Theo awoke in his small room, his body heavy with deep pain, as if a great rock was pressing on his chest, preventing him from taking a full breath. The pale light of dawn was creeping through the dilapidated wooden window, casting long, thin shadows on the cold stone walls that seemed to surround him like a silent prison.
'Everything hurts, I can't move'
He tried to move his right arm, but a sharp sting ran through his muscles, and he let out a faint groan, barely audible, like the sound of a weak wind blowing in a deserted valley.
He opened his eyes slowly, and saw the cracked wooden ceiling, where spiderwebs hung from its corners like silent guardians watching his suffering. The room was quiet, its stillness broken only by the sound of his intermittent breaths and the distant chirping of birds in the forest surrounding Etherville.
Theo remembered the battle with Kyle, those moments that now seemed like a distant dream, but a painful dream that left clear marks on his body and soul. He saw in his mind Kyle's wooden staff falling mercilessly, his eyes sharp as a hawk, and his booming voice roaring with instructions and reprimands, "Relax your shoulders, distribute your weight, watch my movement". Every word was like a whip, but it wasn't harsher than his feeling of failure.
'Why was I so weak, why couldn't I'
Why couldn't he wound Kyle even a small wound, why was he slow, weak, unable to keep up with that human mountain. He felt a lump in his throat, like a small stone refusing to move, and closed his eyes again, trying to chase away those thoughts, but they kept haunting him like shadows that never leave their owner.
The smell of medicinal herbs filled the room, a mixture of wild mint and lavender that his mother Elena used to soothe the aches, a sharp and refreshing scent at the same time, giving a feeling of warmth in this cold.
The bed under him was rough, made of straw covered with worn linen cloth, but it was the only refuge his body could bear now. He tried to get up, but his back protested strongly, and he felt a sharp pain running through his spine, a pain as if a sharp blade was tearing him, so he stopped, surrendering to the bed as if it were an inescapable prison. The bruises on his arms and legs had begun to turn into dark blue, purple patches, as if they were a map of his failed battle, each patch telling the story of a blow he could not avoid, the story of weakness.
Suddenly, the wooden door of the room opened quietly, its creaking sound was faint. Elena entered, carrying a small tray with a cup of water, a small bowl of dried herbs, and a damp cloth. She was wearing a simple white linen dress, and her black hair mixed with white strands was neatly tied behind her head, but a rebellious lock hung down on her forehead. She approached the bed with light steps, as if she feared disturbing him, and in her eyes there was worry she could not hide despite the gentle smile that played on her lips.
Elena said in a warm voice as if it were a spring breeze, "Theo, my son, have you finally woken up"
She placed the tray on the small wooden table next to the bed. 'My heart aches to see him like this, Kyle was too harsh', thought Elena as she looked at her son.
Theo looked at her, and tried to respond with a smile, but his face contorted with pain, and his smile came out forced as if it were a fragile mask hiding what was inside him.
"Yes, Mom, I'm fine, don't worry about me"
His voice was weak, almost breaking, but he tried to sound strong in front of her, as he had always been accustomed to since he was a child trying to prove himself.
Elena sat on the edge of the bed, and extended her hand to hold his gently. Theo felt the warmth of her fingers creeping into his cold skin, as if it were a sunbeam piercing a thick cloud.
Elena said in a tone of gentle reproach, looking at the bruises on his arm as if she saw wounds in her heart
"How can I not worry when you are in this state, Kyle was very harsh with you this time, more than he should have been. I wished I could convince him to be gentler, but you know his stubbornness".
Theo sighed deeply, and felt that the sigh itself hurt him, as if the air itself had become an enemy.
"He wants to make me stronger, Mom, I know he doesn't mean to hurt me"
He was trying to justify Kyle, but deep down he was wondering if that was really true. 'Does he want to help me, or punish me', was Kyle trying to teach him, or was he punishing him for his weakness.
Elena looked at him with eyes full of tenderness, then said
"Perhaps, but my heart cannot bear to see my son suffer like this. Kyle ordered you to rest for a full week, and forbade you from using healing magic. He said you must endure the pain to learn from it"
Then Elena paused before continuing
"And that magic will make you dependent on it instead of your true strength"
Theo's heart trembled in his chest, as if her words were another blow added to his wounds.
"A week without healing magic"
He repeated the phrase in a faint voice, imagining the long days he would spend with this pain that was squeezing his body. Healing magic was his refuge after every harsh training, his way of regaining his strength quickly, but Kyle had stripped him of that refuge with his firm resolve. Theo felt a new weight added to his shoulders, not just physically, but psychologically, as if hope itself had begun to fade like the morning mist.
