Current EP: 6,200 / 1,000,000
Another eternal night in Hueco Mundo.
The pale white sands stretched endlessly, the sky forever dark, and the occasional Hollow scream echoed in the distance. But me? I had bigger plans today.
Cero Surfing.
That's right.
I was going to ride my own Cero like a board.
Why?
Because the System loves rewarding my stupidity, and frankly, I was running out of dumb ideas that didn't immediately kill me.
I lumbered up to the top of a sand dune, standing tall — six stories of towering bone and questionable judgment.
"GRRROOOOH."
(Translation: "Time to invent extreme sports.")
I pointed both hands downward, gathering a twin Cero beneath my feet. The crimson light flared, sand melting around it, and every sane Hollow in a fifty-meter radius sprinted for cover.
Smart.
Me?
I stood proudly atop the twin Cero as it charged up.
It was unstable.
It was overpowered.
It was perfect.
And then I fired.
PEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW—
The twin beams of destructive energy erupted, propelling my enormous Gillian body forward like a rocket-powered sled. The sands behind me turned to glass. My mask flapped in the wind. It was glorious.
For exactly three seconds.
Then, physics caught up.
I lost balance.
And by "lost balance" I mean I somersaulted through the air, one massive bony leg over my head, and crashed face-first into the largest boulder in the area.
BOOOOM.
The entire dune collapsed.
A Hollow hiding nearby fainted on the spot.
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Invented 'Cero Surfing' — +650 EP]
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Performed catastrophic wipeout — +400 EP]
Current EP: 7,250 / 1,000,000
I groaned.
"Gruuuugh…"
(Translation: "Totally worth it.")
My mask cracked a little. My pride did not.
I peeled myself out of the crater and dusted myself off — metaphorically. It's hard to dust yourself off when your hands are literal bone-clubs.
At this point, the same crow-faced Hollow from before peeked over a rock.
Still clapping.
Legend.
I gave him a thumbs-up.
Or at least, what passed for a thumbs-up when you had three finger bones.
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Formed unofficial fan club — +300 EP]
Current EP: 7,550 / 1,000,000
Nice.
I stomped off to find my next masterpiece of idiocy. The options were limitless.
Idea Board:
Try to stack three Ceros on top of each other.
Challenge a boulder to a staring contest.
See if I could jump into the air and do a cannonball onto a sand dune.
I rubbed my chin.
Or, well, the front of my mask.
The cannonball idea sounded good.
I lumbered up another dune, grunted with effort, and hurled my massive body into the air.
For a moment, I was weightless.
Majestic.
A six-story skeletal missile.
And then—
THUUUUD.
A sand explosion mushroomed into the air. The shockwave knocked over several smaller Hollows.
One got buried alive.
Another got launched into the distance, wailing like a falling anvil.
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Executed 'Gillian Cannonball' — +700 EP]
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Created localized sandquake — +400 EP]
Current EP: 8,650 / 1,000,000
I laughed.
Or what passed for laughter here.
"GROOOOOOH!"
(Translation: "This is the best life ever.")
Current EP: 8,650 / 1,000,000