Subaru finds a little peace of mind now that he has made a contract with Beatrice.
But when it comes to the issues that essentially cornered him, nothing has improved and there is still no sign of a solution.
Subaru continued to lead the reclusive life that he never left the living room, and Beatrice wasn't always sticking to him around the clock.
In fact, from the night of the fourth day to the first day of the fifth day――during the negotiations to have her share of guard duty during that time in question, Beatrice, who didn't want to be by Subaru's side if possible, hadn't come to his room even once since then.
Instead, the person who has visited Subaru countless times is
"Yes, I'm glad. Beatrice, you came to apologize properly. I'm impressed, I'm impressed."
Emilia said, nodding and smiling beside the bed.
Her frequent visits prick Subaru's conscience, but at the same time, she truly seems like a goddess, bringing a ray of light to this world of darkness.
Even after being pushed away so harshly, Emilia still approached Subaru. And even when she offered a wordless apology out of remorse,
"You were probably irritated, weren't you? Everyone feels that way sometimes, so it can't be helped. I'd be glad if you said the same to Ram and Rem, though."
He gently ignored Subaru's rude remark.
As for her small request after that, Subaru was unable to give a clear answer.
If they had simply decided that they were untrustworthy and knew the circumstances, Subaru would have been silenced by them. On the other hand, even after experiencing their excessive loyalty, he honestly couldn't bring himself to hate them.
However, this may just be a hollow hope born out of an optimistic belief that only one side is definitely involved and that the other side may not know anything about it.
With each passing day, Subaru's mind is worn down by the gap between hope and the even greater disappointment.
Emilia stared at Subaru, who seemed to be growing haggard, then she glanced at the meal placed next to the bed,
"After all, you haven't eaten any food."
"...bad"
Subaru is a very troublesome guest. Despite the fact that he is not even allowed to show his face, and was even greeted with abuse on their first meeting, the servants of the mansion naturally do not do something unkind like skimping on meals.
Even though the meals served to him are always left almost untouched and he knows that he is clearly not welcome, he carries out his duties without changing his expression or complaining.
One was blunt, the other was politely rude, but they were not the type to slack off at work. Subaru knew that. And yet,
-- I wonder if there's poison in it.
Every time I see food, that anxiety crosses my mind.
I don't think he's the type of opponent who would resort to such a tactic. If he was going to do that, he would have had plenty of chances in the previous laps.
But their actions always came directly at Subaru, and so he was half certain that when they came to kill him this time too, they would be clutching a weapon.
The reality is that someone who knows all of Subaru's good points is trying to kill him. Once Subaru had accepted this, his despair began.
Being in such a mental state meant that I couldn't accept food, purely because my internal organs couldn't stop trembling due to tension and anxiety.
I'm sure the food is delicious. It's a taste I've experienced time and time again. I may have thought that one day I'll be able to do it just as well.
"If you don't eat even a little, it'll be poisonous to your body. It might be spicy though."
Subaru: "My stomach just can't take it… If Emilia-tan would just say, 'Aahh,' and feed me, maybe I could eat it."
Subaru made a pointless joke at the sad face and cursed his own helplessness.
I realized how incompetent I was, unable to even pretend to be my usual frivolous self in front of someone who was probably genuinely concerned about me.
but,
"Okay then, okay."
"--fart?"
"So that's it."
Emilia, with a tray of food on her lap and a spoon in her hand, looked at Subaru.
The soup was scooped into the spoon, and while it was still barely warm, it slowly made its way towards Subaru's mouth.
Not understanding Emilia's intentions, Subaru couldn't help but wave his hand,
"No, no, no, wait a minute, Emilia-tan. What are you doing?"
"What do you mean? Subaru said you'd eat it if I did this, right? So, eat it. I'll feed you."
"Well, I guess the beauty of this is that in the end you can't do it, or even if you do try, the girl's face turns bright red and you can only do it once, which is what really gets to me."
"There's no reason to be embarrassed about giving a child a little meal when he's talking like this. See, I'm not saying stupid things."
Emilia forced the flustered Subaru to gasp. In the end, overwhelmed by her force, Subaru felt his ears burn with humiliation,
"Ahh, ahhh."
"Yes, Gokun. We'll go one after the other. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes."
