It is now tomorrow and after classes, and I go straight to my dormitory. I am really excited to talk to Rose. I am so glad I was able to tell her everything and she didn't run away from me. At least I don't think she did. I do have a tendency to sometimes misread a situation. I throw the cup out the window and I wait sitting by the window. I eventually feel the string moving a bit then I feel some tugs and I put it against my ear, "Violet can you hear me?" I tug back, "I can hear you, Rose. As promised I will jump right into it. My wife in my previous life was amazing. She is the reason I am ok to die young and alone since I felt lucky enough to have had her. She was so supportive and she didn't care that I was autistic. She -"
I feel some tugs like Rose wants to say something so I pause and put the cup to my ear, "What does autistic mean?" I tug back, "It is a mental health spectrum that affects a wide variety of people. We are often seen as weird or rude and often misunderstood since we are usually in our own world. We also are very sensitive to things and can vary by person. I am personally sensitive to bright lights and my eyes get really overstimulated more easily than the average person and I have to wear shades but people think I am being snobby and showing off my wealth when they are really helping me daily so my eyesight doesn't get blurry as the day goes on. I also am very picky about what I eat and that is why you caught me in the kitchen that time. The cafeteria doesn't have what I want and I didn't want to trouble the servants from my household to come here to cater to my autistic 'whims'. They always thought I was snobby and spoiled and they never understood me. I just like to eat certain things on certain days and times. It has nothing to do with being spoiled."
Rose tugs on the line, "What kind of things do you like to eat that caused them to dislike you so much?" I tug back, "Well, I liked to get pitted dates and stuff them with caramel and a pecan then cover with dark chocolate. Then as a final touch sprinkling sea salt on top then stored in a cold place to harden. It took some time to prepare and the maids often hated doing this for me since their hands would get sticky from caramel making them." Rose tugs the line, "Are there other traits of this autism?" I tug on the line, "Others that have autism might not be able to speak much if not at all and/or might have a physical tick like rocking back and forth. I only do that when I am actively having an intense meltdown though and I shut down. You might have met some people like that. We think differently on a fundamental level from other people since the world affects us differently. A lot of us love routines and schedules as well. I am one of those as well."
Rose tugs on the line, "What kind of schedules?" I tug on the line, "I like to have order with my days. I like most everyday to be the same and it makes me feel at peace. If that makes sense. Though, if it is for something I desire to fit in my schedule, I can rearrange things to make a new schedule." Rose tugs on the line, "I guess that makes sense. It is a little difficult to wrap my head around the idea of someone desiring the same thing over and over again. That seems like it would get boring." I tug on the line, "Sometimes it does, though there is safety and security in knowing exactly what will happen." Rose tugs on the line, "So what else?"
I tug back on the line continuing with my bunny trail, "Some are extremely gifted in mathematics and other areas with very little social skills while others may seem more acclimated to society while having some weird or misunderstood social interactions. Both are valid and are on the spectrum that is autism in a nutshell. My brother in my past life was also autistic and he was a fabulous musician. He could play multiple instruments and he had perfect pitch. He could hear something and play it. Both of us are very different even though both of us are autistic." I like to call it different flavors of autism personally.
Rose tugs on the line, "Oh ok. I understand. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your story with my questions." I tug on the line, "No need to apologize if you have questions. Continuing on with my story, in my past life I was a commoner very much like you are. It was just in a completely different type of society. Women had more rights than we do here. In that world, I often cooked in the kitchen for my wife and we didn't have any servants to help us clean so we had to do everything ourselves. Though women had more rights than that world, it did have its share of problems, too." Rose tugs on the line, "That world sounds great. What kind of problems could it have?" I tug on the line, "It was a very capitalistic society and though we lived in a free country, those with wealth had the true power. They almost always had ways to escape accountability for wrongdoing and if they couldn't they were killed before they could snitch on other wealthy criminals who commit heinous crimes also. That is just the tip of the iceberg of the problems we had."
Rose tugs on the line, "In a way that is similar to here but it is the rich men with power here instead." I tug on the line feeling the sexist pressures of this world weighing down on my shoulders, "There were many times I wished I was born a man. With frustrations at my limitations of my gender that wouldn't exist if I were born a man in this world." Rose tugs on the line, "There were plenty of times I wished I was a man too. Though I am glad I wasn't, because I feel like we wouldn't be this close if I were a man or vice versa." I tug on the line lightly chuckling, "I am really glad you weren't born a man either." For the first time in my life at this very moment, I feel glad I was born a woman so I could connect with Rose like this.
Rose tugs on the line, "I am also really glad you don't have servants with you like a lot of the other noble students. I like having these private moments with you." I tug on the line, "My parents in this world didn't even argue with me when I refused to bring a servant along while probably thinking I would cave in quickly. I guess my father did not realize that not giving me a servant gave me much more freedom. He doesn't know I have had plenty of experience in my past life living on my own. Then again I never told him specifically about my past life as you were the only one I have told. You could say I am 17 years old with 47 years of experience."
I feel a tug and an inquisitive tone from Rose, "Does that mean you died at age 30 in your past life?" I tugged the string back and I replied, "Yea, it was a car accident. Shit, you probably don't know what those are. A car is something we used to travel. They were like automated horseless carriages that were a lot faster. I wouldn't be able to tell you how exactly they work but I could probably work with an inventor here in this world who is smarter than me to make something similar in this world by telling them what I know and combining our knowledge." I feel a tug and Rose says in an excited voice, "Those cars sound amazing. I would love to see one. Could you draw one for me next time and attach it to the cup?"
