Jules:
Jules had remained next to Alexei the rest of the evening, even now with him sleeping soundly, his mind dark and silent once again, Jules could barely convince himself to stand. Both his mind and body seemed to be protesting even the smallest of movements. A part of him was tempted to stay there, to curl up beside Alexei until his head no longer ached and his limbs went numb, maybe he would even fall asleep if he was lucky, but he brushed the thoughts away. He had burdened Alexei enough already, it was best they did not talk anymore. It was terrifying to have told him so much, and even if he had not judged Jules yet, he would. He just could not see it, could not see the cracks, could not see how broken he was, the thoughts he had to restrain every day.
He stood slowly, leaning against the wall until his legs felt stable enough for him to walk, black spots bleeding into his vision for a moment before they finally cleared. As he opened the door, he ran straight into Cassius, tripping backwards until Cassius quickly grabbed his arm, righting him.
"Jules, what a pleasant surprise, I was just about to speak with you," he greeted, not at all phased by the collision.
His emotions hit Jules hard, stabbing and twisting their way into his head even as he screamed internally. He did not want to feel them, they hurt, ached in a way no physical pain could ever match, but he was powerless to stop them, powerless to control his own ability. It was pathetic, useless, he was always useless.
"How do you feel?" Cassius questioned.
Jules did not want to answer his questions, did not want to think about reality again after tasting peace.
"You might want to check on Alexei, he seemed a bit ill," Jules muttered, trying to keep walking, but his strength faltered, the wall the only thing keeping him from hitting the floor.
Cassius sighed, his annoyance flooding into Jules as well as his pain. He was injured, and worried, or was it himself that was worried? He was not entirely sure.
"I just feel a little weak from sitting so long and I haven't had my medicine," he mumbled, pushing off the wall again. Standing still should not have taken as much effort as it did. He hated his weak body, hated how pitiful it still made him feel, how they were right.
"It's getting worse, isn't it? We're running out of solutions," Cassius stated, offering his arm to help support Jules's weight.
He knew Cassius was right, that he was a living ghost, a soul simply hauling around a corpse. In truth, Jules had known for a while now that he was fracturing into pieces, that his mind was not the only broken part. Soon there would be nothing left of him but dust, but for now he clung to his useless life. He was weak for that as well, weak for simply existing without providing anything in return, for longing for something, for someone that he should not want, would never have. Peace was not something he deserved, he had forgotten that. Even if they did not realize it yet, all of them would eventually see him as he truly was.
"You will be alright until we're back from this trip, right Jules?" Cassius asked.
"It won't be an issue," he lied.
He was not entirely sure how long his body would hold out, how long he could force himself to keep moving, to keep pretending, but he could not be a burden. Cassius had done enough.
"We will need to enter the main city tomorrow, so get some rest. If the others come asking for me tell them that Elaine and I have gone out for dinner and not to look for us," he stated, slowly letting go of Jules before walking off, a slight spring in his step and a fading bit of excitement worming into Jules's head as he left.
Jules could understand those feelings, they did not feel alien to him as others had. He felt that same warmth and comfort every time he was near Alexei, but he never quite understood why. He supposed it was because he was so quiet, even when Jules had felt his emotions it never seemed to hurt the way the others did, it felt natural, right like nothing else did.
"Julian? What are you still doing here?" a groggy voice murmured from the doorway.
"I fell asleep." A lie. He could not tell Alexei even the thought of moving had hurt, could not tell him how he had wanted to stay to simply watch him sleep. That was not normal, and he had to be normal. Normal meant he was better, that he was right.
He already missed feeling Alexei's emotions, missed the reassurance that he was not being a bother, that he was saying the right words, that he was not boring.
"Are you hungry because man I'm starving," Alexei answered, running his hands through his curly hair, only succeeding in making it stick out in all directions. It gave him an unruly look, it fit him well.
"Cassius and Elaine went to eat, but he said not to look for them," he stated.
