Plot Twist Number 52:I woke up to 47 missed calls from Ivy, 12 texts from Zayne, and a very aggressive voice note from Lucifer (okay fine, Ivy meowed pretending to be him).
Voice note:"WAKE UP, TRAITOR. THE WAR HAS BEGUN."
I sat up, confused, crusty-eyed, and mildly terrified.
Plot Twist Number 53:Mia had posted a TikTok montage of all my most embarrassing moments, soundtracked to Clown by Emeli Sandé.
Clip 1: Me tripping over a mop in Chemistry.Clip 2: Me getting hit by a football.Clip 3: The sprinkler incident.Caption:"Some people aren't meant for the spotlight."
300K views.50K likes.Comments:
"Girl can't catch a break 💀"
"Is she okay??"
"I'd literally move schools."
Plot Twist Number 54:I immediately called Ivy.
"WE'RE GOING TO JAIL TODAY."
"Or prison. I don't care anymore."
Operation Petty Vengeance
Ivy, being the chaos goddess she is, already had a plan.
"We're glitter bombing her locker. And leaving a fake eviction notice on her car."
"Where do you even GET glitter bombs??"
"Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to."
The Execution: Lunchtime.
Plot Twist Number 55:Ivy pulled up in sunglasses and a hoodie like she was in Money Heist. Lucifer was in a tiny backpack.
"Phase one: commence."
We snuck to Mia's locker. Ivy rigged the glitter bomb. I posted lookout.
Plot Twist Number 56:Right as Mia opened it, a cloud of glitter EXPLODED like a fairy had a breakdown.
Her scream echoed through the hallways.
Students cheered. Someone started a slow clap.
Me:"I have zero regrets."
Plot Twist Number 57:The fake eviction notice read:
"By order of the Baddie Council, you are being evicted from Hot Girl Status for crimes against humanity, including but not limited to: bad vibes, crusty edges, and excessive clout chasing. Pack your stuff."
Mia was FUMING.And that's when Ivy dropped the final blow.
"You should try washing the hate out of your hair too, babe. That shade of blonde's illegal in 32 states."
Crowd:OOOOOOOOOH
Plot Twist Number 58:Meanwhile, Zayne texted me:
"I need to see you tonight. Meet me at the old arcade at 8. Come alone."
Me:"Sounds like a horror movie. Can't wait!"
The Date… or So I Thought
The old arcade was dimly lit, smelled like nachos and broken dreams, and I loved it.
Plot Twist Number 59:Zayne was waiting with a giant teddy bear and two ice creams.
"Okay, so I know life's been crazy but you're my favorite person and if you don't kiss me voluntarily soon, I'm calling the police."
I giggled so hard I almost snorted my ice cream."Fine. But only 'cause you bribed me."
And we kissed.
Properly this time. No sneezes. No sprinklers. No cats biting people.
Plot Twist Number 60:Ivy, hiding behind an arcade machine, popped confetti.
"Y'ALL FINALLY."
Plot Twist Number 61:And then… Nate, Zayne's best friend, came in.
"Uhh… Zayne? You might wanna check your phone."
Plot Twist Number 62:A text. From an unknown number.
"You trust the wrong people. Ask Ivy about Friday night. She's not who you think."
EXCUSE ME, WHAT?!
Zayne's face fell. He looked at Ivy. Ivy went pale.
"What's this about, Ivy?"
Plot Twist Number 63:Ivy panicked.
"Okay fine! I was the one who accidentally texted Mia that you liked Ari months ago. I was trying to send it to my group chat of hot people but I hit the wrong name! I've been covering it up for MONTHS. PLEASE DON'T KILL ME."
Me:"Ivy WHAT THE ACTUAL HECK."
Plot Twist Number 64:I started laughing so hard I literally had to sit down.
"You mean all this drama was because you suck at contacts?!"
Zayne sighed."You're lucky you're cute."
Ivy:"I REGRET NOTHING."
Lucifer meowed like he was judging us all.
Final Tally:
Glitter bomb: iconic
Fake eviction notice: legendary
Surprise kiss: finally
Ivy's betrayal: hilarious
Plot twist text: rude
Chaos level: over 9000
Emotional damage: manageable