I tug the string back, "I will try my best though there were many different varieties, so I will make sure to try and capture the different kinds in my drawings for you." I am not the best artist but I am not too bad either. I don't think I have tried to draw anything from my past life in this life before. I feel a tug, "I am looking forward to it. Next time you can tell me more about your wife, since we got distracted today. I need to go to my dorm now to do my homework. I will talk to you tomorrow, Violet. Take care." I tug the string back, "Be safe and stay healthy, Rose." I stand up and turn around and look out the window and see her wave at me. I smile and wave back.
As she walks away I pull the string back up and then close my window. I immediately grab a piece of paper and start trying to draw cars while I am thinking about it. It takes me several tries since I am not the best artist, but I tried to encapsulate the dimensions of the different vehicles so it would be more of an accurate representation. I am not a bad artist by any means since I was quite creative in my past life, but I was by no means a professional. I only learned how to draw faces well. I can't draw much anything else. It took me a lot of practice to learn how to do all the tiny details as well in a face. After I realized the patterns when drawing faces and the symmetry it just clicked for me. The only reason I learned how to draw faces in my past life was to help with learning different facial expressions. I still misinterpret people's expressions A LOT. I used to have trouble with sarcasm in my last life but once I got that down I LOVED it. Though if someone is sarcastic without the tonality change I am not able to pick up on it and I usually take their words at face value.
I draw a sedan, a truck, a van, skipping an SUV because it is basically a van to someone who knows nothing of cars, and I am also drawing a big rig and an RV as well. I think showing her all of those would really encapsulate what an automobile is. Once I have drawn everything I fold the paper and put it in an envelope and put my family seal on the wax. I take a ribbon and I wait for the wax to cool before tying the ribbon around the letter and attaching it to the rope gently in decorative X so all I have to do is drop it out the window tomorrow.
After preparing the drawings, I pull out my journal and add to it so I can collect my thoughts and try my best to avoid a bad ending. We should be able to avoid many of the bullying scenarios from the novel like cutting up Rose's study material, pouring beverages on her and her things, arranging to have ruffians kidnap her who almost assault her, and let's not forget the constant verbal assaults in class. Ren always came to Rose's rescue in the novel in each of those scenarios making them grow closer. Just being in a separate class should prevent those though I can't let my guard down. Though it bothers me that I didn't feel gross when I talked harshly to Rose. As if the creator is wanting me to abuse her verbally. It makes me feel sick to my stomach in a different way and I hate it.
I spend every waking minute of the day anticipating talking to Rose. The way her beautiful red hair flows in a breeze I would love to run my fingers through it if she would allow. That can never happen though because of the curse of the story I am under. There is no other way to describe it. It is quite literally a curse. It is like something from a fantasy anime but this is VERY real. I would never wish this upon my worst enemy. Being controlled like this is like being raped in my soul. Forcing their way into my body quite literally touching my soul with their disgusting presence and using my body to do things I don't want to do. It is such a violation on my person.
Whenever I think about my body being taken over I break out sweating and my body starts feeling gross just from remembering the feeling. Like a phantom gross feeling. The professor is a black man with light brown hair and goes by Doctor Stirling. He often calls on me during these times because he doesn't like me and they know when I am not focused on the lecture but I always answer his questions correctly when he calls on me since everything is so easy. I can tell he wants to scold me when this happens but they can't really argue when I remain at the top of the class and answer all of his questions correctly. I don't think he knows that I am actually very grateful he calls on me in those moments because the distraction gets my mind off the disgusting feeling of the creator.
This world makes me feel like a genius even though I was of average IQ back on Earth. We just were better educated than people in this world since Earth was more advanced as a whole. They could be just as smart if not way smarter than me if they had access to Earth's education system. I know I am not the smartest and I will never pretend to be. Since my 'invention' of the phone, Doctor Stirling has been a tiny bit nicer to me though. So that is a plus. He was always picking on me in class before he realized I was behind the phone. Then he just started trying to treat me more like the other students but I could still tell he doesn't like me by the faces he makes when they see me since he is excited for the installation of phones in the school. His face contorts in ways it doesn't for the other students. Now-a-days I just try to be quiet and get through classes without causing any problems. I will only answer when I am called on that is it. That is if I am actually paying attention though.
Right after Doctor Stirling dismisses the class for lunch, he approaches my desk and places his hand down authoritatively before I can get up and blocks my path with his body, "Violet, you must come clean and tell me who you stole the idea for the phone from. There is no way a little girl like you could ever come up with something so innovative." I laugh and retort back while placing my lunch down on the desk, "Nobody in this world told me anything about this phone. Are you seriously that shocked that a little girl like me could think of something like this, Doctor Stirling?" His hand on my desk turns into a fist and he clenches it tight, "Watch your tone, little girl. I am a prestigious doctor at a prestigious institution. You are just a little insignificant girl. KNOW YOUR PLACE." He says then he leaves.
During the afternoon classes I stare out of the window daydreaming when I am too bored to follow the lecture anymore which is very frequent. Thinking about what I will tell Rose next. I have never talked about myself so much to anyone in this life. I feel excited to talk with her and I don't feel like that with people. People have a way of setting off my autism and I snap at them in what can seem to be in a rude fashion as I leave the situation. It has happened a lot more in this life than it did in my other life, so it feels more like I am living up to my villainess title just from lashing out from being over-stimulated and needing to leave and be by myself in a place not bright and quiet and detached from people.