Elena confirmed, running her hand over his sweaty forehead with the damp cloth
"Yes, my son, he said that pain will teach you what magic cannot teach you. But don't worry, I will stay here to take care of you, and I won't let you suffer alone". Then she added in a more serious tone
"I saw how you tried, Theo, I am proud of you, even if you don't see it yourself now".
Theo felt the warmth of her words, but he couldn't completely believe them.
'Proud of me, why, I'm just a failure'
The thoughts began to fill his mind and mock him and overwhelm him, and he had achieved nothing but falling again and again.
He nodded his head slowly, and thanked her with a faint smile, but he felt something moving deep inside him, something dark and cold like the wind blowing on a winter night. After Elena left him to rest, he began to sink into his thoughts, as if his mind had become a raging sea that would not calm down.
He replayed the battle in his mind again and again, every blow he received, every reprimand he heard, every moment he fell to the ground like a broken doll.
'Too slow, too weak, why?'
Why was he so slow?
Why was he so weak?
He felt inferiority creeping into his heart like poison, telling him that he wasn't enough, that he would never be enough.
The next day, Elena returned to the room, this time carrying a bowl of hot soup emitting the aroma of vegetables and herbs, a warm and comforting smell. The sun had risen a little higher in the sky, and the golden light filled the room softly, but it could not dispel the darkness that was brewing in Theo's heart. Elena placed the bowl on the table, then sat beside him, and looked at him with a look that held a mixture of worry and hope.
Elena asked, extending her hand to wipe the sweat from his forehead with the damp cloth
"How do you feel today, my son"
"A little better, Mom", Theo replied, but he was lying. The physical pain was killing him, and the breath didn't reach his lungs before coming out again, the psychological pain was increasing, as if it were a wound that refused to heal. He tried to smile, but his eyes betrayed him, revealing the pain and struggle going on inside him.
Elena noticed that, so she sighed deeply and said
"Theo, I know you are carrying more than you can say. You don't have to hide that from me. I am your mother, and I see what is in your heart even if you don't speak it"
'He is suffering severely, I didn't imagine training would affect him psychologically like this', Elena thought sadly.
Theo felt a stronger lump this time, and looked away, towards the window where the cloth curtains were gently swaying with the breeze.
"I, I don't know, Mom, I feel like I've failed everyone, I've failed Kyle, I've failed you, I've failed myself. I thought I could be strong, but I couldn't even stand up to him".
Elena placed her hand on his shoulder, and squeezed his grip gently, as if trying to transfer her strength to him.
Elena said, "Listen carefully, Theo, strength is not always in winning, but in getting up after every fall, Kyle was not fighting you to defeat you, but to teach you. And I never asked you to be an undefeated hero. I want you to be my son, who tries, who learns, who does not give up".
Her words were like cold water on an inflamed wound, but they were not enough to dispel the darkness in his heart.
"But what if I can't, Mom", he asked, his voice trembling as if he was about to cry. "What if I'm too weak to protect you one day, or protect all of you".
Before Elena left, she placed the bowl of soup next to him and said
"Eat this, my son, it will give you some strength. And I will come back later to check on you". Then she smiled slightly, and left the room, leaving Theo with his thoughts that returned to haunt him relentlessly.
In the days that followed, Theo spent most of his time in his room, surrounded by the stone walls that seemed to constrict him the longer he stayed. The pain in his body gradually lessened, but it wasn't as fast as he was used to with healing magic. Every movement was a reminder of his weakness, every breath, every heartbeat, and every moment of silence was an opportunity for his mind to continue beating him.
'Healing is very slow without magic'
He remembered every instruction from Kyle
'Relax your shoulders, distribute your weight, watch my movement'
. 'Why couldn't I' Why couldn't he apply them as he should have
He felt that his mind was betraying him, that his body was betraying him, and that his will was not enough to make him overcome this barrier.
He would sometimes look out his window, see the children playing in the village, hear their laughter echoing between the mud houses with thatched roofs.
He felt jealous of their innocence, of their freedom, while he was trapped in this broken body and this mind burdened with defeat.
'Will I always be like this'
He remembered the days when he used to run with them, play with sticks and imitate fighters.
But those days now seemed distant as if they were another life. He thought of his mother, of her words about the weakness that would come one day, and wondered if he had reached this weakness too early.
One night, as he was lying on his bed, and silence filled the village, guilt began to grow inside him like thorns, slowly tearing at his soul. 'I failed them all'.
He felt that he had failed Kyle, the man who had taught him everything, since he was a child holding a dagger for the first time. He remembered Kyle's gaze in the battle, those glances that seemed to say, "Is this all you have". He felt that he had failed himself too, his dream of being a hero, a great fighter who protected those close to him. Now, lying in his bed like a cripple, he felt that he was nothing more than a child trying to imitate adults in vain.
