The sun had barely peeked over the mountains. Birds chirped. Sects buzzed with energy.
I was sipping watery porridge, half-awake, when the sect announcement bell rang out.
> đź”” "ATTENTION ALL DISCIPLES.
TODAY AT NOON: A FORMAL DUEL BETWEEN OUTER DISCIPLE ARIN AND INNER DISCIPLE JUN BAI HAS BEEN APPROVED."
I spit porridge across the table.
"WHAT?"
Across the dining hall, Jun Bai stood—robes crisp, sword on his back, looking like someone who never once failed at life. His gaze locked onto me like I owed him spiritual rent.
"You've run your mouth long enough, Arin," he said calmly. "It's time to shut it with your fists."
"Counter-offer," I said, standing. "How about we skip to the part where I fake fainting and we both go home?"
---
> [System Notification:]
You have been formally challenged to a Sect Duel.
Opponent: Jun Bai (Rank: Inner Disciple, Sword Cultivator, Grade A++)
You: Arin (Rank: Outer Disciple, Trash Cultivator, Grade ?)
System Confidence: 3%
System Tip: Begin writing your will.
---
The Training Arena – 12:00 Noon
The stands were packed.
Yura lounged under a parasol eating skewered meat, already placing bets.
Rong Zhi stood near the elders, arms crossed, smug.
Yue Lan?
Leaning against a stone pillar. Watching me. Again.
I stepped into the arena with the confidence of a man who knew he was about to be medically reassembled.
Jun Bai stood across from me, blade drawn.
"Don't worry," he said. "I won't kill you. Just humiliate you in front of the entire sect."
"Oh good," I replied. "That's basically Tuesday for me."
---
> [Battle Mode Activated.]
System Weapon Summoned: "Used Broom Handle (Half-Spirit)"
[Arin Status:]
Cultivation Base: Nonexistent
Hidden Potential: Somewhere?
System Support: Selectively lazy
Probability of Victory: -12%
> [System Bonus Activated: "Main Character Buff (Pity Edition)"]
+5 Luck
+2 Dodging While Screaming
---
Jun Bai struck first. His sword flashed — too fast for someone who wakes up at noon like me.
I rolled. Not gracefully. I flopped like a dying fish.
Somehow dodged.
The audience gasped.
I heard someone shout, "Maybe he's secretly a body movement genius!"
Nope.
My shoe just fell off.
---
Second strike — I swung the broomstick wildly.
It hit Jun Bai's shoulder.
He blinked. Not in pain.
In shock.
"You hit me?"
"I'm shocked too, honestly."
Then I tripped over my own foot and crashed face-first into his gut.
> [Critical Hit: Ego Damage]
Jun Bai stumbled back. His hair came slightly undone.
The crowd lost it.
"Is this some kind of unorthodox technique?"
"Is he… winning by accident?"
> [New Title Unlocked: "Flailing Fist Fool"]
[Jun Bai Humiliation Level: 35%]
[Yue Lan Impression: +2 — "...He's actually surviving?"]
---
After a dozen chaotic moments—me dodging, him fuming—I gasped out:
"Hey, Jun Bai, did your sword technique come with a free sense of self-importance, or was that extra?"
He snapped.
Jun Bai roared, channeling pure spiritual energy. His sword glowed. The ground cracked.
Yue Lan's voice echoed: "Jun Bai! Stop! That's overkill—!"
> [System Alert:]
Warning! Fatal Technique Detected!
Activating Emergency Defense: 'Broomstick Counter – Pure Luck Style'
My broomstick snapped in half.
The broken tip flew straight into Jun Bai's face.
Thwack.
Blood trickled from his nose.
Jun Bai staggered. He fell.
The arena went silent.
---
> [System Notification:]
You Win.
Through the power of divine misfortune and martial embarrassment.
---
I limped over to him, panting, one eyebrow singed.
"Next time," I said, "try hitting me with your wallet. I might stay down longer."
Jun Bai passed out.
Rong Zhi looked like he'd swallowed vinegar.
Yura whistled. "Legend."
Yue Lan didn't say a word.
But she was smiling.