Theo returned to the familiar training ground, that grassy spot surrounded by tall pine trees that seemed like silent guardians who had witnessed every drop of sweat, every groan of pain, and every humiliating fall during his years of training. Almost two full weeks had passed, very long days for Theo, short for Kyle, since the harsh confrontation with Kyle.
A week he spent in forced isolation inside his small room with cold stone walls, healing his exhausted body and swallowing the bitterness of defeat that had carved a deep scar in his soul, a scar that seemed more painful than any blue bruise or bleeding wound left by Kyle's training. The physical pain had gradually subsided thanks to the tender care of his mother Elena and the herbal ointment she would rub on his bruises every evening, but the shadows of doubt and the feeling of inferiority planted by that confrontation did not leave him, creeping into his thoughts in long moments of silence like a slow poison.
And a week he spent in training that was unforgiving, training with the sword during the day and repeating Kyle's instructions, relax your shoulders, maintain your balance, use your body weight, watch my movement. He would receive his mother's scolding for missing lunch, and his hands would be dripping blood every time he returned home.
At night, his mind would be exhausted from the excessive meditation he was undergoing, or perhaps it was never complete meditation, his thoughts always destroying him, he had always felt regret, anxiety, fear, and weakness. The mind was unforgiving, and the heart restless.
Once, he was absorbing mana so quickly that it became unstable, the mana almost got out of control and exploded had it not been for Celia's constant monitoring fearing such incidents. He drifted off many times during his solitary training throughout this week, and was scolded many times by his aunt Celia.
The morning air still carried a refreshing, pure coolness, the scent of glistening dew on the grass and the smell of damp soil emanating from the ground after a light rainy night.
Kyle stood in the middle of the arena, standing tall as usual, looking like a solid rock uprooted from an ancient mountain, with his disheveled gray hair played with by the morning breeze and his eyes sharp like a hawk's, eyes that missed nothing, no weakness in stance, no hesitation in glance. He wasn't holding his wooden staff this time, but was standing with his broad arms crossed, watching Theo approach with steps that seemed heavier than usual, steps carrying the weight of two weeks of contemplation and pain.
'Here he comes, he still feels the defeat, this is good, he should feel it increasingly more', thought Kyle as he watched the boy approach.
Kyle's eyes, at the exact moment of Theo's arrival, swept over his entire body, examining his physique which had become thin from lack of eating, his gait which seemed more balanced, the dark circles under his eyes, or his hands showing wounds struggling to heal, or his almost desperate state.
Theo felt Kyle's gaze piercing him, examining his stance, his gait, even the rhythm of his breaths. He felt like an open book before his trainer, every weakness, every doubt, exposed before him.
'What should I say, how should I act'
He wasn't sure what to say or do. Should he act as if nothing had happened, as if that day was just another normal training session that ended with his usual defeat, or should he express the frustration that still simmered in his chest like a glowing ember, the bitterness of the past week, his feeling that Kyle had gone beyond reasonable limits. He chose silence, as he often did when he didn't know how to express his complex emotions. He stood before Kyle, waiting for orders, waiting for the signal to begin a new round of pain and learning, as he had always been accustomed to.
Theo was a small child, he was loved among children his age, suddenly he found himself hated and became feared among children, even adults began to feel fear creeping into their hearts as he grew up, he felt that, he was a child but he learned to read hearts in his childhood, he built a barrier separating him from people, everyone was forming relationships and friendships, while he grew up without the communication skills that a normal person grows with at all.
There was a lot in his heart, and his mind thought a lot, but his tongue did not utter everything, he became untrustworthy over time, one cannot trust everything that comes out of his mouth, he could not hide anything as he wished.
Painfully, he began building walls around himself, he built a wall separating him from anyone, he controlled his tongue, if a person did not talk to him he would never speak, not disclose, not express.
But he always found people who exploited the wall as he built it, and found doors even if he didn't want to, and he always felt grateful to them.
The silence continued for several moments that seemed dense, heavy, broken only by the rustling of the leaves dancing above and the faint whisper of the wind between the branches, as if nature itself was holding its breath waiting for what would happen. Then, Kyle broke the silence with his deep, rough voice, resembling the friction of rocks.
"Your stance has improved a little", 'He didn't expect it, this is good' said Kyle while he was thinking about the conversation that would take place now.
Theo was surprised by the unexpected comment. He quickly raised his eyes and looked at Kyle, trying to read beyond his stern expressions that rarely betrayed what was inside him. He did not expect any kind of compliment, even a faint and brief one like this, especially after the past week.
