "Sino 'tong baliw na 'to?"
And then I saw her.
The girl.
Long black hair.
ID badge swinging.
Eyes sharper than tuition fees.
Aura glowing like a K-drama plot twist.
I froze mid-step.
Eyes wide.
Brain? Lagging.
> "She's... beautiful."
"Is this what love at first glitch feels like?"
She walked straight toward me.
Waved.
Tilted her head and squinted—like she was scanning me for viruses.
> Rachel: "Oi. Baliw ka ba? Sinapian ka ba?"
I blinked. Panicked.
> Me (scrambling): "H-ha? Sorry… by the way, I'm Ryan. Ryan Hawkins. Haha…"
(internally screaming)
"Smooth like expired peanut butter."
> Rachel (deadpan): "Rachel. Rachel Muta."
> Me (choking on air): "Wha—what? Are you a… hmm? Muta-aah? I mean… nice to meet you."
She just stared.
I waved goodbye awkwardly, muttered:
> "Weird name… but I like it."
**✶✶✶[ Directors Office]✶✶*
*Creeeaaak...*
The door slid open like a villain's lair in a B-movie.
Inside was a man spinning slowly on a rotating chair.
Classic final boss entrance.
> Director (gruff): "Hmm. Good morning, kiddo. What are you doing here? Baka hinahanap ka na ng nanay mo?"
I stepped forward with pride.
> Me: "Wala po si Mama. Nasa abroad siya… nagbibilang ng stars."
> Director: "What?"
> Me (serious): "She's at a mental facility, sir."
(smiles like it's normal)
Awkward silence.
> Director: "...Okay. So bakit ka nandito?"
> Me: "I want to join your agency."
> Director: "You sure? Do you even have a degree?"
I smirked.
> Me: "Yes, sir. Sinukat ko 'yung temperature kagabi."
> Director: "…I meant college degree, not thermometer."
Another awkward pause.
> Director (sighing): "You need a degree, boy."
And just like that—
I stood frozen like a low-poly statue in Luneta Park.
> "So… that's how rejection feels."
**✶✶✶[ Room night]✶✶*
I sat on my bed, ceiling-gazing again.
> Me: "Okay. Time to study."
I opened a book I didn't even remember owning.
Title?
> "How to Not Be a Disappointment Vol. 1"
Chapter One: Don't flirt with girls named Rachel Muta like an idiot.
Then, immediately fell asleep like a potato with dreams.
****End of day 3
[Thank you, for reading, God bless]
> "I may not have a plan… or a computer… or dignity—but I have WiFi and questionable confidence. And that's a start."
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