In my past life the last time it happened before I died was when Jehovah's witnesses came and knocked on my front door and had me facing the sun first off which I didn't like and my eyes were aching and then he comes out and says that I was living in sin being married to my wife. I was crying by this point and I just left and snapped at him to have a great day in a very harsh voice. Immediately walked away when he said that and went inside my house to go into a full meltdown. When people would tell me that about me being lesbian what I heard was, "You are better off dead and 'straight' than alive and gay". During that time in my past life when I was in the closet, I was very suicidal and I don't want that for myself in this life. I am going to be myself 100 percent and won't let this dumb world change who I am.
After classes I go immediately back to my room. I wait by the window until I see that beautiful red hair of hers and then I drop the cup with the letter attached. I feel the string moving from her untying the ribbon and then she opens it and looks at the pictures and then she sees the second page with the explanations and I see her face light up. When I see that face my heart skips a beat. She tugs the string and I put it up to my ear, "These are amazing. I would love to see you draw sometime but I know that will be hard given our situation." I tug the string and say, "It took me several tries to get them to look like that. I will not pretend I drew those on the first try. I actually spent a few hours on that so it would look good for you." Saying that made me blush not realizing it was almost a love confession and I cover my face and squat down.
I felt the string tug and I put the cup to my ear, "Aww I didn't know you spent so much time into it." She pauses to giggle a bit and continues, "I think you are very cute." I blush furiously since this is the first time any girl has said that to me in this life. I hear her say, "Are you still there? It got a little quiet." I tug the line three times and say, "Sorry, I was just caught off guard by that a bit. Nobody has told me I am cute in this life. My wife used to tell me a lot in my past life." She tugs the line, "Before we get distracted again, tell me more about your wife."
I tug the line then say, "My wife was a wonderful woman who was very supportive of me and she was really funny. Before we would be intimate were our funniest moments. She brought out the funniest in me. I could probably be a comedian with the content from before our intimacy (if I didn't have anxiety performing in front of people). It was just that funny. The references would be lost in this world since we used a lot of pop culture references in those moments." She tugs on the line, "I would ask for an example, but you just said it may be lost on me." I tug and respond, "Well I guess I can try to give you an example. My wife liked playing a puzzle game on her phone and before we began our intimate time there was a piece of the puzzle that looked like a woman's nipple on a breast. It was on a fire hydrant which is very hard and fire fighters can hook hoses up to them to put out fires. Well I told my wife, 'You twist the top piece in place and (moans)'. My wife laughed and I continued with the bit, 'why are you nibbling on a fire hydrant?' (responds to myself) 'how about you mind your own business.' My wife continued to laugh so I continued, '*motorboats the fire hydrant* *gets black eye*'. My wife lost it cackling after that."
Rose tugs on the line, "What is a motorboat?" I stand up and I say in the cup, "It is when you get your face and go back and forth between a woman's breasts. Like so." I then demonstrate and I see Rose laughing down below. She tugs at the line, "That is funny. Tell me more of your old world, Violet." I tug on the line, "That world was all about entertainment. We had games we could play on a screen and my wife was really good at those. She would get paid to play those and she would stream it so people all around the world could see her play. She had a following of people that would watch her play these games. Her favorite game to play was one where you could play as either a killer or survivor and she loved playing as a survivor. She had to escape the killers before dying though she often would die in these games."
I feel a tug, "Did you guys have magic to revive her?" I tug the string, "I am so sorry, I didn't explain it right. These games are simulations and were not real. They were projected on a screen we could see. We didn't have magic in that world, we only had technology we created through innovation." I feel a tug, "Thank goodness. That would have been terrible if your wife was being killed over and over again for her job." I tug the line, "Yea if that were a thing, I would have immediately shut it down immediately. I cannot have the woman I love putting herself in harm's way like that. A woman should be pampered and treated like a queen in a relationship."
Rose tugs on the line, "Can you describe how a woman should be treated more in depth? How exactly does one treat a woman as a queen if she is not one?" I tug on the line, "To treat a woman as a queen you must always place her before any other woman. To take care of her every need. To take care of her desires. To do things for her to make her feel loved and appreciated." Rose tugs on the line, "What about that person showering with affection? Don't they have a right to feel the same way?"
I tug on the line, "Well a successful relationship has some sort of reciprocity like a team-effort. Like with my wife and I. Anything she asked for I bought for her and provided. I would cook for her, but I didn't really like the clean up after cooking so she would actually do that for me. She would also do little things to show me she loved me by setting up the tea kettle the night before since our sleep schedules were slightly off sync so it would be full when I was ready for my afternoon tea. She was a little weirdo, she liked her tea room temperature so I would make hers with mine and she would drink hers when she woke up. I had my weird things I did too, so I can't really poke too much fun at her."
I immediately remember in my previous life when I was a kid I had a few culinary creations. The butter toast with melted marshmallows. To make it I would make toast, butter it and top it with marshmallows, put a slice of butter toast on top and microwave it until the marshmallows were gooey. Sometimes I would liven it up with sprinkles. My marshmallow sandwich was so good. Plenty more weird things too, I could definitely go on. I feel her tug pulling me out of my quick stream of thoughts, "I actually don't mind room temperature tea. I will of course drink tea hot but I think I like it better that way to be honest. Though I get the temperature with things like soup. Though there is one soup I like cold as well as hot. It just depends." I tug the line, "So you are a weirdo just like my wife. What kind of soups do you like? In the prophetic writings it didn't say much about your preferences, just what you have been through and what you were feeling during the academy." She tugs back, "I love chicken and dumpling soup and it must be hot. What kind of things about me did you read?"