'Is he mocking me', was Kyle mocking him, or did he really mean what he said.
"I trained, alone", Theo replied in a quiet voice, almost a whisper, trying to hide the tension that suddenly made his throat dry. "I focused on balance, and on footwork".
Kyle nodded his head slightly, barely noticeable, as if he already knew that, as if he had been watching him from the shadows even in his isolation.
"I saw. Observing the shadows is part of my training too, boy. But training alone is one thing, and facing a real opponent is something else entirely. You can master the perfect stance in the quiet of the courtyard, but can you maintain it as the pressure mounts, and fear creeps into your heart. More importantly, your eyes still reveal your intentions a full second before your hand moves".
'This is the basic problem now, he must overcome this weakness'
Theo felt a sharp pang of frustration, as if a cold arrow had struck his fragile pride. Even after a full week of focus and practice, of trying to apply every piece of advice, every scolding, he was still making the same basic mistake that had cost him so much in the last confrontation. He closed his eyes for a moment, recalling the image of Kyle grabbing the blade of his sword with his bare hand and twisting his wrist mercilessly.
"I'm trying", he said in a slightly stronger voice this time, trying to convince himself before Kyle. "I'm trying to focus on the opponent as a whole, not just the weapon. I'm trying not to think about the next strike".
"Trying alone is not enough on the battlefield, boy", Kyle replied firmly, and took a step forward, narrowing the distance between them. "War doesn't care about your attempts. Death doesn't wait until you master your focus. You have to make it second nature, instinct. To see with your mind's eye, not just your eyes which can be easily deceived. To feel the change in your opponent's weight, the tension in his muscles, the killing intent in his eyes before he even starts his movement".
'Does he understand the difficulty of what I'm asking?, perhaps he is still young, but he must start now'. Thought Kyle as he looked at Theo with eyes carrying a little pity which he quickly hid.
Theo fell silent, Kyle's words ringing in his ears. They seemed logical, wise, but applying them seemed impossible.
'How can I do that, this is impossible'
How could he develop this instinct, how could a twelve-year-old boy see with his mind's eye, feel the intentions of a seasoned fighter like Kyle. It was like asking an ant to understand an eagle's plans.
"How", Theo asked in a faint voice, the question coming out laden with all the frustration of his years and his doubts, as if he was asking himself more than he was asking Kyle. "How do I reach this level, I sometimes feel that the gap between us is like an abyss, insurmountable. You move at a speed I cannot match, and you anticipate my every attack as if you are reading my thoughts".
Kyle looked at the horizon for a moment, towards the distant treetops touching the sky, as if recalling a distant memory, a flash of a fierce battle or a harsh training he went through in his youth.
'I was like him once, weak, desperate', then he slowly turned his gaze back to Theo, and his gray eyes held a depth and a sparkle he had not seen in them before, a sparkle of toughness and bitter experience. "By pain", Kyle repeated the word with cutting simplicity, as if it were the only truth in this world.
"By repeated failure. By falling on your face in the mud hundreds of times and getting up again, a thousand times if necessary. There are no shortcuts on this path, Theo. There are no magic spells that grant you experience or toughness overnight".
'This is the first and most important lesson, boy'.
Theo's heart trembled at the mention of pain. He remembered the past week in all its painful details, the long nights he spent writhing from the sharp aches in every muscle and joint, strictly forbidden by Kyle from using the healing magic that was always his refuge, his silent friend who erased the effects of harsh training and allowed him to stand on his feet the next day. He felt a wave of bitterness and anger washing over him.
"Why", the question escaped his lips again, this time with a slight challenging tone, though mixed with fear. "Why did you prevent me from using healing, wasn't that excessive cruelty, unjustified torture, I could barely move on the first day".
Kyle's stern features did not change an inch, his face remained like a stone mask, but the tone of his voice became more serious, sharper, like a polished sword blade.
'He must understand, this is not torture, this is building'
"True cruelty, Theo, is to let you rely on magic to hide your physical and mental weakness. True cruelty is to let you think that strength comes without a price, and that pain is just an annoyance that can be erased with a magic touch. Pain, boy, is the greatest teacher. It teaches you your true limits, not the ones you think you have. It teaches you the price of error, the price of hesitation, the price of carelessness. It carves its lessons into your bones and soul in a way that no healing magic in this world can".
Kyle took another step forward, until he was standing directly in front of Theo, the distance between them no more than a span. His shadow almost completely covered the boy, and Theo felt his smallness before him.