"Well, then we won't. I guarantee they went somewhere fancy, while us, my friend, we are going to hit the nearest tavern. No Cas no rules about alcohol," Alexei responded, smiling broadly, his joy weirdly infectious despite his head being a blank slate in Jules's mind.
"What's this about hitting taverns?" Aspen called, approaching them from down the hallway, Ptolemus following a bit behind her, his annoyance and discomfort shooting through Jules's mind, corrupting the happiness he had felt only moments before.
He could see Ptolemus's string, knew it would not be terribly hard to snap it, to make it silent, to watch him bleed red across the floor, but he held back. He could not do that, it was not right, not normal.
"Unfortunately my lovely underage sister, you aren't allowed on this excursion and I don't treat bratty princes to meals either," he said, patting her shoulder.
"You're also underage," she pointed out, glaring.
"That is completely beside the point."
"That is one hundred percent on point."
"Oh c'mon, don't ruin my fun, you're as bad as Cas," he whined, pouting.
"Of course someone as unsophisticated as you is a drunkard," Ptolemus muttered.
"And your sophisticated ass is absolutely zero fun. Isn't it your bedtime or something?" Alexei countered.
"If almost everyone here is underage shouldn't we just avoid alcohol," Jules whispered. It seemed like the logical decision.
"You and so is Elaine, but I've watched her down Cas's most expensive wine in one sitting without even batting an eye. It'll be fine, what could go wrong?"
Jules was pretty positive that quite a lot could go wrong, but he decided to stay silent.
"Alexei, I've seen you pass out after a single drink," Aspen remarked.
"I'm hungry, are you lot coming or not?" he called, already dramatically skipping down the hallway.
Jules walked after him, his own stomach rumbling, and soon more footsteps and cursing followed.
As Alexei had said, they did in fact enter the nearest tavern, a place so loud Jules was tempted to flee, followed by a smell so foul even Alexei looked sickened. He could not help but wonder how Cassius and Elaine were faring, probably much better than this, but he should not complain. Some food was better than no food.
"Oh hell no," Ptolemus said loudly, covering his nose and mouth as if afraid he would catch some sort of disease.
"Is this the atmosphere you were looking for?" Aspen muttered, her annoyance spiking enough for Jules's own mood to plummet.
"Maybe we should try somewhere," he suggested quietly, rubbing his head.
"Yeah fine, Cassius might kill us if we start a bar fight night one," Alexei conceded, walking back toward the exit quickly.
Jules was thankful to be back outside, the night air fresh and smelling strongly of salt. The streets were mostly dark in this area, loud shouts ringing out from all the nearby bars, people stumbling out doors and huddling in alleyways. Jules had never seen anything like this, most of his life had been spent studying walls and catching small glimpses of life outside dusty windows, even after he had joined Cassius he had barely ventured into the city at all. It made him sick.
Aspen took the lead in searching for a suitable place, finally approaching a small inn. From what he could see outside the windows there did not seem to be many patrons, but it looked and smelled a good bit more acceptable, so no one said a word as she pushed open the door. A small golden bell jingled as they entered, catching the attention of the lone server sitting in the back. As they sat Alexei stayed standing, glaring down at Ptolemus.
"What? Can I not even exist now?"
"I want the seat facing the door," he insisted.
"Why does it matter, are you a child?" Ptolemus demanded, not budging an inch.
"Well, your highness, I'm sure you aren't used to things like this, so allow me to educate you. This is the perfect place to get jumped. You think you're showing off your status by flaunting all that nice jewelry, but really you are just sending out a beacon for every thief worth his salt to attack us. I think everyone would prefer that the only one of us with a weapon be facing the goddamn door," he explained.
Ptolemus did not say another word, standing silently and taking a seat beside Aspen instead. Jules could feel his disgust as he glanced around, eyeing the empty glasses still sitting on their table.
"What, does this not suit your sophisticated tastes, your highness?" Alexei asked sarcastically.
"Alexei," Aspen warned.
"This is possibly the filthiest-" he broke off as she clapped a hand over his mouth, effectively silencing him as a rather exhausted woman approached. Jules could relate.