I tug back looking back within my mind to remember the specific details of the book I read almost 2 decades ago, "Well in the writings it said you were really close with your mother and she passed down some of her baking skills to you before she passed away. Specifically her favorite cake recipe which she used milk, and extra egg and butter and with a touch of nutmeg, which set the recipe apart from the rest. I don't remember the rest of the recipe since I read it so long ago." I feel a tug, "Wow that is amazing, what about the things I felt in the academy?" I tug back, "Those were mainly the feelings you had during the time Violet would torment you and your feelings towards Ren. Though we are fighting the prophecy right now so what I read might not be correct like a butterfly effect." I paused while muttering to myself in a very brief realization that she probably doesn't know what that is.
I feel her do the signal tug before I could continue to explain, "What is the butterfly effect?" I tug back, answering her question, "It is when something as small as a butterfly has the effect to create a series of changes just by existing. In my scenario, since I am actively avoiding becoming the 'villainess,' things have already changed drastically from the writings. Though whenever we get too close the writings start coming true because of the curse of the prophecy. I wish I could hold your hand or whisper in your ear. I hope that doesn't sound weird or creepy. I just hate that I can't be closer to you without fear of hurting you or saying something terrible." I feel a tug, "I feel the same way, Violet. I want to hold your hand as we stroll the streets of the capital while out having fun. I want to eat meals next to you. I want to have a normal conversation with you." She feels the same way as I do and I feel a mixture of sadness because the curse and joy.
I cry not realizing she felt the same way and I hear, "Are you still there?" I tug, "Sorry, I was just so moved that you felt the same way." I say sniffling then continue, "I wasn't expecting it at all. Violet and Rose didn't have that kind of relationship in the writings." I feel a tug, "Are you crying? I have heard you cry a few times now like when you were in the kitchen and when they yelled at me to get out the infirmary through you right before you cut yourself." I tug on the string, completely shook by what she just said, "Wait, are you telling me you could see those tears in that moment?" I feel a tug, "Yes. I could tell immediately without even hearing the truth from you that you were at war with something within yourself in that moment when I saw those tears in your eyes after they cut you off." I tug on the string then make a tight fist with my free hand, "If you could see my tears then I might be able to fight this curse through sheer willpower. I refuse to let them win. I don't want to live as a mere puppet." As I say that I shiver in disgust just thinking about it.
I feel a tug, "So how does it feel when I get close to you?" I swear she reminds me of Liz when she says things that make it seem like she can read my mind. I tug back, "It feels like I am dirty. Not from you obviously. You are amazing. I just feel the creator's presence and they are disgusting. It is even worse when they take control of my body as if they are molesting and raping my soul. A tight grip on my soul as if there is a large snake wrapping it and squeezing it to suffocate it. The feeling of them forcing my body to do things against my will and say things against my will is sickening to the point I want to take a never ending bath to try and get the gross feeling out from my soul. I even vomited right after the last time it happened."
Rose tugs the line, "I had no idea! I am so sorry! I kept going near you because I was curious and I had no idea you felt that way." I tug on the line, "I need you to understand though it isn't you that makes me feel gross, but they show up because of you. I don't blame you at all for this at all so if any of those thoughts are running through your head, just banish those thoughts. All blame rests on the creator for making things this way."
I feel a tug, "I still feel terrible about it though." I tug, sighing that she feels that way still, "There is one way for me to not feel bad, but it means I have to talk harshly to you. Whenever I talk harshly to you, that gross feeling disappears. I don't want to say hurtful things to you though." Rose tugs on the line, "I will figure something out so we can get close even with those hurtful things. Just give me some time to get a plan together." I tug on the line, "I will put my trust in you. Just know that I will hate saying bad things to you. You are the one person in this world who deserves to hear all of the best things whispered into your ear." Rose tugs on the line, "I will keep that in mind... So you know, I have been meaning to ask, are you going to tell Doctor Grant about your past life? I could only hear his side of the conversation that day since he was talking so animatedly. I am sure he would love to hear about it and he can probably help you with creating some of the things you were talking about."
To be honest I am scared to tell anyone else. I tug on the string to respond, "I only told you about my past life. I guess you could say I am scared, but you are totally right. Doc is way more intelligent than me and he would be able to help with some of the creations in this world. He has believed me since the beginning so I think I should be able to trust him. The other teachers laughed at my story and looked on with disbelief when I told them about the curse, but he didn't." Rose tugs on the line, "I didn't know you told the faculty. I hate how the others laughed at you." I tugged on the line responding dreamily, "To be honest I wish Doctor Grant was my father. I would have loved to have someone who actually cared for my well being. I was lucky to have a father that cared in my first life so I didn't really feel like I needed that love in this life. Having that kind of compassion when there was none makes me realize that it doesn't matter if I once lived it. This life is valid too and deserves compassion like every other being in existence. Everyone deserves to feel loved. EVERYONE. Even the worst of the worst villains to the most saintly of people. I think this world would be a lot better place if more people felt love."