"In real battle, facing an enemy who truly wants to kill you, you won't always have the luxury of time or mana to use a healing spell. You might face enemies who restrict your magic with methods you haven't heard of yet, or situations that drain your magical and physical strength to the last drop. What will you do then, will you collapse and beg for mercy because your body is not used to enduring real pain, will your feet freeze in place because you don't trust your ability to withstand and endure without it, will you fail those you swore to protect because you haven't learned how to fight while in pain".
'I hope the message gets through this time, he needs to see the bigger picture'.
Theo fell silent, Kyle's words echoing in his ears like heavy hammer blows on the anvil of his mind.
'What does all this mean'
He had never thought of it that way before. He saw healing magic as a tool, a natural part of his magical arsenal that his aunt had taught him, not as a crutch to lean on or a shield to hide behind. But Kyle saw beyond that. He saw the hidden weakness that over-reliance on it could generate, the weakness that could cost him his life or the lives of those he cared about one day.
'Was I that stupid'
"I don't want to create a mage who knows how to clumsily wave a sword", Kyle continued, his voice softening slightly, but his sharpness undiminished, as if he was delivering a statement that allowed no argument. "I am training you to be a fighter. A real fighter. A fighter who can stand firmly on his feet, whether his magic is available or not. A fighter who understands his body, trusts his endurance, and doesn't fear pain because he has learned how to live with it, how to accept it, and even how to use it to become stronger, to find extra strength in moments of despair".
'This is my goal for you, Theo, I hope you don't disappoint me'
Theo remembered his aunt Celia's words about the need for harmony between body and mind for a mage, and how a true mage must be balanced. Perhaps Kyle was applying the same principle, but in his harsh, direct way, which knew no mercy. Perhaps this training hell was the only way to temper his body to keep pace with his growing magical power.
'Perhaps Kyle and Celia were right'.
"But I failed"
Theo repeated the word that had become his constant companion, in a muffled voice, his eyes fixed on the green grass beneath his feet.
"I couldn't even scratch you once. I fell twice, and I would have fallen a third time if the blow hadn't knocked me unconscious", the feeling of inferiority that he had tried to suppress and bury all week returned strongly, pressing on his chest and almost suffocating him. "How can pain teach me if all it does is break me"
'He feels the bitterness, I understand that completely'
Theo quickly began to recall the feelings that filled his small heart, he began to doubt his worthiness again.
Kyle looked at the small boy who had not looked at him since their conversation began, he was thinking and hesitating before making a dangerous statement.
"Theo", a call came from Kyle's mouth which quickly grabbed Theo's attention, who had been encouraged since the beginning of the conversation to raise his head to Kyle, who was staring at him.
"Do you know how many mages have been killed by my hand?" Kyle asked Theo and the tone of his voice rose higher and became neither high nor low.
Theo felt tense, his heart started pounding, tension, anticipation and curiosity filled his body as he asked in a stammering voice.
"H-how many?" Theo asked, staring at his trainer with extreme tension.
Then Kyle roared in a loud voice "Thousands, boy, thousands, I lost count a long time ago, one thousand, two, three, or maybe more".
His voice was so loud that Celia could hear him from her place in the house or wherever she was in the village. Then his voice began to lower with each word until it filled only the space between them.
"Many, boy, I cannot count how many people begged, groveled to me not to kill them, for mercy. They were willing to share their entire inheritance just to stay alive for another second. There were many children who hadn't reached half my age, they were fighters of the second rank if they weren't mages, they were monsters, boy, not in strength, but in heart. Bodies were destroyed, cut, mutilated, your friend dead a minute ago, if you looked away from him, he would disappear burned in the middle of the battle. The battle did not spare a child, a girl, a mother, or even an old person who could not move".
Theo's eyes were widening gradually, his heart pounding fiercely, blood close to bursting from his veins from the strength of the flow, blood was rushing quickly in his mind, anyone could feel the heat around him, the fire element was reacting but it was not strong.
"If you see a child on the battlefield, he is an enemy in disguise, if you save a girl, her younger brother was the killer and she was the bait, maybe the enemy is disguised as a child with his magic. The battlefield will do anything to kill you, and you will do anything to live".
Theo's eyes almost popped out of their sockets, his breathing became more audible, his eyes could not look away from Kyle's face, blood began to drip from his ears from the force of the previous sound. The words fed his mind with a lot of shocking information, it was a complete invasion of the mind. His heartbeats became audible, blood searching for a hole in his veins to escape.
