Want to read 50+ chapters ahead from here or just want to support take a visit on my patreon.
Link ---> patreon.com/V22
-
"How is Wattles using that, anyway, I thought only a female body can use a Faust Robe, that's what my stepmom says, and she would know," Hibikii pointed out.
"Apparently, God is on my side!" Wattles declared.
"… No, really, how are you doing it?" Hibiki asked.
"I used a fragment of the True Cross to trick the Shroud into believing I am a woman," Wattles admitted.
"Ohhhhhhhhhh," almost everyone said, except for Kirika and Shirabe, who uttered "Death" and "Stare."
"Yeah, well, that thing doesn't belong to you anymore, it's property of the Queen of Lemuria, so take it off before I turn you into a Holy Ghost!" Chris threatened, pointing her heavy artillery at the cassowary.
"Actually, Chris, I'm not sure any of us want to see that," Miku pointed out.
The other Valkyries nodded fervently.
"… Right! Good point! And yes, I'm aware of the hypocrisy of that statement considering what all of us are wearing now," Chris admitted. "But in my defense, we're all young and pretty cute women and you're….a bird."
"Ah, but I am not simply a bird...I am..." Wattles said, as he cast off his robes he wore underneath the Shroud of Turin, revealing he was wearing a German military uniform underneath, an armband with a swastika on it on his cybernetic left arm, his beak's tip resembling a toothbrush mustache and having sharp wolf teeth, and his skin started rotting, revealing cybernetics and bone underneath, and the bird began to say, "Ad-"
"Charlie Chaplin!" Hibiki exclaimed.
Everyone stared at her.
"Hibiki, that's apparently a cassowary zombie cyborg Blutbad Adolf Hitler," Drakus said slowly.
Hibiki laughed nervously and scratched the back of her head. "Right. Um. That was my second guess."
"To be fair, Chaplin did play a parody of Hitler in The Great Dictator, his first true sound film," Maria pointed out.
"I hated that movie!" The cassowary who was apparently also Adolf Hitler snapped.
"Somehow that does not come as a surprise," Tsubasa said.
"Okay, first of all, what the hell," Chris said calmly. "Second of all, WHAT THE HELL?!"
Maria gasped. "Of course! It all makes sense now!"
"It does?" Lyre asked.
"It's so obvious!" Serena agreed. "All the clues were hidden in plain sight!"
"They were?" Neo asked.
"Yes, this has been heavily foreshadowed since the very beginning!" Tsubasa exclaimed.
"It… Has?" Kisame wondered.
"Death death!"
"Staaaaare."
"Okay, seriously, are you guys messing with us right now, or-" Daphne remarked.
"I am sure you all are wondering how I, Adolf Hitler, can stand before you, a century after my supposed death, and as a cassowary!" The great dictator, now apparently a bird, declared, a flowing cape that doubled as the Babylon flag, that being a cobalt blue and jet black cape with the symbol of an eagle holding a shark-like creature and a snake-like creature in its talons while holding a burning swastika in its beak, generating behind him.
"Not really," Hibikii said.
"We've encountered and fought so many historical figures who turned out to have faked their deaths and prolonged their lifespans by alchemical means now this sort of thing doesn't really faze us anymore," Maria said.
"I can't believe I got to have an orgy with Cleopatra, Amelia Ehrhardt, Catherine the Great, Anastasia, Mary Shelley, Elizabeth II, and Lady Gaga," Tsubasa said with a grin. "And I got their numbers!"
The Summerween Trickster looked at Tsubasa, confused. "I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that." He stated.
Wattles/Hitler looked rather put out at this. "… Right. Well. I'm going to tell you anyway-"
"Once you got your plan to avenge your civilization off the ground, you traveled the world, stealing certain relics to figure out where the exact tools needed to summon Karkas were at, and used the heretical technology the Nazis were able to amass during the war, including the relics that would later be used to create many of our Symphogears, and were able to make yourself superhuman, or in this case, a super Babylonian, in an attempt to become immortal," Maria theorized.
"Er…yes, but-"
"Unfortunately, you were unable to mass-produce these results or turn the heretical technology into the wonder weapons you dreamt of to win the war, and when the Allies invaded and you realized you had no chance of winning, you sent as much heretical technology as you could to your allies in South America then faked your death with the intention of waiting until the heat was off so you could resurface in South America and resume your study of heretical technology to trigger another war, but for whatever reason, were unable to do so," Tsubasa continued.
"That's… How did-"
"Death death! Death death death death! Death death death death death death death!" Kirika said.
"Staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare," Shirabe added.
"All right, all right! You're right about everything!" Wattles snapped, infuriated. "As well as the part about me starting the Holocaust to gather enough test subjects and sacrifices to try and get the heretical technology working...it was truly nothing personal, the technology required blood from mystically inclined people, and the Jews were somehow a perfect fit, as well as the Gypsies. And apparently, quite a lot of other people were of a mystical persuasion back then."
Kisame looked at Kirika and Shirabe, confused. "Also, did anyone get what the hell they said?"
"Yeah, they do that a lot." Martin said, and the squad looked more confused.
"Then why did you say you hate them so much?" Hibikii asked, having trouble comprehending so much callousness.
"If I were to list the reasons why, we'd be here all day, you can read it in my actual autobiography," Wattles said dismissively.
"I probably won't, sorry," Hibiki apologized.
"Hibiki, don't apologize to Adolf Hitler!" Satsuki hissed.
"Just because it's Hitler doesn't mean we have to be rude!" Hibikii retorted.
Miku nodded in agreement. Chris rolled her eyes.
"So why didn't you start from scratch in South America?" Tsubasa asked.
"After faking my death using wizardry-" Wattles began.
"You mean alchemy?" Serena interjected.
"No, I'm a wizard, not an alchemist, there's a difference," Wattles replied.
"Oh."
"Wizards are real?" Kisame asked.
"Apparently," Maria said.
"After faking my death using wizardry," Wattles said loudly. "I hid in one of the crates of heretical technology being sent to South America and put myself into stasis until I arrived and could be revived by my followers.
Want to read 50+ chapters ahead from here or just want to support take a visit on my patreon.
Link ---> patreon.com/V22
---------------------
---------------------