Chapter 37: I'm So Embarrassed
I kept my expression carefully neutral, but inside? Full-blown panic mode.
Sure, I'd just dropkicked a Mist ninja into unconsciousness and probably looked like the most badass proctor in Chunin Exam history. But the cold, hard truth was that there were still dozens of candidates in that room, and some of them—like that shark-faced kid Hoshigaki Kisame—were about as "genin-level" as I was "mild-mannered."
If they decided to rush me all at once, I'd be screwed. My little display of authority only worked because they still had functioning brain cells and a healthy respect for Konoha's potential retaliation. Mass assault on an examiner would be a diplomatic incident that even the Mist Village couldn't talk their way out of.
Thank god for international politics.
Someone dragged away my unconscious friend, and right on cue, Nara Chuichi appeared in the doorway. The look he gave me was unreadable, but the "come here" gesture was crystal clear.
I hunched my shoulders and slunk out like a scolded kid. Great. Here comes the lecture about "excessive force" and "maintaining professional standards."
"Qifeng, well done."
Wait, what?
I blinked. That... wasn't what I was expecting.
"We can be polite and courteous to ninja from other villages," Nara continued, "but that doesn't mean Konoha is weak or easy to push around. You handled that perfectly."
Oh. OH. This was about projecting strength, not academic integrity. The Chunin Exams weren't really about finding the best genin—they were about showing off. Konoha's way of saying "look how strong our kids are, imagine how strong our adults must be."
And here I'd thought I was just being petty.
"It's what anyone would do," I said, trying to sound humble while internally doing victory laps.
The best part? Nobody seemed to think there was anything unusual about me one-shotting that Mist ninja. Chunin beats genin, news at eleven. The rank difference was explanation enough, which meant my actual capabilities remained nicely under wraps.
Good. The last thing I needed was more attention. Orochimaru was already more interested in me than I'd like, and adding the Hokage, Danzo, or any of the clan heads to that list would turn my quiet life into a political nightmare. Those power games were exhausting just to think about.
Let the old guys play their chess matches. I'd stick to being a useful pawn.
Nara glanced around, then leaned in conspiratorially. "Qifeng, maybe ease up on the vigilance a bit? Don't eliminate *everyone*. We still have two more rounds to go, and a lot of people put work into preparing this exam. Hate to see their efforts wasted."
I flashed him an "OK" sign with my fingers. "Don't worry, I've got it covered. I only call out the obvious stuff after they've already finished whatever they're doing. As long as they can complete the test within five attempts, they'll be fine."
Well, mostly. A few individuals might have been getting some... special attention. But who's keeping track?
I'm not one to hold grudges. Much.
Nara thought that over and seemed satisfied. He clapped my shoulder approvingly. "Good man. Stick to your principles, but use your judgment."
He watched me head back toward the examination room with what looked like genuine respect. "That's someone who gets things done," I heard him mutter.
The warm feeling lasted exactly as long as it took me to get back to work.
"Number 25! Disqualified!"
"Number 30, fourth warning!"
I could practically feel Nara's eye twitching from the hallway. Poor guy probably regretted telling me to "use my judgment."
But hey, I was using my judgment. I judged that most of these kids needed to learn some humility.
The truth was, even if I wanted to eliminate everyone, I wouldn't dare. Too obvious, and it would put a spotlight on me that I absolutely didn't want. Plus, pissing off every foreign village simultaneously seemed like a career-limiting move.
So I dialed it back. A little.
Two hours later, the exam from hell finally ended. The survivors—and that's what they were, survivors—sat slumped in their chairs, looking at me like I was some kind of demon. Sweat-stained, exhausted, probably traumatized for life.
*Is this guy even human?* I could practically hear them thinking. *How does he catch everything?*
If only they knew the truth. I didn't have special powers—I just had the bitter experience of someone who'd been in their exact position way too many times. When it came to cheating, everyone in this room was an amateur.
You don't bring a knife to a gunfight, and you don't try to cheat in front of someone who's failed more exams than you've taken.
When Nara walked back in, his expression went through several interesting stages. Surprise, calculation, resignation, and what might have been grudging respect.
We'd started with about 140 candidates. Less than 60 remained.
That was... actually unprecedented. I might have gone a tiny bit overboard.
But I'd been smart about it. Each major village still had their basic allocation—six genin each for Mist, Cloud, and Sand, plus some smaller village representatives and Konoha kids. Nineteen teams total.
Not great, but not a complete diplomatic disaster either.
Under escort, we marched to the second exam site. Instead of the famous Forest of Death, this year's venue was the Terror Cave at Training Ground 11. Because apparently someone thought the regular death forest wasn't scary enough.
The surface looked like something had taken massive bites out of the earth, leaving behind a rocky wasteland riddled with holes. Dark cave entrances gaped like hungry mouths, and just being near them made your skin crawl.
Underground lay an entire ecosystem of things with teeth and bad attitudes, some of them smart enough to hold grudges. It wasn't just other ninja you had to worry about down there.
"Chuichi, you made it."
A jonin with long yellow hair and a red cloak approached us. Even without the introduction, the Yamanaka clan features were obvious.
"Haya," Nara nodded back.
Yamanaka Haya—clan head, interrogation specialist, and the current "Ino" in the Ino-Shika-Cho trio. The kind of guy whose day job involved getting inside people's heads, literally.
His gaze swept over our reduced numbers and his frown deepened. "Why are there so few this time?"
I tried to make myself invisible, which was about as effective as you'd expect when you're the reason for the question.
Nara's smile was pained. "It's... been handled."
To his credit, he didn't throw me under the bus. As chief examiner, the buck stopped with him, even if I was the one who'd gone a little elimination-happy.
Yamanaka Haya's eyes found mine, and for a split second, I felt like a bug under a microscope. Those Yamanaka techniques weren't just for interrogation—they gave you an unsettling ability to read people.
But he just nodded and moved on. "Right then. Time for the fun part."
He addressed the remaining candidates with the kind of smile that made you check your pockets afterward. "Before we begin the second exam, you'll need to sign consent forms. People die in there. Regularly. Last chance to walk away—the exit's behind you."
Nobody moved. Fair enough—after surviving my tender mercies in round one, a few cave monsters probably seemed manageable.
"Excellent. Here are the rules: nineteen teams, two types of scrolls—Heaven and Earth. Collect both types, reach the Salvation Cave at the center, do it all in three days. Simple."
Simple like a heart attack.
The real game started immediately. Yamanaka didn't bother hiding which scroll each team received, so everyone knew who had what they needed. I could practically see the target symbols appearing over heads.
"Each team gets an examiner to escort them to a different entrance. Try not to die embarrassingly."
And wouldn't you know it? The team I got assigned to guide included one Hoshigaki Kisame.
Because apparently, my day wasn't interesting enough already.
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