The small boy's dreams, expectations, ambitions, hopes were destroyed. Memories of his conversation and dreams with Rayne passed through his mind, many memories passed through his small mind, he remembered his mother's stories about his dead father.
While Kyle's voice gradually lowered until it was only between them, "While you, boy, are here now in the peaceful village, perhaps you think you are suffering enough, but you have not yet reached the edge that you always thought you were sitting on".
"And do you think I expected you to defeat me, or even scratch me", Kyle asked with slight sarcasm, raising an eyebrow. "I am a fifth-rank fighter, boy, I have fought in wars, witnessed horrors, and fought battles more than you can imagine in your worst nightmares. You are still twelve years old, and you are only now learning how to hold a sword properly after years of relying on your light daggers, do you think the difference between me and you is two ranks? The difference between the fourth and fifth ranks is like the difference between the sky and the earth, in the fifth rank, only a mage with 6 rings like your aunt can defeat you, and even your aunt is not an ordinary 6-ring mage, boy".
'He must understand the difference in level, so he knows that his failure is not absolute'
Theo was shocked by the strong statements coming from his trainer's mouth now, he was having difficulty even putting words together.
Kyle raised his massive hand and placed it on Theo's thin shoulder. His grip was strong as a rock, but it was not painful this time, rather it carried a strange kind of steadiness, of recognition. "Failure is not a flaw, Theo, but an integral part of the learning process. The flaw is not to learn from your failure. The flaw is to let defeat break you and extinguish the spark of fighting in your eyes and make you give up. Do you know how many times I fell before I reached what I am today, how many times I felt that I was not good enough, that I was just a burden on my companions, that I would never become a real fighter".
'This is the truth, he needs to know it'.
The shocked Theo looked at Kyle with terror, extreme tension, anxiety, and astonishment. 'Kyle too, felt this', he had never imagined, not even in his wildest dreams, that this human mountain, this fighter who always seemed to him as if he was born with strength and skill, had ever known failure or doubt. Kyle, who faced monsters with a sarcastic smile, who now says he killed thousands of mages, Kyle, who did not hesitate to scold him for the slightest mistakes, did he ever feel the same weakness that Theo feels now.
"Every fighter, every mage, everyone who seeks true power, faces these dark moments", Kyle continued, his eyes staring directly into Theo's, as if trying to engrave this truth deep into his soul. "Moments when you feel that you have reached a smooth rock wall that you cannot climb, and that you will not be able to advance another step no matter how hard you try. Moments when that damned voice of doubt whispers in your ear, telling you that you are not talented enough, or strong enough, or smart enough, and that it is better for you to give up and return to a quiet and safe life".
'This voice, is it what I hear even recently?, Is it the voice he's talking about?'
Theo briefly remembered the mysterious voice he sometimes heard, the voice that his aunt said was something he would know in the future, and which spoke of being "the future" and "the sacrifice".
'Is this the voice of doubt or something else?'
Was this the voice of doubt Kyle was talking about, or was it something else, something deeper and darker. He hesitated for a moment, thought about asking, but swallowed the words. It seemed too strange, too personal, to share with Kyle at this moment.
"What distinguishes a real fighter is not the absence of that damned voice", Kyle said firmly, and tightened his grip slightly on Theo's shoulder, as if he wanted to make sure the message had been delivered. "But the ability to silence it, to ignore it, to answer it with your actions, not with your words. The ability to get up again after every fall, even if your body screams from pain, and dust covers your clothes, and blood flows from your wounds, and pain squeezes your lungs with every breath, and you look into your opponent's eyes and say in a steady voice, 'I'm not finished yet'".
'This is what I saw in him, this is the spark'
Theo felt a hot shiver run down his spine although his body was already radiating heat. Kyle's words carried a primal force, the force of solid will that his mother and aunt had spoken of, the will he had seen in Kyle's own eyes as he faced him.
"I saw that will in your eyes that day, Theo", Kyle said, and slowly withdrew his hand, leaving a slight warmth on the boy's shoulder.
"Despite the exhaustion that almost brought you to the ground, despite the pain that made your muscles tremble, you got up again and again. You did not give up. Even when you could barely lift the sword, you tried one last attack with all the strength you had left. And this, boy, is more important to me than any wound you would have inflicted on me. This is the essence of the fighter I am looking for, the spark that cannot be taught, but must come from within".
