After our brilliant trip to the Human World, I returned to Hueco Mundo with my loyal, useless, idiot pet Aizen.
Not that Aizen. My dog-shaped Hollow. No genius schemes, just an empty head and a wagging tail.
Today's plan?
Catch the fake moon.
I pointed to the sky like a wise philosopher.
"GUOOOH!"
(Translation: Go get the moon, Aizen!)
He stared up… then ran straight into a sand dune.
I chased after him, tripped over a buried bone (someone else's leftovers), and landed face-first into the sand.
[EP Reward: 10,000]
Reason: Tripped over a bone while chasing your dog who ran the wrong way.
I coughed up sand, stood, and glared at him.
"GUOOOH!"
(Translation: You're useless!)
He sat down… facing away from me.
Then, I had the most brilliant idea of my life.
I tied a rock to a stick, pointed it at the sky, and shouted to the world:
"This is the Moonstick! I caught the moon!"
A Hollow walking by paused and blinked.
"Is that… a stick with a rock on it?"
I didn't like his tone. I bonked him on the head with the Moonstick.
[EP Reward: 12,000]
Reason: Bonked a stranger for questioning your moon-catching tool.
Aizen wagged his tail like an idiot. Or maybe it was his head. I couldn't tell.
Then disaster struck.
While marching proudly with my Moonstick, I tripped over my own foot like a complete fool and slammed straight into a cactus. Not the first time I've seen a cactus here — but the first time it fought back.
It poked me so hard it stuck in my mask. I staggered around like a drunk zombie.
[EP Reward: 6,000]
Reason: Face-smashed into a known Hueco Mundo cactus while bragging about a fake Moonstick.
I lay there twitching while Aizen drooled nearby, clearly impressed by my talent for pain.
By nightfall (which is always night here), I sat next to Aizen, holding my Moonstick, feeling like a champion.
He chewed a rock and stared at the sky, thinking about nothing at all.
Current EP: 933,500 / 100,000,000