Morning bells rang.
Disciples jumped out of bed, eager to start sword drills, qi rotations, and bone-snapping enlightenment poses.
I rolled over and groaned.
> [System Alert:]
Daily Sect Training Required
Status: You are late.
Penalty for absence: Loss of 2 Sect Points and 1 portion of porridge (already bad, now removed entirely).
Reminder: This is your 4th absence in a row.
"I don't need training," I muttered. "I need therapy, snacks, and a different system."
> [System Ignored.]
[Commencing guilt simulation.]
A tiny vision of Yue Lan shaking her head in disappointment appears.
"Okay, that's uncalled for."
---
Still, I had no intention of attending the Sword and Balance class run by Elder Feng, also known as The One Who Can Cut Wind With Eyebrows.
Instead, I wandered into an unused prayer hall near the edge of the sect grounds.
Dusty. Quiet. Forgotten.
Perfect.
I laid down on a cracked meditation mat, pulled my robe over my face, and whispered:
"I hereby begin… Cultivation of the Sleeping Path."
Then something weird happened.
The system pinged—louder than usual.
> [Hidden Stat Detected: Extreme Laziness.]
[Creating unique skill tree…]
You have awakened: Path of the Eternal Slacker (Stage 1).
Passive Skill Gained: "Qi Absorption While Lying Down"
+1 Qi per hour of comfortable rest.
"…You're joking."
> [System is not joking. You're that lazy.]
---
Ten minutes later, a disciple passed by the hall and saw me lying in a beam of sunlight, breathing rhythmically.
They watched.
They squinted.
They gasped.
By the time I woke up, three outer disciples were sitting around me, mimicking my pose.
"Are you… cultivating?" one whispered reverently.
"Yes," I said, standing slowly like some ancient hermit. "I walk the path of the True Nap."
> [Cult Reputation Gained: 3 followers]
[You are now being called "Slumbering Master" behind your back.]
---
The next day?
Seven disciples.
By the end of the week? Fifteen.
They brought pillows.
They brought snacks.
One even brought incense and a live turtle.
"Master Arin, is it true you can enter a dream realm to duel spirit beasts while asleep?"
"Of course," I lied. "Yesterday I defeated a flaming yak using a pillow technique."
They nodded, awestruck.
I was just trying to avoid lunges and sword forms.
Now I had a cult.
---
Yue Lan showed up on the fifth day.
She stood at the edge of the nap circle, arms crossed.
"Are you seriously doing this?"
"Doing what?"
"You're leading outer disciples in sleep worship."
"It's not worship. It's a lifestyle."
She watched me in silence, then sat down next to me.
Just for a moment.
"You have ten minutes," she said. "Then I'm reporting you."
"Fair enough."
> [Yue Lan Impression +1: Curious Amusement]
[Jun Bai's Jealousy +2: He saw that.]
---
That night, the system buzzed again.
> [New Passive Skill Gained: "Shameless Aura"]
Effect: Host is 15% more likely to avoid punishment if acting confident while lying.
Warning: May backfire when used on intelligent lifeforms.
I checked the reward from today's "training":
> [You gained: 0.01 Sect Points (rounded down to zero).]
[System Reward: Dusty Prayer Beads (already cursed).]
And finally…
> [Secret Notification – Not for Host Eyes]
Real reward rerouted to "Blessed Moonlight System" for 500 Credits.
Host receives spiritual crumbs and social ridicule.
I stared at the cursed beads.
"System… I will end you."
> [System Response:]
Laughter.wav playing…