I feel a tug, "Don't forget that you deserve to feel loved too. I have some homework I need to do and I got sucked into talking with you. Time almost seems to stop when I am talking to you and I would love to talk with you more. Same time tomorrow?" I tug on the line, "Same time." I wipe the tears that escaped my eyes away then stand back up so I can see her and I smile and wave and she returns the smile and wave. When she smiles in my direction my heart skips a beat.
The next morning I make my breakfast, lunch and snacks like usual for this week without working out and then I take this extra time to go to Doc's office. Today is the last day of not working out so I am really excited for tomorrow. I knock and I hear, "It's open." I open the door and Doc has his face in some papers. I say feeling like a burden all of a sudden, "I can come back if you need me to." He shakes his head, "No, it's fine. What is up?" I sigh trying to summon up the courage because a part of me is afraid this will scare him off, "Remember when I told you that the phone came from someplace else?" Doc fully invested now puts his papers down and pushes his glasses up and looks at me fully locked in, "Is this another world? I have been thinking about it since you slipped up the other day in my office." I nod and take a shaky nervous breath trying to steel myself, "I have memories of a past life. A world far more advanced than this. Would you maybe like to work with me to attempt to recreate some of the things we had in that world?" Doc laughs at my words. Oh no, was it that unbelievable? He then says with a bright smile, "That is AMAZING! Obviously I will help you. What kind of things?" I laugh at my own insecurities. Of course he wouldn't laugh AT me. I am an idiot. I responded with my heart a lot lighter, "We had these things called cars there. They are like automated horseless carriages. Rose actually would really like to see one."
I then give him the rundown minus telling him about gas because I think he can do better for fuel that is a more sustainable energy source and better for the environment. Like a starter, engine, transmission, axel, tires, front wheel drive vs. all wheel drive, etc. I don't know how each component looks but I know what they generally do. I could only change my oil and tires in my past life. I was by no means a mechanic.
After I finish telling him about cars I continue, "I want to try and tell you about as many different things as I can while I am here. I will die on my 19th birthday or possibly sooner if I keep fighting fate. I want you to have as much of the knowledge in my head as you can get before I leave this world." Doc looks concerned, "How do you know you will die?" I reply, "The reason I know I will die young is because I read a shitty book that prophesied this life in my previous life. Everything has gone according to the plot and if it continues that is how I will die. They keep forcing me to portray the part of the antagonist when I am close to Rose who was the protagonist. I can't think of the name of the book since coming here which makes me think it was a message from the gods/goddesses or other powers that may be sent in a manner I could easily consume it."
Doc giggles at the seriousness of our conversation, "This is a very deep conversation for a 16-17 year old but I guess your soul isn't really that age is it? If it isn't too intrusive, how old were you when you died in your last life?" I shake my head and put my hands up, "Oh no, it is fine. I died in a car accident at age 30. Not like it was traumaticly painful or anything. I put my hand up in an attempt to shield my wife and then everything went black with no pain. When I opened my eyes again, I was in a baby's body. I had the limitations of a baby. So I couldn't walk or talk before I was physically able to, though it was still a lot faster than most babies. So much so that it shocked my parents and nannies. It isn't like I could tell them 'Hey, I am an adult woman in a baby's body' they would have either freaked out or laughed at me assuming it was some childish made-up fantasy."
Doc pushes up his glasses, "It is like you are psychic. I was going to ask you about your experience as a baby next. That is really fascinating. What about your education? I see you appear very bored in classes, so I assume you remember education from your previous life?" I nod, "Yea, I had a bit of schooling. In that world it was customary that all kids no matter their background get 12 years of schooling. I went on to take 6 more years in more specialized topics. Four of those years I got a bachelor's degree with a useless degree I couldn't get a job with and then I spent two additional years some years later getting a masters degree." Doc laughs, "A bit of schooling? Useless education? Master's degree? What field was this master's degree in?"
I put my hands up like 'WOAH' from his bombardment of questions and said, "I got my master's in the field of teaching I wanted to go into." Doc then looks intrigued, "Oh, so you were a teacher? How interesting. Regardless, that is a lot more than a bit of schooling per our standards... So what's a bachelor's degree? A degree for unmarried men? HA!" I laugh, "No it technically is called a baccalaureate I believe but that is hard to roll off the tongue so we mainly referred to it as a bachelor's degree." Doc engaged, "Hmmm. I see. So you spent 18 years on education? You are a true scholar in comparison to me." I laugh and shake my head, "In the world I come from I wouldn't pass for a scholar. There were a lot of people a lot smarter than I was. I was pretty average in terms of intellect. It was just a more advanced society that had focused on technological innovation. You are the true scholar among us in my opinion."
Doc looks at the clock, "Oh dear, you are very late for class and it is all my fault. Let me escort you to your class so I can explain to the teacher that we lost track of time on a project. Can you come by every morning before classes so we can talk about these projects?" I reply while standing up from my chair, "Of course." I will have to get up earlier but that is fine or maybe I can do my workouts after Rose and I talk? I might have to adjust my routine to fit all of the things I want to do. I think that is what I will do and switch my exercise time. I will start tonight since it is the last day and I am getting impatient. I think I might go on a run this evening. I hate running but in my last life my knees were messed up from the army and now I just want to because I can. My knees are great in this body and I want to appreciate them.
I get to class and Doc pulls Doctor Stirling out and gives them the rundown while I go inside the classroom and sit down in my seat. I hear some murmuring amongst the students, "Look the spoiled rich cross-dresser is late and with Doctor Grant. Do you think they are having a secret love affair?"
GROSS.
