The Thunder Jinx and the Qi-Allergic Genius
"If fate gives you lemons, sell them as spirit fruits." — Li Qingyu
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It was a peaceful morning at the Eternal Radiance Divine Sect.
Birds chirped. Mist curled over the training ground. Spirit chickens pecked at seeds scattered across the courtyard.
And then—
> BOOOOOM!!!
A bolt of lightning struck just outside the gate, vaporizing a chicken coop and launching feathers across the sky like a feathered explosion.
Hu Daniu screamed from behind a tree stump, "THE SKY'S ANGRY AGAIN!"
Lin Ziyan casually leaned against a rock, completely unfazed. "Third time this week."
Li Qingyu stepped out of the main hall with a teacup in hand, unfazed by the rising smoke. "Hmm. A little earlier than yesterday."
In the middle of a smoking crater stood a youth with wild, frizzed silver hair. His robes were singed, one sleeve missing entirely, and he was clutching a half-burned umbrella like a lifeline.
"I swear it wasn't me this time!" the boy shouted.
Everyone stared.
"…That's what the last two craters said," Lin Ziyan muttered again.
---
Five Minutes Earlier…
Lei Wudi—age seventeen, spiritual lightning root, and full-time walking natural disaster—stumbled up the mountain path, face covered in soot and resolve.
In his hand, he held a crumpled flyer:
> "Eternal Radiance Divine Sect — No Background? No Problem!"
He clutched it like a last hope.
"I've been kicked out of nine sects," he muttered. "One blamed me for turning their pond into a boiling cauldron. Another said I made their sect leader bald with ambient static."
His stomach growled. His sandals had holes. His umbrella looked like it had survived a war—barely.
"…This place better be as desperate as they sound."
---
Back to Present…
Lei Wudi coughed up a puff of smoke, then bowed deeply. "I am Lei Wudi! Please accept me as your disciple. I promise to only explode… strategically."
Li Qingyu sipped his tea, eyeing the boy with the intensity of a man deciding whether to adopt a lightning rod.
"You explode?" he asked.
"Yes."
"You burn things?"
"…Sometimes. Unintentionally."
"You've been kicked out before?"
"Nine sects," Lei Wudi admitted, voice trembling. "I… I know I'm a jinx. I understand if you say no."
Li Qingyu didn't speak for a long moment.
Then he smiled.
"Here's a rule in this sect: If the world says you're broken, we say you're uniquely useful."
Lei Wudi blinked. "You mean… you'll take me?"
"Of course," Li Qingyu said. "If the heavens gave you thunder, then strike back with it."
Lei Wudi stood in stunned silence.
Then promptly electrocuted himself in joy and collapsed backward.
> [Ding! New Outer Disciple Acquired: +1]
[Reward: Thunder Resistance Talisman ×1, Lightning-Taming Manual (Beginner)]
---
Later That Day…
The courtyard was just recovering from its daily explosion when a desperate, nasal scream echoed up the mountain.
> "AHHHH-CHOOOO!"
A tall, scrawny man stumbled up the path, completely wrapped in herbal patches, tissues sticking out of every sleeve. His nose was red, his scroll pouch dragging behind him like a wounded soldier.
"I'm here—sniff—for sect admission!"
Li Qingyu tilted his head. "You're… crying?"
"I'm allergic to spiritual qi," the man wheezed. "Too much of it… and my body goes into full rebellion…"
Li Qingyu blinked. "You're a cultivator who's allergic to qi?"
"I can't be near strong cultivators for long," he sniffled. "But I have a perfect memory! I can learn anything instantly! I just need… a quiet place… a low-pressure environment…"
He sneezed, then recited a tier-4 formation backward and forward in one breath.
Even Hu Daniu dropped his bamboo broom in awe.
Li Qingyu crossed his arms. "What's your name?"
"Zhang Xiaofan. No sect would accept me," he said bitterly. "One even said I 'violated their visual aesthetic.' I just want to prove myself somewhere…"
He trailed off, already turning to leave.
But Li Qingyu's voice stopped him.
"Let me get this straight. You're allergic to qi, but can memorize entire techniques instantly?"
"Yes!" Xiaofan said quickly, then sneezed again. "Ugh!"
"Here's the second rule of this sect," Li Qingyu said. "If no one else wants you—we do."
Zhang Xiaofan stared at him like he'd gone mad. "W-what?"
"You're in," Li Qingyu said with a smile. "Cultivation isn't about looking good. It's about perseverance. You've lasted this long sneezing your lungs out. That counts."
"…Are you sure you're not a scam sect?"
"No," Li Qingyu said. "We're worse. We're building a sect full of rejects—so the world can't ignore us anymore."
> [Ding! New Outer Disciple Acquired: +1]
[Reward: Qi-Stabilizing Incense, Formation Diagram Fragment ×1]
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That Night
A small campfire crackled in the courtyard.
Lei Wudi zapped the fish with his fingers to cook it—accidentally electrocuting Hu Daniu twice.
Zhang Xiaofan sneezed on a rock and accidentally turned it into a glowing rune. Then he blew his nose into a tier-2 scroll.
They looked ridiculous.
They also looked… content.
Lei Wudi poked the fire. "I used to steal food from temple kitchens. One time I sneezed and lightning set the storage shed on fire. I got beaten with brooms for a week."
Zhang Xiaofan sniffled. "My parents thought I was cursed. A sect put me behind a curtain during their entrance exam. I still memorized the technique… They said I 'ruined the atmosphere.'"
Lin Ziyan raised her wine gourd. "To the losers, freaks, and walking disasters."
Ye Wuxia nodded, her usual coldness softening. "And to the sect that accepts them."
Li Qingyu watched them all from the steps of the main hall. The wind tugged at his robes.
He smiled faintly.
"Soon," he whispered, "we'll have a whole army of unwanted weirdos…"
> [Current Outer Disciples: 9/20]
"…And we'll make them legends."
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