Location: Returning from the Cold Ravine
Mission Status: Survived by sheer confusion and plot armor
---
We limped back toward the sect. Yue Lan was bleeding from her left shoulder. Lin Yumei's robes were scorched and her knuckles cracked.
Me?
I had a mild concussion and what looked like demon glitter stuck in my eyebrows.
> [System Scan:]
"You have been lightly cursed."
Effect: Minor bad luck during romantic moments
Duration: Unknown
"You're welcome."
---
As we walked, Yue Lan asked, "That moment in the ruin—what did you do, exactly?"
"I trusted fate," I said solemnly.
"You headbutted the boss," Lin Yumei muttered. "Like an idiot."
"And it worked."
Lin blinked. "...Yeah. Which is worse."
---
We made it back to the sect by dusk.
Our return caused a stir — not because we survived.
But because we looked like we'd been chewed up by plot demons and spat out by a confused author.
Sect disciples whispered.
"That's Yue Lan… and Lin Yumei?"
"And him. That outer disciple with the weird robe?"
"Didn't he lose to a tree once?"
I tried to ignore it.
Then someone handed me a scroll.
"Your punishment: Two weeks of laundry duty for unauthorized broomstick weaponization."
"Unbelievable," I muttered.
---
Later that night, I visited the Mission Pavilion to report.
Elder Lianhua sat with her usual terrifying grace, sipping tea like nothing fazed her.
"So," she said. "You didn't die."
"Sorry to disappoint."
"You discovered an ancient ruin. Unsealed a sealed spirit. Survived a demonic illusion zone. And yet… you remain as weak as before."
"…That about sums it up, yeah."
---
She paused. Then did something unexpected.
She smiled.
"You may not be strong. But you bring… unpredictable outcomes. I've assigned your name to a long-term mission rotation."
"Wait—what mission?"
> [System Notification:]
New Mission Arc Added: "Echoes of the Broken Sects" (Duration: 100 Chapters Minimum)
Objective: Uncover the roots of demon corruption across fallen sects.
Reward: Tiered over time.
Hidden Condition: ???
Note: All true rewards will continue to be sold to "Divine Reward Exchange Network."
"…Why am I like this."
---
As I left the pavilion, I spotted Yue Lan under a cherry tree, silent in the moonlight.
She glanced at me. "Still alive?"
"Barely."
"Good."
She didn't say more. She didn't have to.
---
Then Lin Yumei appeared beside me and—shocker—offered me food.
"A thank-you dumpling," she said flatly. "Don't get used to it."
I took it. It was good. Probably poisoned a little. Worth it.
> [Yumei Affection: +1 "Tolerable Idiot"]
[Yue Lan Affection: +1 "Still Watching"]
---
Then my system beeped.
> [New Side Quest Unlocked!]
Name: "Investigate Suspicious Laundry Hall Spirits"
Difficulty: Low
Reward: Maybe socks
Bonus Objective: Don't die doing laundry again
---
I stared at the stars.
I had no idea why the heavens sent me here. Or why the systems were treating my life like a pawn shop.
But I knew one thing.
This world is broken.
And if I'm going to survive it…
I'll break it first.