I just ignore their stupid rumors immediately putting them on mute and stare out the window and wait for class to resume. These rumors might get worse if we continue to meet in the mornings and lose track of time so I will definitely have to keep track of the clock in the mornings. I could care less what they say about me, but Doc's career may be put in jeopardy if rumors get out of hand. I pull the curtains on the window to shield the sun from me (which is particularly bright today) and another student says, "Hey I was using that light." I groan and open the curtain. I reach inside my uniform jacket pocket and pull out my shades and put them on. The student then says, "You are inside, do you really need to show off those dumb sunglasses?" I snapped back, "Well if you would let me close the curtain I could take them off. Since you need the light. I need these sunglasses. If you won't let me shut the curtains then how about you shut the fuck up about me and my dumb sunglasses." He sucks his teeth, "It is just a little sun, it isn't that bad." I then suck my teeth and resume looking out the window. It is like talking to a wall. I need to just keep engagement to my classmates to a minimum and get through classes so I can talk with Rose.
During class I find my thoughts drifting to my past life and my time with Liz. We had a nice little family of 2 cats. One was an orange cat with only one eye since he was in an accident. We also had a dog and we were so happy. I do miss my tattoos. That is for certain. I had so many in my past life and I loved them. I have way more important things in this life to worry about than getting ink though. A way to prevent Rose's suffering and hopefully me survive past the age of 19. Bright side, if I don't survive I won't have to worry about the weird culture of ink. In this world, only slaves are seen with ink since tattoos are a way of identifying which house they belong to. It would be completely unprecedented for a noble woman to get a tattoo in this world AND keep her status. Only those who have committed terrible crimes and sentenced to a life of slavery.
I also think of the cars as I stare out this window which reminded me of my favorite racing game Need for Speed Underground 2. I loved that game so much. Even though they stretched out the cars slightly so they were a tad longer than their realistic counterparts which occasionally bothered me. I used to stomp my autistic brother with an ugly car with the best performance parts. He used to get so mad that his pretty car lost to mine. Being siblings and wanting to annoy him, I obviously had to keep using the ugly car. If I was reincarnated immediately after I died, he should still be alive and he probably still has it. He took the gamecube when he moved out and he still played video games when I died.
That is assuming my soul wasn't resting for a long period of time between lives. For all I know I was dead for over 200 years before being reincarnated. I really miss my brother and his little fits. Wait. What if my wife is here too? How can I recognize her when we are in different bodies though? All assuming she is here. She was alive when I died and I want to hope she is living happily and found someone else that she loves. I miss her so much.
After classes, like always, I head straight for my dorm. I set up the phone and waited by the window. I felt the tug and I put the cup to my ear, "Hey Violet, how was your day?" I tug, sighing about my shitty circumstance, "It was ok. Struggling getting along with my classmates, but that was written so I guess there is not much I can do about that. On an unrelated note, I was able to talk with Doc today. I told him everything and he is going to try and make my knowledge a reality." I feel a tug, "That is great. I knew he would believe you... Sooooo, I had a weird dream last night. Do you want to hear about it?" I tug back, excited that she is talking about herself, "I would love to hear about your dream."
I feel a tug, "In this dream I think I was in the world you spoke of because I saw those things you called cars and I felt like a different person if that makes sense. I remember feeling really lonely missing someone, but I don't know who. It is like I am missing memories. In this dream there were all kinds of cool things. Those rectangular objects on the walls that showed stories were really fascinating." I tug and identify the rectangle for her, "Those are televisions or what we commonly referred to as TVs." I feel a tug and she continues in a slightly dejected tone, "Well in this dream I was missing this unknown person and I was just laying down on a piece of furniture watching a bunch of stories while not even getting up. I couldn't get up. It was like all the life was sucked out of me. Sorry, you were probably expecting something not as depressing."
I tug the line feeling particularly empathetic for her since I know the feeling, "Oh no, it is fine. I definitely know what it means to miss someone. I miss my wife so much. The feeling of her lips on my own sent sensations throughout my whole body. I loved to kiss her and I did it very often. We were very happily married. I hope she wasn't too lonely when I died. I spent my years as a baby mourning the loss of my wife. I was a very depressed baby. Though I tried not to cry audibly to panic any nannies or adults near. The adults in the estate used to call me the soulless child since I was so depressed in those years. Soulless stuck in our household and I hear some of the staff at our estate still refer to me as such when they think I am not listening." Rose tugs the line, "That must have been difficult for you. How did you manage to turn out ok?"
I tug on the line reminiscing over the source of my sanity through the years, "I spent many years of my childhood spending time with the stray cats around the estate and making sure they were taken care of. I kept taking care of them until I left for the academy. Those cats helped me keep my sanity and they probably miss me a lot. The adults all misunderstood those years and continued to misunderstand me as years went on. Those cats on the other hand always were there for me and all loved me for me. They loved to play, too. I fashioned lots of toys for them."
I feel a tug and a cheery voice coming from Rose, "I would love to see you play with those cats." I hear her giggling and she continues, "You are a really cute person. I like you a lot." I tug on the string, "I like you a lot too." I do a happy wiggle and I am glad she can't see me though she might have felt the string tug a little if she was paying attention. She can't see me right now since I am sitting on the ground by the window. I want to look at her right now but I know I am probably blushing right now. That seems very embarrassing right now. I know she likes me but what if she doesn't like me like that. She might just mean a platonic like. I feel a tug, "Can I see your face?"
GET OUT OF MY THOUGHT BUBBLE.
