Dasch: i wanna beat up pinata.
Dude why does it deserve such violence.
Dasch: it's what it's for. you're supposed to beat it up real good. it's a cardboard horse with stuffing in it.
Dude can't it be a pig instead.
Dasch: i don't see why not. back the point. you gotta pound and smash it hard until it tears open. then stuffing will burst and pour out. that's the prize.
Dude that's gonna create a mess. who wants to clean that up.
Dasch: no one really cares about that. they just want to cook and pop that pinata.
Dude poor pinata. does it get to be repiared.
Dasch: once again, no one really cares about that either. you just focus on smashing it. no brainer.
Dude who gets all the prizes.
Dasch: it's up for grabs. you gotta be ready and quick when it opens.
Dude so you can let others do all the fun beating and just take all the goodies without even touching it once.
Dasch: that's kinda super obnoxious. but it's allowed.
Dude it's like you can just let the butcher do the bloody work and just get the good meat.
Dasch: once again, not really cool but it's not illegal.
Dude i just don't want to participate in beating the poor pinata.
Dasch: it's just a cardboard, made up horse. that soft feeling is unnecessary.
Dude why couldn't it just be a sphere ball instead.
Dasch: dude, it's not a real horse. just a simple game. why do you gotta be so much pain.
Dude it's just one helpless innocent thing. clueless about why it gets so much beating.
Dasch: okay, you know what. you should never ever play pinata. you're gonna ruin it for everyone.
Dude i wouldn't want to be friends with such heartless people in the first place. i do have standards when it comes to making friends.
Dasch: if you can't tolerate pinata, there aren't many left for you.
Dude well, at least, i know what brutal dog you 're.
Dasch: we have our differences. just know that even as we speak, there are lots of people beating up pinata right now.
Dude imagine there's pinata shaped like a daschund. now, how would you feel about that.
Dasch: don't be ridiculous. no one wants daschund pinata.
Dude well, horses and donkeys have four legs and tail. and you are exactly that. i warn you. you're not too far away from becoming pinata.
Dasch: now everytime i see pinata. i'm gonna see myself. it will never be the same pinata it was. are you satisfied you decimated my pinata fantasy.
Dude no, not quite. i want you to give pinata beating
your one last final look. i want you to see the whole thing from beginning to end. from beating to bursting. see if you feel any beating or something burst inside.
Dasch: you've ruined it and made your point. is it necessary to go extra miles to subject me to watching pinata massacre? at this point, you're not so different from pinata beaters. you're beating me just like them.
Dude never have i laid my hands on you. don't you compare you and those poor pinatas outthere. you're killing them twice by undermining their pain.
Dasch: i don't know where this special bond between you and these pinatas came from. why don't you take all the beatings on behalf of them instead of sitting here and pretending to care about them with meaningless speech lecture. i'm sure they will appreciate their messiah.
Dude first of all, i don't wanna die. second, i'm not a pinata. third, i didn't initiate pinata beating. so i don't deserve any beatings. you're turning the blame on me. it should be on pinata killers like you. i have a clean record. it's off the record but you all are organized criminals. unloading unresolved hatred and stress on helpless pinatas.
Dasch: now you're criminalizing pinata? well, that would make mexico, capital exporter of pinata murders. since whole pinata thing started sometime in mexico.
Dude you know they have mafias. that makes you a member of pinata mafias. the mafia is having international reach. they've got you.
Dasch: you're taking this too far. pinatas are not associated with mafias. if real mafias know about this ridiculous imagination of yours, you will surely become their easy target. i advise you stop messing with this idea and getting on their nerves.
Dude i will stand my ground. i know where i've gotten myself into. i'm not gonna let pinatas get abused and violated. you're just an idle spectator. celebrating and laughing with mafias. is this how you want to be remembered in history. don't you have any sense of justice.
Dasch: pinatas are just family events. i can't subscribe to your wild conspiracy. you can be all crazy you want. just leave me alone. i am sticking to pinatas.
Dude just wait for a news where mafias stuff and traffic all sorts of illegal gizmos and thingies. burst open to find your fellow mafias inside, all sweaty and breathing heavy with question marks. soon enough, they will be transferred and interrogated to spell your name out. you'll be spawned to never return home. whether you like it or not, they will put you in a cage cell. remember you were put in a transparent display box in a pet shop? well, guess what this time, there will be no visitors to adopt you. you will forever rot in that jail because of your stupid mistake about poor pinatas.
Dasch: i think none of that exists. so you're actually giving them all these ideas. you'll be the one responsible for such happening. since you came up with this whole trafficking scheme. i had no say or part in this. you're prophesizing dark future that will fulfill itself, according to your baseless fear and hysteria. you're the pinata mafia, the founder in its own making. pinatas were just plain pinatas. but now they're no longer the same because of your nonsense anxiety.
Dude just wait until it happens before your eyes. i've foretold. i've done my best in the interests of all innocent minorities of pinatas vulnerable to systemic and institutional violence. i will no longer stress about it. i gave sufficient warning and speech to convert you. all but in vain. how unfruitful it has been. i'm tired. no further. the end. you unwise creature.
Dasch: fine by me. there's no use or progress after all. get lost.
Dude i'm not leaving. i'm gonna order.
Dasch: yeah, stuff yourself with artery blocking pizzas and fries. i will beat you to burst like pinatas.
Dude don't you dictate what i'm going to eat.
Dasch: well, what else could it be. probably, other junk foods.
Dude i'm on a strict diet. trying to get healthy. lots of beans and vegies packed with fibers and proteins. not gonna tell you. now get lost.
Dasch walks out. Dude scrolls down his phone to check out his order. The receipt says: "Thank you for ordering at La Casa Taco Mamamia. L-Size Soft Tacos: 2, M-Size Chicken Burritos: 2, 5p Quesadilla."