「It's too early! It's my first time and there's no afterglow or anything!」
His movements were mechanical and efficient, as if he was taking part in a speed-eating contest. Subaru instinctively put each spoon that was offered to him into his mouth, eventually falling into Emilia's trap and finishing the meal with her hands.
Having successfully emptied the tray, Emilia looked satisfied and deepened her smile, saying, "Yes."
"Now, what are you going to say when you're done eating?"
"Thank you very much."
"Bad manners. Correct them one more time."
"Thank you for the meal."
"Yes, thank you for your time."
Subaru bowed deeply, and Emilia politely bowed back.
As for Subaru, after having endured an empty stomach for over two days, suddenly stuffing himself with food created a strange feeling of fullness that was pressing down on his internal organs.
Subaru tilted his head in confusion, saying that he didn't remember eating much, and,
"They haven't had anything proper to eat for a while, so their stomachs wouldn't be shocked. Ram suggested it, and Rem made it. They're good kids after all."
Emilia's words, which sounded as if she was boasting about her sisters, pierced Subaru's heart.
In reality, the thoughtfulness of the man would have made Subaru happy enough to cry, but right now it just seemed like a painful moment of indecision that brought tears to his eyes.
Even when someone is kind or acts friendly, there is always something hidden behind it.
Yes, once you realize it.
"Well, I've fed Subaru, and I'm sure he'll get tired if we stay too long, so I'll be heading back."
"You can sleep next to me if you like."
"I'm glad you're feeling better. But I have a lot of things I need to do. I've been sneaking out, so I can't really do much."
Emilia closes one eye and apologizes for her playfulness.
Suddenly remembering her schedule for this time of day, Subaru realized just how blessed he was.
At this time, she should be busy studying in her room.
They should be working hard, carrying the weight of their country on their shoulders and aiming for the future.
They have nothing but their bodies, cannot move forward into the future and continue repeating the present; it would be a waste of even a second to bother with this fated loser.
Suddenly, someone chirped in Subaru's mind, wondering if it was okay for him to continue to give in to fate.
Pushed by the competitive spirit that sounded just like his own voice, he raised his head,
"Hey, Puck."
"...I kept quiet because I thought my loveliness didn't match the atmosphere, so what's wrong?"
The silver-haired cat was about to leave the room with a tray in his arms, when he called out a different name to her back and watched as Koneko appeared, pushing her long silver hair aside.
Staring firmly into those black eyes, Subaru pointed at him,
Subaru: "I think Emilia-tan is probably okay, but… please make sure you protect her properly. Even if you have to use that small body as a shield."
"If someone my size can protect me, then it must be a pretty small crisis."
"Shut up. Anyway, please. This time, I'm doing my best just to take care of myself."
I don't think the danger will reach Emilia.
At the very least, Roswaal has no reason to harm her, and if he doesn't, the twins probably won't have a reason either.
The only person in this mansion whose life was in danger now was Subaru.
"Just worried about your own life, huh? Simple. ...No, wait a minute. Thinking about it carefully, I don't think I did anything that big a deal last time."
I have a feeling that the summary of the last episode was that while I was just going with the flow and getting through the situation, the good-looking guy took it all in.
It seems that both last time and this time, Subaru was simply being pushed around.
"I'm sorry for appearing so confused, but I'll take your advice to heart. --Yeah, it doesn't seem like a lie or any ill intention."
Puck nodded softly, lowering his voice slightly.
Subaru couldn't understand what she was thinking in those pitch black eyes, which didn't let any light in, and the lack of any indication of her emotion made him feel both creepy and dependable, so he pulled his chin back.
Emilia, who was a party to the exchange between the two but felt left behind, pouted in dissatisfaction and said,
"You two have already agreed, what's going on? Are you thinking of something sinister?"
"No way! I'm a girl, so I have to be careful about a lot of things. Watch out for cars, watch out for guys!"
"By car... do you mean a horse-drawn carriage or a dragon carriage? What do you mean, be careful of men?"
"There aren't many men out there who are as loyal and honest as me, so Emilia-tan, listen carefully to what your father has to say and make sure you can trust him."
Puck nodded in agreement as Subaru spoke in his usual tone.