She again reminds me of Liz when she does that. I stand up and look down at her and see her smiling face. That makes me blush harder and I stay standing and avert my eyes. She giggles and tugs the string, "You are the cutest. I really want to hug you right now." I cover my face and squat down reflexively. She tugs the string again, "I want to keep looking at you and those beautiful purple eyes of yours." I stand back up again. My face feels flushed and she is wearing a weird look on her face as if she is enjoying seeing me flustered. I tug on the string, "I like looking at you too. I love seeing your beautiful curly red hair flowing in the breeze and the way the light reflects off of each strand as if your head is aflame."
SO EMBARRASSING.
Saying that out loud made me redder. She blushes and tugs the string, "Everyone has picked on me because of my weird hair and you are the first person to compliment me on it besides my mother." Shit. I think I stole a line from Ren. Maybe not word for word but the same thing. He complimented her hair in the story and that raised her level of affection towards him. I wonder if this is going to affect her romance with Ren? Speaking of him, I need to find him and have a talk with him. He is involved in this too. I am sure he might get confused if he starts hearing how I am fighting for him when I honestly don't care about him. He is in the other class with Rose. I was so focused on her that day I was in class with her that I totally ignored him. I will have to wait for him to get out of class and talk to him. I might do that tomorrow.
I tug on the string, "Rose, is it ok if we push back our talk tomorrow? I feel like I need to tell Ren what has been happening so he doesn't get confused about my behavior. He already knows I harbor no feelings for him and it would complicate things if he heard rumors or saw me before I could tell him." I feel a tug, "That sounds like a good idea. I would love to be there with you, but that would be difficult with our current situation. I will talk with him in class tomorrow and have him meet you here so you don't have to get too close to me to talk to him." I tug the line, "Thanks Rose. I would still love to talk to you if you still have time tomorrow after I talk with him. I do know you have homework. Speaking of, let me know if there is anything you need help with. I already learned all of the things taught here in my last life and I have some pointers that the professors don't know." She tugs the line, "If that is the case can you make me notes on algebra and chemistry?" I tug back, "Of course Rose. It might take me some time to organize the notes so it might take a few days."
Rose tugs the string, "I am looking forward to it. Thank you, Violet." I tug the string back, "You're welcome, Rose." She tugs the line and her expression changes from a happy expression to a more serious one, "Hey I hate to bring up a serious topic right now, but I don't think I can hold off any longer because it has been really bothering me. What are the contents of the letter you wrote me?" I assume she is talking about the letter.
I tug and respond while fully embracing my mortality, "If you still have that letter, you can open it whenever you desire. When I opened my eyes after that incident I knew you probably didn't read the letter. It may upset you a bit, so I apologize in advance. If you still haven't read it when I die, I want you to read it. We talked about a decent amount of the contents already, but there are some contents in there that we have not talked about that are only applicable after my death."
She tugs on the line, "Ok, I don't know if I have the courage to open it yet then. I probably should get going and work on some school work. It was really nice talking to you as always." I tug back wearing a soft smile, "I always look forward to our talks. I leave you to your school work. I will exercise while you do that." She tugs back wearing a weird expression, "Wait. You exercise? I thought only men did that." From her response I am guessing the emotion was similar to bewilderment. I tug back answering her, "I sure do. I can talk to you about it when we next speak. Exercise is for everyone, but I don't want to keep you from being responsible." She tugs the line, "You almost pulled me back in the conversation. Thanks for keeping me honest and responsible." She giggles and I tug the string, "That is what friends are for. Have a great rest of your evening, Rose." I say with a smile and I wave to her. She smiles and waves back and my heart skips again.
She leaves and I change into workout attire and shoes I can run in and bring my canteen for hydration. I go outside in the grassy area near the dormitory and I do a sprint set. After sprinting across I do 10 crunches on one side of the field and I do 10 lower ab crunches on the other side. I make sure to hydrate as well because water is important. One thing I miss in this life are the Mio flavoring and the brands like it. I used to love mango punch flavored water which was an off brand from Mio. I used to hate those people that used to say, 'It isn't water anymore.' It is just flavored water but it is still water. If it gets people to stay hydrated, who cares. I used to drink a gallon a day. I don't drink as much in this life since I don't have my flavoring, but I do still make it an active point to drink water frequently and always with meals.
While I was exercising, a lot of students both male and female were glaring at me in disgust. Go ahead, I can outrun all of you… most probably. I was about to start thinking egotistically again. I don't know how they trained and they might outperform me if they exercise too. Something I have learned is never assume what another person might know or is capable of. That is one reason I never picked fights when I did martial arts. I saw a white belt beat a black belt in a fight. I also saw a 16 year old girl beat a 3rd degree black belt grown man so bad the referee had to call the fight since the grown man couldn't even hit her once. You never know what life someone has led to get the experience they possess and that nobody really knows anybody at first.
During my workout my thoughts wander. I was really good at chemistry in high school. I even came up with a simpler way to balance equations that skipped some of the complicated steps the teacher in my class was trying to make us do. The class was struggling following the teacher's steps but easily picked up my method. He failed the class out of spite even though we all got the answers correct. That teacher was a piece of shit and a shame to teachers everywhere. I should have reported him back then but I was too young to have thought through all of that. I was around the age I am now without life experience.
