Palm of the Sleeping Cow Enlightenment Realm?"
"A real sect doesn't need strong disciples. Just confident ones." — Li Qingyu
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Eternal Radiance Divine Sect — Outer Training Ground
It was day two of training.
The courtyard was a battlefield of absurdity.
One disciple had tied feathers to his arms and perched on the chicken coop roof, eyes closed.
"I can hear the Dao clucking," he whispered.
Another was submerged in a barrel of water, cheeks puffed out, practicing Heavenly Mud Turtle Breathing while a fellow disciple stood nearby counting seconds.
"Eight minutes and twelve… wait, is he blinking for help?"
Near the bamboo grove, Hu Daniu lay facedown in the dirt.
"I feel the cow spirit," he muttered. "So sleepy. So… peaceful…"
Li Qingyu strolled past them with hands behind his back, looking like a wise grandmaster surveying peerless talent.
> DING! Palm of the Sleeping Cow: Daniu has achieved Initial Realization.
"See?" he told Elder Zhang, who was observing with a look of deep confusion. "He's entered the first stage of bovine enlightenment."
Elder Zhang stared at Daniu's snoring form. "…He's literally just asleep."
"Cultivation is a state of mind," Li Qingyu replied solemnly. "And sometimes, a state of unconsciousness."
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Training Platform: Mystic Donkey Step Practice
Lin Ziyan stood atop a raised platform with five disciples before her.
Each attempted the first three steps of the Mystic Donkey Step of Chaos.
Results varied:
One disciple twirled, tripped, and rolled into a shrub.
Another flailed and somehow stepped on her own foot.
The third performed a perfect sequence… then accidentally donkey-kicked someone behind him.
Lin Ziyan facepalmed. "You're supposed to confuse the enemy, not yourselves."
The disciples looked at her with adoration. "Senior Sister, can you demonstrate?"
She sighed and moved.
One step left, one back, a flick, a twist—
Her form blurred.
Wind kicked up.
The five disciples blinked. She was gone.
Then—bonk—she reappeared on the roof.
"…I didn't mean to go that far," she muttered.
Li Qingyu clapped from a distance. "Perfect! Confusion achieved. Even you didn't know where you'd land."
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Alchemy Pavilion — Ye Wuxia's Corner
Su Jian was meditating upside down, holding a chicken feather over his head.
"I am the cluck," he intoned. "The cluck is me."
Ye Wuxia looked up from her concoctions. "You do realize the technique doesn't require feathers?"
"But the scroll said to meditate near poultry!"
A chicken waddled past. Su Jian's eyes lit up.
"Perfect!"
> DING! Su Jian has gained minor insight into the first cluck of the Daoist Rooster.
He gasped. "I felt it… the first cluck!"
Ye Wuxia muttered under her breath, "He's going to be unbearable for days…"
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System Log — Sect Status
> Outer Disciple Training Progress: 40%
Scroll Comprehension Levels:
– Daoist Rooster Scripture: 1 Enlightened
– Sleeping Cow Palm: 3 Initial, 1 Enlightened (Hu Daniu)
– Donkey Step: 2 Bruised, 1 Semi-Coherent
– Mud Turtle Breathing: 1 Gasping, 1 Stable
– Ninefold Path of Sitting Very Still: 5 Stuck at Level 1 (Still Fidgeting)
Li Qingyu nodded at the numbers, sipping tea. "Progress is slow… but chaotic. Just right."