Dude: man that was lot of cereal.
Dasch: why regret.
Dude: it was too good to stop.
Dasch: try better next time.
Dude: i won't because i quit cereal actually.
Dasch: you won't make it.
Dude: so far i'm succeeding.
Dasch: it's only been few minutes.
Dude: just gotta keep going.
Dasch: i wonder where you'll end up.
Dude: that i don't know. trying to lose weight. that's all.
Dasch: why so suddenly out of nowhere.
Dude: not looking too sharp. wanna get lean. keep good look.
Dasch: do whatever. if you'd like. just don't ruin anything.
Dude: shouldn't be problem. nothing crazy or unreal.
Dasch: why bother to change though. it's work. you're lazy. it doesn't match.
Dude: time for change. can't be stale and shabby. gotta self-renovate.
Dasch: what do you get from it. ultimately speaking.
Dude: health, fitness... good impression to others?
Dasch: you barely get out. why try impress a few?
Dude: however few still count. if not, how many's worth impressing?
Dasch: i don't know actually. all i know. you have very few.
Dude: actually, don't you have even fewer.
Dasch: that's why i don't do nothin' about my look.
Dude: plus you're just a chunk of fur. not much going on for touch up. maybe you can lose some to your liking.
Dasch: i'm not to be toyed with scissors or anything alike.
Dude: don't you suffocate with furs in summer. i feel like coughing out your furs. my mouth filled with tangled furs.
Dasch: my fur is to be left to the nature's process. you can lose your own hairs. stop coughing furs that way.
Dude: i don't know what makes my hairs hairs and your hairs furs. aren't they tomato and potato?
Dasch: my theory is human hairs are hairs and animal hairs are furs.
Dude: my confusion is humans are animals. so human hairs are still furs.
Dasch: okay, my theory fails. thus new theory. nonhuman hairs are furs and human hairs are hairs.
Dude: hmm legit. airtight. i accept.
Dasch: i guess it's usual pattern. humans just wanna be special. even about something as tiny as hairs.
Dude: sometimes smaller things matter more than larger ones.
Dasch: give me example. i can't let you sound all wise for free.
Dude: i don't know how my brain is shaped.
Dasch: i have some idea what's coming. just say it.
Dude: once again we always come back to the testicles.
Dasch: testicles. here we go again. what more is there about it. can't get more of it by now.
Dude: with all seriousness, both dogs and humans have testicles and they are called the same fair and square.
Dasch: if they went so far to make human furs special as hairs, how do we make sense that they didn't care to make human testicles any special?
Dude: i know when you think about their overall function and importance as reproductive system...
Dasch: i mean they do have names dick and vagina.
Dude: however, there is no guarantee anyone can go around and calling yours a dick or vagina.
Dasch: to be clear, i have a dick.
Dude: see, dick or vagnia doesn't have the special seat reserved for humans like hairs.
Dasch: i never thought your obsession to testicles will bear such fruit of discovery.
Dude: things do come in handy somehow and sometime however noble or vulgar they may be.
Dasch: i understand why we should never underestimate one's taste or preference. i did look down on your attachments to all things testicles. i'm humbled now.
Dude: no big deals. just speaking testicles. that's all.
Dasch: at the same time, i'm amazed how your well never runs dry. you seem to be able to account for all phenomenons just sticking to your testicles method.
Dude: now, i'm aware of my limits and what testicles are capable of. i know my place and their place in this world of cosmos and universe. we can't pretend to be called omniscient or omnipotent as others see fit.
Dasch: don't sell your self short. you never know your limits unless you try.
Dude: the thing is my testicles theory cannot be used too many times on premise. otherwise, they lose vitality and freshness. remember it's like running a grocery store. we never let things go sour and expired. we don't allow any room for spoilage and corruption. it's like we incubate probiotics active and fertile in our yogurts.
Dasch: so you are almost harvesting and gardening your testicles theories like sacks of grapefruits and well-aged wines kept secure in underground cellar.
Dude: yes, we make sure to diversify our testicles wines so that we have no trouble meeting special needs of various occasions. we keept them fresh and ready to be shipped out, when space and time calls for the magic of metaphors and analogy from testicles theories.
Dasch: i'm astounded and mesmerized by their scale, depth, and wonderful significance. would you even carefully suggest that testicles theories can potentially be the ultimate theory of all things? i'm sure this won't be revealed outside our conversation or be published on Nature's magazine. i just hope to know it's deepest implication.
Dude: if things flow as they should and the testicles do not lose their shine and relevance, dare may i say they will completely explain all things in this universe. They will complete the connection between Einstein's Relativity and Quantum Mechanics Theory. All skepticisms, casts of doubts, and shadow of ignorance will be cleared away, bringing in a new golden era of Renaissance. thanks to the potential and existence of testicles theories.
Dasch: splendid. astounding. magnificent. my fart stopped. my heart stopped. this is euphoria.
Dude: we just let time and space do their own thing. we shall continue to be what we have been.
Dasch: i however, confess i have to step aside to complete my shitting i've been holding hard since few eons ago.
Dude: off you go. off you go. our discovery remains safe unrotten. i shall follow your trail to outlet my cascade of piss. hopefully our philosophy do not leak out. let us be wise and meticulous in our business.
Dasch walks out, followed by Dude. They part ways, heading to their respective spots. Silence ensues while great deals get taken care of.