Wait a minute! Now that I think about it, Edmund seemed to know Alistair based on our little reunion at the clinic. How come Alistair never talked about Edmund when we were married? Did he get acquainted with Edmund after my accident?
My hands massaged my temples mercilessly, as though my fingers were able to extract a specific memory. I was too engrossed trying to remember my conversation with Alistair that the creases on my forehead must have formed a mountain range in its own right. Annoyingly, all I could remember was the raw emotions I held at that particular moment, wanting him to take me back.
Tsk!
"Would you be less angry if I told you?" His sudden question surprised me. Genuine concern was reflected in his brown eyes which only confounded me because I began to question myself. Did I accidentally say things out loud? But why would he presumed I was angry?
"Err… I'm not sure. You can try…?" I answered his question with another question. A game I liked to play when I had no idea what the other person was talking about. Nothing to lose, right?
"I was about to ask if you would rather have a simple wedding but-I-changed-my-mind. I-don't-want-a-simple-wedding." It was funny how he was shooting his words faster towards the end despite the drawl at the start.
'Wha-' I mouthed out, utterly clueless what was going on.
His expression quickly mirrored mine because soon after he asked, "There is something else I did that made you angry, isn't there?"
The pleading look he wore as he gazed me in the eye made me feel slightly guilty. It was not even half an hour ago I silently wished for him to tell me what he wanted to say and now that he had said it, my train of thoughts had moved on faster than one could count to ten.
I did not even have the nerve to answer him verbally so I had to resort to shaking my head.
"I won't know if you don't tell me," he reassured me.
Gosh! This molehill would slowly turn into a mountain if I did not come clean FAST. But how was I going to rectify this?!
"I wish I could read your mind right now," he said. His fingers were gently stroking the back of my hand, doing his very best to get my attention. His gaze never left my face, making me even more uncomfortable in this rather unfortunate circumstance.
The heat that rushed to my face fired by the misunderstanding could easily melt an ice cube or two. Even worse, I could taste a tinge of metallic diffusing into my mouth as a result of me biting my bottom lip. Geez! I definitely could use an ice cube right now for my swollen lip.
I shut my eyes and took a breather. I needed to remain calm in order to make a rational decision.
'There's nothing embarrassing about a misunderstanding. That's right, you can do this, Maisie!' I said to myself, trying to convert the nervousness into confidence.
"I agree it was wrong of me to even suggest that. I'm sorry," he said with deep sincerity. "And I'm also sorry for being senseless and clueless for failing to know what I've done that made you this upset."
Right at this point, I knew I had missed the golden opportunity to undo my own mess. I was already in a neck-deep shit with no turning point. Even if I could get out of this problem, I would still be reeking of crap and I was willing to bet that rinsing myself would only risk the bullshit splattering. Doing so would undoubtedly affect him.
But at the same time, I know coming clean would do more wonders than not. What was the point of rolling in a pile of crappy lies that would mess the tangled knot even more?
"Actually, I'm not angry." I plucked up the courage but hid behind a whisper.
His fingers caressed my forehead and he hushed, "Then what is troubling you right now?"
I never thought I had even more blood to pump upwards until I could feel the heat on my head rise by a notch making my world spinning.
"I-I wouldn't go as far as calling it troubling," I hastily responded, utterly flustered.
"Then what would cause all these?"
Ahhhh... So that was why he was caressing. Wait! Did those freaking lines truly evolve to mountain ranges?? Darn it! My hand swiftly slapped my forehead simultaneously but unintentionally slapped his hand away. I wiped them hard back and forth and then in all directions as though my hand had the miraculous power to smoothen it back.
"Will I be able to know at all?" He persisted but not in a way where it was annoying.
If this is how he had been behaving as my husband since the get go, I am not surprised how the past me was quick to fall for him. Heck! If he keeps this up, even the present me could fall for him in no time!
"You know that time when we were at the clinic? And there was a man I was talking to?" I finally gave in.
"Yeah, Alistair?" He asked after a moment of pause.
"Yeah, him. So I was trying to remember what was it that we were talking about."
"We as in you and him or we, you, me and him?"
"Me and him but never mind. I guess it's not worth remembering," I said with a shrug and added, "So how do you know him?"
"Alistair is my nephew."
How shocked I was to my very core with his simple answer. Like it did not matter. The way he said it with a great sense of calmness troubled me even more.
"Whaat? No way! Your nephew?!! Since when?? On whose side?" I was shooting out words - so many questions to be asked and so many things I wanted to say but my speech ability destroyed it.
I racked my brain as though there were compartments, trying to remember every single family member of Alistair's that I have met. But guess what? The worst timing came when an intermission came along. Not just any low level intermission that chose to distract me, nooooo. It so happened to be the very one I had been trying to remember - the conversation I had with Alistair at the clinic came flooding at me. Talk about timing, eh?
Here I was, searching for at least Edmund's silhouette at the top of my head through the years I have known Alistair while the sentence "you don't have to go this far and force yourself to marry him" played in the background like some broken record.
Guess bloody what? It's not over until it's over! The phrase felt like it was forcing to be my life's motto whether I like it or not. Why? Because Edmund had begun his teasing mode and I, ever so guilty, had to ruin the fun moment.
"Why? He's not your ex-boyfriend, is he?" Edmund smirked, nudging my shoulder in a playful manner.
I simply could not reply to him with the same tone. With a heavy heart and a dry smile, I whispered, "No. But he's my ex-husband."
How my fragile heart broke as I witnessed his smile drop the moment I shut my mouth. It must have been devastating for him to know he had collected his nephew's trash and even more disgusting that I have been recycled within the family.
Well, the good news is I guess he was not lying when he said he never did a background check on me.