'I hope he understands its value'
Emotions mingled in Theo's chest like conflicting currents in a turbulent river. 'Is he really proud of me, despite the defeat', a part of him felt a wave of relief wash over him because Kyle did not see him as a complete failure, because Kyle had seen something in his resilience worth praising. Another part felt confused and puzzled. Was Kyle really satisfied with his performance despite the overwhelming and humiliating defeat. Was all that cruelty just a test of his will.
"So, what now", Theo asked, still unsure of the next step, of how to move forward after this intense conversation.
"Now", Kyle smiled a very rare smile, a smile that barely moved his lips and did not reach his cold eyes. "Now we return to training. Hard work is the only answer to failure. But this time, I want you to think differently. Forget about defeating me. That is a distant goal now, and its time will come later if you continue to work hard. Now, think about learning. Think about mastering one movement at a time. Think about applying one lesson from last week's lessons in every exchange of blows. Today, we will focus particularly on the timing of your attack and defense, and on reading early signs".
'This is the right path for him now'.
Kyle gestured with his hand towards a pile of wooden training weapons carefully placed near a tree trunk. "Pick up your training sword. Not the heavy iron sword I gave you last time, but the lighter wooden one. I want you to feel the movement first, its fluidity, its flow, before you worry about brute force or the weight of the weapon".
Theo sighed slightly, and felt some tension dissipate. The wooden sword was much easier to handle, and would allow him to focus on technique and precision instead of just trying to lift the heavy iron weapon that made him feel clumsy and slow. He went and picked up the wooden sword suitable for his size, and felt it was lighter and more balanced in his hand, as if it was a natural extension of his arm more than that iron beast.
"Remember everything I told you that day", Kyle asked, picking up his long wooden staff that looked as if it were part of his arm. "About relaxing your shoulders and not tensing up, about using the rotation of your hips and torso to generate power, not just your arms, about maintaining balance and distributing your weight correctly, about watching my feet and the movement of my whole body, about maintaining the appropriate distance between us, and utilizing the reach of your weapon".
Theo nodded his head slowly with each question. The instructions were engraved in his memory as if etched with a knife, even if applying them consistently under pressure was still difficult.
"Good. Today, we will add a new and more complex element, prediction. I don't just want you to react to my attacks, but to predict them before they begin. Try to read my movement before I make it. Will I strike from above or the side, is it a thrust or a cutting blow. Don't wait until I start the attack to decide how you will defend. Try to predict the next strike based on my stance, on the slight change in the position of my shoulder, on the look in my eyes, on the rhythm of my breathing".
Theo felt that this was a completely new challenge, and immeasurably more difficult than simply blocking blows. Prediction requires a deep understanding of the opponent's style, their patterns, their strengths and weaknesses, something he did not yet possess against Kyle whose fighting seemed random and unpredictable to him.
"Don't expect to succeed every time, not even half the time at first", said Kyle, as if he had read his thoughts again or perhaps remembered the difficulty of learning this himself.
'I understand exactly how you feel, boy'
"You will fail a lot. I will hit you countless times. But with every failure, with every blow you receive, if you are truly attentive, you will learn something new. You will notice a pattern you haven't seen before. You will realize why I moved this way or that. You will understand the connection between the movement of my feet and the type of attack that follows. This is the goal, to turn every failure into a lesson, and every pain into fuel for the next attempt".
Kyle stood in a combat-ready stance, his posture solid as a rock, his long wooden staff held with both hands, ready to move at any moment. The simple staff in his hands looked more dangerous than any sharp sword.
"Are you ready, no magic, remember well. Muscles and mind only".
Theo took a deep breath, filling his lungs with the cold morning air, trying to calm the racing thoughts in his head and dispel the remnants of doubt. He looked at Kyle, not as an invincible mountain impossible to defeat, but as a harsh teacher, a continuous test that must be passed step by step, no matter how small and painful the steps seemed. The scar on his soul had not completely disappeared, it was still there, a constant reminder of his weakness and defeat, but the frank and surprising conversation with Kyle had removed some of the poison of self-doubt, and given him a new perspective, a more realistic goal. It was no longer about winning or losing now, at least not against Kyle. It was about learning, about growing, about building the solid foundation he would need one day.
"Ready", Theo said, and his voice, despite everything, carried a new determination, a calmness that was not present before this conversation.
"Then begin", Kyle roared, and his staff moved with lightning speed.
Theo rushed to face him, not with blind recklessness as he had done last time, but with calculated caution, and intense focus. He tried to remember everything at once, relax your shoulders, maintain your balance, use your body weight, watch Kyle with your eyes and mind, try to predict, to read beyond the visible movement.