"At that time, my parents and brothers had just returned from the borders. I hadn't seem them in years. To tell the truth, I had even forgotten their faces."
Lu Yan smiled bitterly, and continued, "My mother disliked me. And I disliked her. In her head, she had imagined she had a daughter that was a perfect lady. What she got was me."
"You are a perfect lady!" Chen Hai protested.
Though Lu Yan was too mired in her personal narrative to believe it, she had indeed become someone who looked like a perfect lady. Especially after getting married.
Long black hair tied back, robes in shades of red, graceful posture, and constrained demeanor.
All her wildness had been contained and packaged. Only someone looking closely would see the remains of it in her big black eyes.
These glimpses of fierceness and chaos in an otherwise restrained person made her even more alluring.
Lu Yan continued, "My mother and I fought constantly, turning the Lu ancestral home upside down. My eldest brother saw my unhappiness and decided to take me with him when visiting eldest sister-in-law's hometown."
"Ning city, right?"
Lu Yan looked at Chen Hai with interest, "Have you been there?"
He shook his head.
"It's almost a week from the capital. Parts of the road are mountainous, steep cliffs on one side, and deep ravines on the other."
"That's where you met the bandits?"
Lu Yan nodded. Even now, thinking of that day brought a frisson of fear.
"Brother immediately realized they were a barbarian scouting team. He ordered the Lu family guards to cover our retreat. We abandoned the carriages and mounted horses. Then we galloped back along the road as fast as we could."
Lu Yan smiled again, and it was a desolate smile.
"My brother and sister-in-law are soldiers. They had been riding horses for years. But I had just started learning."
She stood up, and started pacing around, "When my brother saw me falling behind, he ordered my sister-in-law to ride ahead with the remaining guards and alert the nearest garrison. He gave her both our horses."
Lu Yan looked at Chen Hai. He was listening with wide-eyes.
"Brother and I began climbing the cliff in a place where it wasn't so steep. He wanted us to hide, while the barbarians thought we had fled."
"As expected of eldest brother-in-law," Chen Hai said, "It was a good strategy."
"It was," Lu Yan nodded, "And after the barbarians had dealt with the Lu family guards and started chasing us, they were fooled. They galloped right past where we were and continued to chase my sister-in-law."
"But the barbarian's horses are faster and sturdier. Wasn't eldest brother-in-law worried about your sister in law?"
Lu Yan nodded, "He was. That's why he told me to hide well. The road winds all around as it climbs up and down the mountain. He wanted to use his martial arts to climb down the ravine and reach the road ahead of where the barbarians were."
"So you were alone on the cliff."
"Yes, it was a good spot. A ledge large enough for me. Hidden from view by bushes. Unfortunately-"
Lu Yan saw how invested Chen Hai was in the story, and paused.
Somehow the incident didn't feel as scary when she was watching Chen Hai absorbed in knowing about it. She felt like she was telling a story about someone else.
"Unfortunately what?" he asked eagerly.
Lu Yan laughed inside, "I was scared of insects. I saw a large disgusting black thing flying towards me. It was this big."
She held up her index finger.
"I couldn't stop myself from screaming and recoiling back. I forgot the ledge was narrow. My foot slipped right off, and I went rolling down."
"No!" Chen Hai gasped.
"Yes," Lu Yan was satisfied by Chen Hai's reactions and continued theatrically, "I was scraped, bruised and battered by the fall. Worse, while I was gathering myself and planning to climb back up, guess who showed up?"
He leaned forward in his seat, "Who?"
"The group of barbarians who had stayed behind with the carriages."
He sat back, gripping his head with both hands, "No!"
"Yes," Lu Yan said again.
This time her voice was less enthusiastic.
"I didn't understand their language. They tied me up, and threw me into one of the carriages."
What she didn't say was:
---
The man tying me up fondled me.
I bit his hand until he bled.
He slapped me away so hard that I went sprawling to the ground. I was stunned from the blow.
My head rang with the hyena-like laughter of the whole group of them looking down at me from horseback.
That same man dragged me by my hair and threw me into the carriage like a sack of rice.
My head hit the wood hard, and I was stunned again.
---
"I couldn't see what was going on. The carriage moved along."
What she didn't say was:
---
I was desperately trying to get free of the ropes around my wrists and ankles.
My skin was crawling from the feeling of that man's rough hands groping me.
I couldn't stop my tears but I dared not make a sound.
I couldn't outrun them or hide from them.
I only wanted to jump out of the carriage straight down into the ravine.
---
"By evening, we reached their secret camp. They dragged me out of the carriage. We were in a clearing somewhere high up in the mountains. They ate and drank."
What she didn't say was:
---
When the carriage stopped, I still hadn't managed to undo the ropes.
My wrist were rubbed raw and bleeding.
That man glanced at my wrists, and smirked.
Then he dragged me out by my hair again, stripped me of my outer robes and tied me to a tree.
They took turns staring at me, making sick comments in their brutish language and laughing mockingly while they did their duties around camp.
I wanted to be brave but I was terrified.
My skin was crawling under their eyes.
I was sick to my stomach.
They were eating, drinking, and gambling while gesturing at me.
Night had fallen.
I knew what was coming.
---
"Just as they let their guard down, soldiers emerged from everywhere around the forest, and a fight broke out."