"That's right, Lia. From now on, don't think of my opinions as nagging, but listen to them seriously. First of all, a guy with black hair and mean eyes is a no-no. If you bring a guy like that over to your house, I won't let you in again."
"Brutus, it's you again!"
Subaru yelled at Puck, who had slashed at his back, which he had taken for granted. The man and the animal tilted their heads at the unfamiliar name. Subaru cleared his throat to pull himself together, and then,
"Anyway, that's all. Be especially careful at night. Emilia-tan is so cute, I'm sure she's always fighting the fear of being sneaked into at night though."
"Apparently, if anyone steps on the floor where my room is located without permission, a terrifying guardian will be notified."
"That's dangerous. I was so exhausted that I fell asleep after work. I'm not good at sleeping. I can't even relax at night."
"I'll leave the door unlocked, so if you're brave, you can give it a try."
Emilia raised her hand slightly and, leaving those words behind, left the room. As she left, the kitten on her shoulder also gave a greeting with a wave.
At the very least, he could have called out a warning to her and her guardians.
I think they'll probably be okay at this rate.
"Oh no..."
Suddenly, the moment a sense of relief flooded his heart, Subaru was suddenly overcome by a wave of sleepiness.
The sleepiness that had been warded off by the pain now took control of Subaru's consciousness, robbing him of all the energy to resist.
The fact that my hunger had been inadvertently satisfied may have been one of the indirect reasons why I did not have the energy to resist it.
Biting his lip, Subaru realised he couldn't sleep, and his consciousness began to sink into slumber.
※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※
Between dream and reality, Subaru's consciousness drifted like a cloud.
I once heard somewhere that the act of dreaming while sleeping is a by-product that occurs as the brain organizes information.
So it made sense that the scenes that continued to disturb Subaru's restful sleep while he was asleep were meant to help him sort out his vivid memories.
The sensation of having half of his body torn off, the moment his skull was shattered, the pain of having his legs blown off, the sense of loss as his throat was pierced, the despair of having his stomach ripped open - all these things continued to torment Subaru, who was standing on the edge of his dream, even as he escaped reality.
Groaning, groaning, writhing and drenched in sweat, tears streaming from his eyes, Subaru continued to fight the emotions welling up inside him.
It's painful. It's difficult. It's sad. It hurts. I can't take it anymore. I want it to end.
The whining and complaints overflow endlessly, and each time they do, the soul is worn down. Worn down and worn down, until finally, it is completely worn down and there is nothing left.
My mind and body are so exhausted that I feel that way.
Suddenly, the tension in Subaru's body disappeared.
It was as if the chill and fear that had been shivering to the core of my body had suddenly been banished.
The reason is the hands.
Someone is holding Subaru's hand.
As Subaru lay in his bed, drifting between the realms of unconsciousness, someone from the real world tried to reach out and stop him.
It was a warm feeling. A gentle sensation. I could feel that I was being cared for.
I felt like I was saved. A gentle breeze blew into my desolate heart.
His painful sleeping face becomes peaceful, and his breathing becomes quiet again, forgetting his suffering.
Who was it? What was it?
Was it reality, or was this just another convenient dream?
Feeling a faint warmth remaining in the palms of both his right and left hands--
※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※
"--- I wonder if he'll just stay sound asleep forever."
"Bunsuriiga!"
Subaru cried out in agony as he was violently kicked off his bed and forced awake.
Subaru was awakened by the hard feeling of the floor and grabbed the bed to pull himself up, only to find Beatrice standing in front of him on the other side of the bunk.
She folded her arms, not hiding her displeasure at all, and snorted arrogantly.
"It was time for us to meet, so I came reluctantly."
"There are some nasty things you can say without hitting them. That's exactly what I'm feeling right now."
Subaru said this in a tired tone as he threw his torso onto the bed.
Then, suddenly, I realized that I had been asleep, and it frightened me a little, considering how alert and awake I had been.
"Falling asleep on the crucial fourth day? Am I a reckless idiot?"
"You're so noisy and mumbling. Now, hurry up and get going."
Subaru covered his face in his hands and lamented, but Beatrice ignored him, beckoning him to go and lead him towards the door. Subaru panicked as he watched her.
"Going...where are you going?"
"You want me to spend the night in a room that reeks of you? I don't want that. Betty's place is inside the Forbidden Library, and I can't give that up."