"What do you want?" she asked, eyes narrowing as she looked each of them over, eyes snagging on Ptolemus's rings, her mood immediately brightening. It seems Alexei had been right.
"Any type of soup you have," Aspen responded, smiling brightly.
She confused Jules, she always showed one thing, yet her emotions had always been dark, direct opposites of her cheerful smiles and almost caring actions. She gave him the most headaches, her emotions a constant storm, often contradicting each other as if there were multiple people in her head.
"Any type of beer and soup you have," Alexei said, flashing the woman a grin.
She did not bother asking for his age before turning to Ptolemus.
"I want your finest and most expensive cut of meat on your menu. Filet mignon maybe?"
The woman nodded eagerly, looking very pleased if not a little confused by the request. There was not a menu in sight, but Jules had the feeling whatever their most expensive meat was, it would not be what Ptolemus was expecting.
"Soup please," Jules whispered, wondering for the first time since they arrived which of them would be paying for all of this. He had not even thought to bring money.
The woman bustled off, whistling quietly to herself.
"The most expensive thing, really?" Aspen muttered, shooting a withering look towards Ptolemus.
"What, don't tell me you're broke," he countered.
Alexei leaned forward, his smile so wide it was practically blinding. Jules was not sure why he could possibly be so happy, was he that excited to have food?
"Would now be a good time to mention I don't have a penny to my name?" he whispered.
Jules did not believe that was something to smile about.
"What?" Aspen shouted, looking panicked before lowering her voice again. "We should leave before they finish preparing anything."
"Here is the beer you ordered," the woman announced cheerfully, plopping it down in front of Alexei, Aspen flinched.
"You're a prince aren't you? Shouldn't you have money, Ptolemus?"
"Excuse me for assuming the one inviting me to dinner would be paying. Did you know that's common courtesy?" he answered, making a show of turning out his empty pockets.
"Quick, go sell your shirt or something, surely that would be enough," Alexei suggested, making a shooing motion.
"How dare you-"
"Someone should go find Cas," Aspen interrupted, Ptolemus abruptly quieting as disbelief and anger ran through him.
"But Cassius said not to bother them," Jules whispered.
"Well this is clearly an emergen- Don't you dare drink that, Alexei Scaevan Brooks!" she yelled, slapping his hand away from the beer and successfully drawing the attention of the waitress along with everyone else in the room.
"Is there a problem here? Is the drink not to your liking, sir?" the lady questioned.
"None at all, ma'am," Alexei answered hurriedly.
She eyed them, suspicion bubbling up and flooding into Jules. This was probably not good.
"Could we uh…Cancel our orders?" Aspen asked cheerfully, but Jules could feel her panic and anger.
"No refunds," the woman answered, hands on her hips.
"Right, of course, thank you," Alexei said, grabbing the beer and taking a sip.
"Alexei!" Aspen exclaimed.
"What, we aren't getting out of this, might as well enjoy. It'll probably all be on Cas anyways."
Jules got the feeling Cassius was not going to be pleased with them.
"I'll go search for him, you three…Please don't start a fight or something," Aspen announced, standing and half running for the door.
"Cas is going to be pissed we're crashing his date night," Alexei stated.
No one responded, the three of them sitting in silence as Alexei drank, already calling for another. He did not have the best track record with alcohol, Jules could still remember the last incident which had landed all of them in jail for the massive brawl that had broken out. Alexei was still wanted for several murders in that city.
"In case you forgot, dumbass, we don't even have the money for the first beer, much less a second," Ptolemus said, glaring.
"If I knew Cassius would be paying I would've ordered the same as you, it'll be fine," he replied, shrugging.
"He's going to be upset," Jules whispered, feeling slightly weak from hunger. When was the last time he had eaten? He could not quite remember, he forgot to eat quite often.
"He'll get over it."
"Why does Cassius even tolerate such pests?" Ptolemus questioned.
"We must be better company than you."
Ptolemus laughed, a deep bitterness rising up inside him.
"Yeah, I guess even a bunch of criminals are better than his useless brother, huh?"