Those thoughts left a small scar on his personality, a wound that no one would see, but he would continue to feel it with every breath he took. He wondered if he would remain like this forever, trapped between the desire for strength and the feeling of helplessness. He tried to remember Elena's words, but they seemed like a distant echo, unable to penetrate the darkness that had begun to settle in his heart.
On the fourth day, his aunt Celia entered the room, carrying an old book with a worn leather cover, as if it were a witness to many years of reading and contemplation.
Celia was a tall, slender but strong woman, with black hair that hung to her shoulders, and blue eyes that held the wisdom of the years. She was wearing a dark green cloak.
She sat beside Theo's bed, and looked at him with a searching gaze, as if trying to read what was deep inside him.
'He seems severely affected this time, I haven't seen him like this before', thought Celia with hidden worry.
Celia asked in a calm tone, as if trying not to disturb him, but her voice carried a hidden strength that made one feel she knew more than she said, "Theo, how are you today".
"A little better, Auntie", Theo replied, trying to sit up slowly, ignoring the pain that still resisted him.
He respected Celia, not only because she was his aunt, but because she was always the voice of reason in his life, giving him advice without making him feel weak.
Celia placed the book on the table, then said, "I know you are going through a difficult time, Theo, but this is part of your journey. Kyle wants to temper you, and I also believe in you. But you have to believe in yourself first".
Theo looked at her hesitantly, then said, "How can I believe in myself when I can't even land a single blow on Kyle, I tried, Auntie, I tried with all I had, but I fell, once, then twice, and I would have fallen a third time even if I hadn't fainted".
Celia smiled slightly, as if she saw something he didn't.
'Poor boy, he doesn't see his true strength'
"Falling is not the end, Theo, it is the beginning. Every great fighter fell someday, but what distinguishes him is that he got up. Kyle doesn't want you to be perfect now, but to learn, to develop. And the pain you feel now, whether in your body or your heart, is part of this learning".
Her words were logical, but Theo felt they did not reach his heart. "But I feel that I am not enough, Auntie, I feel that I have failed Kyle, and Mom, and myself. How do I get rid of this feeling".
Celia sighed, and looked at the book on the table, as if drawing strength from it.
'This feeling of inferiority is dangerous, I must address it'
"The feeling of inferiority is natural, Theo, but it is not the truth. It is just a voice in your mind, trying to convince you that you are less than you are. I have seen you train, I have seen your persistence, I have seen the fire in your eyes. You are not weak, you are just at the beginning of the path. And this book". She pointed to the book on the table, "tells the stories of great fighters, all of whom felt what you feel now, but they overcame it with patience and will".
Theo felt a slight curiosity, but he wasn't ready to read yet.
"What do I do now, Auntie, I can't stay like this, I feel like I'm drowning".
Celia nodded, and said, "I will ask you to train alone for an extra week, but also rest yourself this week and don't start until it ends. Don't overwork yourself more than you can handle, and use this time to reflect on your mistakes and learn from them. Start with light exercises, focus on your balance, on your movements, on what you learned from Kyle. And above all, be kind to yourself. You are not your enemy, Theo, and don't worry, I will inform Kyle that you will be staying for an extra week".
Theo nodded his head, and felt grateful to her. Celia was always able to give him a new perspective, even in his darkest moments.
"Thank you, Auntie, I will do my best"
In the following week, Theo began training alone in the backyard of the house, where trees surrounded the area like a natural barrier giving him privacy.
He was holding a light sword, not heavy like the one he used in the battle with Kyle, but it was enough to start again. The pain was still there, reminding him of every fall, but he was determined not to give up.
'I won't stop, I must become stronger'
He would start each day by standing in the middle of the courtyard, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths, trying to calm his mind. He remembered Kyle's instructions, and tried to apply them carefully, "Relax your shoulders, move your feet, watch your timing". He repeated these words like a mantra, and with each day that passed, he felt a slight improvement in his skills. He focused on improving his balance, on his simple strikes, trying to make the sword an extension of his body as Kyle said.
At night, he would begin his magic training, he did not neglect either darkness or fire, he trained on both and developed his fundamentals and increased his mastery.
But he could not get rid of the feeling of inferiority that accompanied his heart. He saw himself in the reflection of the water in the wooden bucket beside the house, and saw a weak boy, unable to face the strong.
'Am I really weak, is what they say true'
He knew that this was part of his journey, but he wondered if he would ever reach its end. He thought of Elena and Celia, of their encouraging words, but doubt continued to dwell deep inside him, telling him that he would never be as strong as he dreamed.
At the end of the week, Theo felt that he had regained some of his strength, but the scar on his soul remained, small but deep. He returned to training with Kyle, carrying in his heart a mixture of fear and determination. He knew that the road ahead was long and arduous, but he decided to face it, no matter what pain or sacrifice it cost him.
'Time to go back to hell'