Beatrice snapped her fingers and touched the door.
No abnormality was apparent, but that probably meant that the preparations for 『Gate Crossing』 were complete.
Beatrice's offer was unexpected, but Subaru was grateful for the coincidence. Beatrice's ``Door Crossing'' was a troublesome weapon that prevented attackers from pinpointing the location of a surprise attack. For some reason it didn't work on Subaru, but it was already confirmed that Rem had no effective means of ``Door Breaking.''
"You've actually thought about a lot of things."
"If you don't hurry, the tea will get cold, so hurry back."
Beatrice's response to Subaru's impressed tone was a cold one. It seemed that he'd been overthinking it.
Frowning at the mistake he'd made, Subaru suddenly looked down at his hands.
There's nothing particularly unusual about it, but for some reason it bothers me.
Come to think of it, someone touched me while I was sleeping.
"Beatrice. I don't think that's the case, but you weren't holding my hand while I was sleeping, were you?"
"This is really out of the question. Even if Nii-cha asked me, I would politely decline."
"You're going to say it like that... But we'll die together!"
"Absolutely no."
Subaru gives a thumbs up and weakly flashes his teeth.
It's the usual pose, but I'm still not feeling well.
Leaving a sigh of exasperation at Subaru, Beatrice passed through the door. Hastily fixing himself up here and there, Subaru also passed through the door and headed to the Forbidden Library.
Subaru thought that the room still gave off an impression of tranquility and chaos.
This room, lined with endless bookshelves packed with books, never changes its appearance no matter how many times you visit.
Beatrice entered the room first, and as usual, went to her usual spot by the stepladder. She sat down on the stepladder, which was actually a chair, despite being a stepladder, and
"You can just kill time however you like. If something happens here... I don't think anything will happen, but you have to abide by the contract."
"Even if you say it's just killing time..."
Tension and the anxiety that comes with it. I've been trying to pull myself together for a while now, but as the time in question approaches, I can't keep my cool.
Subaru glanced around the room, comparing the many books lined up on the shelves,
"That's right. Are there any books written only in the 'I' character?"
"...There is some. Can't you read other characters?"
"It's embarrassing, you know. But I did my best."
While doing her best and being watched over by the twins--
He dug his own wounds extensively and suffered great damage.
"Stepping into the Mathers family library is a waste of a treasure. Betty only invites people here once every few years."
"Even if you say that, a book you can't read is just a pile of paper, and even if you say the chance to put it in the Forbidden Archives is rare..."
Unfortunately for Subaru, this room was nothing unusual.
Subaru decided that telling Beatrice about it now would only make things worse, and that it was nothing to be proud of, so he kept his mouth shut.
Beatrice frowned suspiciously at Subaru, who had cut off his sentence midway. Subaru raised his finger to change the topic,
"By the way, have you been in this room this whole time?"
"That's the contract."
"Another contract? To sign such a contract at such a young age... you must have been caught by a very capable saleswoman. The louder the insurance agents are, the more capable they are."
"I wonder if all of these contracts were of my own volition."
He spoke in a tone that seemed to bluntly refuse to discuss it any further.
Beatrice spoke with a blank look on her face, and Subaru nodded quietly,
"Such statements have been made by those involved---"
"If you don't shut up already, I'm going to break the contract!"
Beatrice stood up, pulled out books from the shelf, and threw them at Subaru, one by one.
Since Beatrice was usually one who didn't hold back when using her magical powers, it was extremely rare for her to rely on physical attacks like this.
He swiftly caught the weak girl's throw and placed it on top of a nearby platform. The attack suddenly stopped, and Subaru, frowning, realized too late.
The seven or so books that were thrown at him - all of them were books written entirely in the alphabet.
Subaru raised his head and turned his attention to Beatrice.
As if mocking Subaru, who had belatedly realised her intention, she waved her hand,
"Is that okay? It's just a bit too difficult."
"Just a moment. It's a little too complicated for me, so I might not understand it."
"It's disgusting when you two start talking in baby talk!"
"Oh dear. I was just adjusting my level to match yours."
If Subaru was going to hint at something, he'd go back to the fetus, not the baby.
They communicate by pulling on the umbilical cord and tapping the placenta.