It wasn't until I got to college that I learned to question things more. I don't think that method was special or anything because when I went to college the chemistry professor taught the method I taught my classmates. It was just the teacher trying to force his dumb method on us. It wasn't until even later when I went into law enforcement before I could learn how to tell people 'NO'. My boss took advantage of the fact that I couldn't say no and often would sign me up for all of the shifts nobody wanted to do. God forbid I wanted time off for a personal reason. After I quit that job, I felt like I leveled up as a person and gained a new dialogue response. If life was a video game. I did a lot of growing in the 30 years I lived in that last life and I don't want to revert back to any bad habits. I had a few years where I was very egotistical and other years I was always the victim in a toxic way and not being accountable for my own shit. I don't want to revert to any of those years and I want to be as authentic as I can be in this life.
I finish my workout then grab my canteen and go back inside to my dorm to take a bath in my personal bathroom. There are perks to coming from a noble family and donating a bunch of money to the academy. They set you up with some nice digs. I would honestly prefer a shower, but I am honestly surprised this world has running water to begin with since it was never really specified in the book so I am not going to complain. This room probably doesn't help with how others perceive me, but again, it was written this way. The other students mostly share a room with one other person.
After my bath I change into some clothes I brought with me that I like but I don't mind getting stuff on. It still is very noble looking and fancy like my parents like, just easy to wash. It is a masculine pantsuit. My parents didn't really like me dressing masculine but they didn't mind it as much when I dressed up in finer garments to not shame house Treece. My father often said "A bitch is still a bitch no matter what she wears." Needless to say in this life, all I have is swag. If only my personality could match the swag of my clothes. Ha. I tie my hair up and put my apron in my jacket pocket. I need a post workout snack. We have to help with muscular recovery after all. I think some simple scrambled eggs sound nice right about now. Maybe a piece of toast and jam, too as like a dessert to the snack. Oh yeah. I got my snack game plan.
I get to the kitchen and I start to feel gross. I say loudly, "Rose, are you in the kitchen?" I hear Rose responding with the same volume, "Yea, do you need something?" I replied, "Yea, I was wanting to make myself a post-workout snack. Are you almost done?" She responds, "Yea, give me a moment and I will be out of your hair." I wait outside the kitchen patiently and the door opens and Rose is right in front of me. I feel the creator take over immediately and they shove her and her bag of treats falls down. It looks like she made cookies. Fucking creator. How dare you ruin her cookies. How dare you ruin her cookies. HOW DARE YOU RUIN HER COOKIES! The creator is about to slap her. I wasn't paying attention to what they said since I am so focused on her ruined cookies and my hand stops by her face. Another student is there and catches my hand and yells, "What the hell is wrong with you, Lady Violet? You can't just go around hitting people! Rose, are you ok?" Rose nods, "Please don't judge Violet. She is only acting this way because of a curse. She isn't this type of person really." The other classmate grabs her and drags her away, "You don't have to tell yourself that. She is a bitch and ruined your cookies you worked so hard on."
The creator left my body when they walked away and I bend down and grab a cookie that fell to the floor and blow on it to get any debris on it off and I eat the whole cookie. It was delicious and this fucking creator had to go and fucking ruin them.
I then went into the kitchen and cried while I was making my snack. It is late when I finish eating my snack, but I refuse to go to bed until I replace the cookies the creator ruined today. They were chocolate chip and after tasting it it tasted like it had chopped up pecans in it as well, so that is easy enough to remedy. I get all of the ingredients out and put all of the wet ingredients in first and gradually mix in the dry ingredients. After the dough is mixed, I then fold in the chocolate chips and chopped pecans and portion them out on a greased baking sheet. I placed them in the oven and I waited. I pull them out halfway so I can get a slightly larger cookie cutter and make every cookie perfectly round by adjusting the outside of the cookies with the cookie cutter. Once every cookie is perfect, I place the baking sheet back into the oven so they can finish baking. They smell divine when they are done. I sprinkle sea salt on them immediately when they come out and of course I sample one to make sure I did a good job. It tastes soooo good. MISSION: Bake cookies for Rose. COMPLETED. NEW MISSION: Deliver cookies to her dorm and knock and run away before the creator takes control. START. I put all of the cookies in a bag and tied it with a cute ribbon. I get a piece of paper and write a note saying, "I'm sorry -V" that I will put on top of the bag after I place it in front of her door.
I get to her dorm and I place the bag and the note down and knock. I then ran away to the end of the hall. When I am far enough away I turn and see her grab the bag and note and look at me. She smiles and waves. The weight on my heart lifts when I see that smile of hers and I smile and wave. Knowing she got the cookies and note I leave and head to my dorm. I will prepare her notes while I am in class to keep me from falling asleep out of boredom. I can probably finish them sooner that way.
When I get back to my dorm, I grab two empty notebooks and label one Algebra and the other Chemistry. I won't start them tonight since it is really late now, but I am preparing for tomorrow so that is one less thing for me to do in the morning. I am not a morning person so I have to prepare the night prior and trust my awake self when I am groggy waking up. Sometimes that trust is misplaced because sometimes I am not paying attention and a shirt might be inside out. That hardly ever happens anymore since I am paranoid about that now so that is now something I double and triple check like I used to check the house locks in my previous life. Just checked them? Nope. I have to check one more time to make sure. It is that same energy that I check my outfit the night prior. I have to look good. I am obsessed with looking handsome. In my last life I loved my handsome face. I was constantly stopping at anything with a reflective surface to look at my face and make sure my hair was alright. I am a firm believer that how one carries oneself and presents is very important no matter where you are from or what family you are born into.