Seeing Subaru's attitude, Beatrice shrugged her shoulders and began opening her book, seemingly giving up on the conversation altogether.
Seeing her cold attitude, Subaru also sat down in a nearby chair and picked up one of the books Beatrice had tossed to him.
I was too embarrassed to express my gratitude, but I was truly happy and grateful for the thought.
※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※
And so, the silence in the Forbidden Library slowly passed.
Neither of them spoke a word, and the only sound that echoed through the library was the slow, alternating sound of pages being turned.
The books that Beatrice chose for me were, as in the previous times, mostly children's works such as fairy tales. Since the request was for only "I characters," which is similar to the request for only hiragana, it is inevitable that the selection would be biased towards children.
Subaru's precious reading time was wasted as he simply had his eyes going back and forth between the same pages.
At first, I had the time to continue reading the book, but as time passed, that mental space was gradually taken away.
--From the closed Forbidden Library, it is impossible to see what is going on outside.
Due to the nature of the room, the Forbidden Archives had no windows and was, as Beatrice had once said, a place "frozen in time."
Not in the literal sense, but at least in the way it feels.
What time is it on the table now?
By the time Subaru was invited into the Forbidden Library, the sun was already setting.
Simply put, if Subaru could just spend about half a day here before the morning of the fifth day arrived, that would be good enough.
However, finding myself in this stagnant place, I was completely unable to gauge the feelings of that mere half day.
It feels like only a short hour has passed since I first came to this room, but it also feels like I've been here for nearly ten hours.
The shortness of breath caused by anxiety and tension also contributed to significantly impairing Subaru's ability to recognize the current situation, and he could no longer trust his own judgment.
Having said that, he also felt guilty about asking Beatrice about it.
It wasn't a feminist idea like not disturbing her while she was reading, but I was scared that taking such action would bring about change.
It's suffocating to spend time in this stagnant state. But what if something were to cause a drastic change in the situation? That's terrifying.
Unable to go forward or back, we simply remain trembling in fear before the overwhelming force of time.
My fingers went numb as I tried to turn the pages of the book, my tongue was dry, my heart was beating at a familiar high-speed, my ears were ringing at a high-pitched noise, and I could hear the sound of my blood pumping all over my body.
I wonder how long they were forced to feel this tension for.
If the beginning was absurd, the end was also unheralded.
"--They're calling me."
Suddenly, such a murmur echoed quietly inside the library.
Subaru looked up as if he had been bounced, and there before his eyes was Beatrice, who had folded the book and set it aside. She climbed down lightly from the stepladder,
"I wonder if they're calling me?"
As if forgetting about Subaru's surprised presence, she muttered to herself and shook her finger.
In an instant, Subaru's whole body felt an uncomfortable sensation, as if space was distorting.
A sensation similar to that of floating assaulted my body from all directions, and even though it only lasted for an instant, a feeling of fatigue and nausea, as if I had been tossed around, spread throughout my entire body.
Subaru stopped himself from slipping off the chair and glared resentfully at Beatrice, the culprit. Then, when she finally noticed his gaze,
"Oh, that's right. I must have forgotten."
"Forgetting someone right in front of you? Even as a joke, that's pretty low class."
"I guess it's a matter of priorities. Nicha is calling for me."
Saying just that, Beatrice walked past Subaru and headed towards the door.
Subaru reached out to her back as she was about to go outside as if it was the most natural thing in the world, and, unable to hide his impatience,
"Hey, wait a second! If we go outside now..."
"You can stay put. You'll be safe here."
Subaru's blood boiled at the way she spoke, not even trying to hide her contempt, and he kicked his chair to his feet and followed her. He put his hand on the door handle, but hesitated for just a few seconds.
However,
"Oh shit. What on earth is this?"
He motivates himself with foul-mouthed remarks and throws the door open violently.
Immediately after――,
"a--"
Subaru couldn't help but let out a silly voice.
I block the bright light that pierces my eyelids with my hand and greet the morning sun with agitation.
Subaru's body stumbled forward, hands raking through the air as if to confirm. At the front of the passageway, there was a window looking out onto the garden - high in the sky, the sun had just begun to rise.
It was the fifth day's sunrise, something I had longed for so much but had never been able to reach no matter how many times I tried.
"Could it be... that we made it through? The fourth night...?!"
Unable to believe the results before his eyes, he slammed his hand against the window and pushed it open, nearly shattering it. A cool breeze blew in, and as it caressed his bangs, Subaru was struck by the vivid scent of morning. The cold, newborn wind blew away the air in the mansion.
My feet dropped and I fell backwards with no strength. My back hit the wall and I slumped, losing the strength to stand.
The only way to describe it is to be stunned.
The current situation is so unimaginable that I can't even tell whether it's a dream or reality.
I had given up. I had lost all hope. I was worn out.
And yet, Subaru had made it through the fourth night and arrived at the fifth day.
"Ha, haha..."
Without realizing it, a dry laugh escaped my lips.
Once it starts spilling, there's no way to stop it.
"Hihi, hahaha. What is this? Hey, what is this? This, hey, haha..."
I can't think of a proper way to put into words how I feel right now.
Hugging his knees, Subaru crouched in the hallway, continuing to laugh as if he had lost his mind.
He couldn't put it into words. He couldn't put it into words. Finally, Subaru――,
Subaru: "ーーSubaru?"
A voice like a silver bell interrupted Subaru's hollow joy.
I reluctantly raised my eyes and saw a silver-haired girl standing at the back of the corridor.
It was Emilia. On the morning of the fifth day, I found her, safe and sound.
The two of them had now passed the fourth night together, and this fact once again caused an incomprehensible emotion to well up in Subaru's heart.
but,
"Emilia...?"
In contrast to Subaru, whose heart was filled with joy, Emilia stared at him in shock. Then she suddenly took off running, rushing over to where Subaru was sitting,
"Subaru...where have you been?"
"No, I..."
"Well... no, that's fine. It's fine... just come with me."
Taking his hand, Subaru stood up, though he was surprised at the forcefulness.
Without even waiting for Subaru's reply, Emilia ran down the corridor, dragging him along with her.
Taken aback by her sudden action, Subaru was about to say something when he saw Emilia's profile and stopped.
Her beautiful profile reveals an unconcealable sense of agitation and frustration.
His expression was reminiscent of the battle at the loot storehouse.
"Hey, what on earth is--"
I couldn't ask if it had happened.
Before he could say those words, another sound struck Subaru's eardrums.
--I think it was a scream. Or perhaps it was a shriek.
It is a high-pitched, lingering cry of the soul, filled with sadness, that cannot help but leave a painful mark in the hearts of those who hear it.
The screams, as if his body had been torn in half, continued endlessly, and even Subaru, who did not understand the situation, was painfully aware of the urgency of the situation.
They left the corridor and headed upstairs. The second floor on the eastern side was where the servants had their own rooms. They passed the room where Subaru had been sleeping until a few days ago, and Emilia, holding his hand, headed further inside――There,
"Roswaal and..."
A man with long indigo hair stood in the hallway, narrowing his eyes at Emilia and Subaru who were rushing towards him. Beatrice was no longer beside him, leaning her back against the wall, and he could see that a grey-furred cat was curled up in her hands.
"Inside."
When Subaru reached the three and tried to question them, Roswaal replied with just one brief word.
He pointed to a private room next door, with the door open.
Turning to look at Emilia, she also nodded to Subaru. Her amethyst eyes were moist, and she was forcing Subaru to make a decision, whether he liked it or not.
Taking a deep breath, Subaru headed towards the room.
The screaming continues unabated as we step in, and it's clear that it's coming from the room directly in front of us now.
Entering inside, Subaru's eyes, which had been closed due to nervousness - gently opened them and saw.
It was a neatly arranged room. Reflecting the meticulous personality of its occupant, the few furnishings in the room were tastefully arranged, and it was clear that the limited space was being used efficiently and efficiently.
The layout itself is almost identical to the room Subaru had used, but it makes you wonder how different the room can become just because of the different occupants.
Thinking this, Subaru forgot for a moment the scene before him.
However, such escapism was in vain, as the world forced a conclusion on Subaru.
In the center of the private room there is a carefully prepared bed.
On that bed,
"Aaaaaahh ...
Ram was screaming so hard with deep, deep sadness that it felt like her throat was about to tear, and tears were flowing freely.
--Clinging to her, Rem lay there, taking her last breath.