The morning began, as all Kaia's mornings apparently did now, with the violent protest of her muscles and a groan so deep it might have summoned spirits from the underworld.
She rolled over in her bed at Fairy Hills, face mushed into the pillow, limbs heavy as lead. Her body whispered no, screamed that she was still recovering from witnessing Erza and Mirajane try to kill each other over her metaphorical custody. Her left knee ached like it had developed opinions. Her spine crackled like old parchment.
"System," she mumbled. "Can I use stat points to sleep through today?"
[Stat points cannot be used to ignore pain or social obligations. However, crying is free.]
"…Thanks."
After a long internal negotiation, she finally peeled herself out of bed and into her new combat outfit: dark coat, glowing bracer, confidence forged in sarcasm and poor life choices. When she stepped outside, the sun was blindingly cheerful rude, given the grim future awaiting her.
Outside the guild gates, Erza and Mirajane were already waiting.
Erza stood with the posture of a military general, arms crossed, expression unreadable. Mirajane, in contrast, smiled like the sunrise itself sweet, innocent, and deeply suspicious.
Kaia had the distinct feeling that between the two of them, only one would make it out of today's session unscathed.
And she doubted it was her.
"Ready for your first real training?" Erza asked.
"No," Kaia replied honestly.
"Excellent."
Mirajane beamed. "Don't worry, sweetie. We'll be gentle."
Erza narrowed her eyes. "We will be thorough."
Kaia looked up to the heavens. "May I request reincarnation as a cabbage?"
[No. You're on a multi-life contract now.]
The training ground was a quiet, grassy field near the hills, magically reinforced and long since abandoned by local wildlife for obvious reasons.
Erza stepped forward and unsheathed a blade with a ringing note of finality.
"Phase One," she declared. "Sword control. Precision. Footwork."
Mirajane raised an elegant brow. "So we're going straight for the trauma, then?"
"It's essential," Erza said.
Kaia already had a wooden training sword in hand and the kind of expression worn by people who had once been hit by a flying pumpkin.
"Stance," Erza ordered.
Kaia spread her feet.
"Wider."
She adjusted.
"Back straight."
Kaia straightened.
"Lower."
Kaia lowered.
"Why do I feel like I'm about to become a chair?" she muttered.
[Correct. You are now in 'Chair Pose: Regret Edition'.]
And then it began.
Erza moved like a storm wrapped in silk, graceful yet terrifying. She circled Kaia, correcting her grip, her weight distribution, even the tilt of her eyebrows.
"Focus," she said.
"I'm trying not to faint."
"Good. That builds endurance."
Kaia practiced strikes until her arms shook, her breath burned, and her knees made legally actionable noises. Every time she lowered her sword too early, Erza blocked it with a lightning-fast flick of her own blade, creating sparks that sizzled in the air.
"Again."
"No."
"Again."
"I'm suing."
"Again."
When Erza finally stepped back, Mirajane clapped her hands cheerfully.
"My turn!"
Kaia swayed.
Mirajane transformed in a heartbeat Satan Soul flooding across her skin, hair lengthening, eyes glowing.
"Let's work on magical resistance," she said sweetly, her voice now touched with the dark resonance of demon magic.
Kaia squinted. "How is that gentle?"
"Oh, I won't hit you," Mirajane promised. "You'll hit me. And if you don't land a hit, well—"
A ball of black energy formed in her palm.
Kaia blinked. "This feels illegal."
"Attack," Mirajane said, and smiled.
Kaia lunged, conjuring Chrono-Flux around her blade, trying to blink behind her target only to get caught mid-jump by a ripple of dark wind.
She skidded across the field, rolled once, and popped up covered in grass and dignity loss.
"Again!" Mira called.
Kaia tried a feint. It almost worked.
Almost.
By mid-afternoon, Kaia had bruises in places she didn't know had bones. Her arms were trembling, her eyes blurry from dodging demonic tendrils and narrowly avoiding Erza's training blade.
Both mentors circled her now like elegant, magical vultures.
"She lacks upper-body control," Erza noted.
"And her time magic fizzles under emotional pressure," Mira added.
Kaia raised her hand weakly. "I'm right here."
Erza stepped forward. "Final test. Simulation battle. Mirajane and I will summon constructs. You'll survive."
"That's it?" Kaia asked, already wary.
Erza gave a tight smile. "We'll each try to prove our method works best."
"Oh."
Kaia's brain caught up.
"Oh no."
The air shimmered.
From Erza's side, a battalion of floating swords materialized, arranged like a deadly constellation.
From Mirajane's hand, a writhing horde of shadowy wolves formed, each with glowing eyes and the general vibe of tax evasion.
"You have sixty seconds," Erza said.
"To do what?!"
"Survive," Mirajane answered.
Kaia didn't scream, but it was close.
The wolves pounced first.
Kaia blinked sideways, time-ripple slashing across the ground behind her. She summoned her Chrono-Blade and deflected two magical swords, then ducked a shadow wolf as it leapt over her, snarling.
"Why do they have fangs?!" she cried.
[Good news: your reflex stat is improving. Bad news: so is your stress level.]
One of the floating swords grazed her arm, and her bracer glowed Chrono-Instinct flaring with a shudder of violet light. She bent time for a half-second, enough to dive under a wolf and roll toward the nearest rock.
From the sidelines, Levy watched with a sandwich halfway to her mouth.
"This is... intense."
Natsu grinned. "This is awesome!"
Gray shrugged. "I think her boots are on fire."
"WHAT?!" Kaia screamed from the field.
She stomped out the flame, blocked a sword, elbowed a wolf in the face, and tripped backward into a tree.
"I WAS PROMISED A D-RANK LIFE."
"Adapt," Erza called.
"Smile more," Mirajane chimed in.
Kaia stood, panting, hair a mess, coat torn, face smudged with dirt and potential betrayal.
Then she raised her sword.
"Fine," she said. "Let's go, magic nightmares."
She leapt , time warped It was chaos , It was… oddly thrilling.
Ten minutes later, Kaia collapsed to the ground in a heap of exhaustion, her coat smoking faintly, her boots half-melted, her hair pointing in seven directions.
Both Mirajane and Erza approached.
"Well done," Erza said. "You didn't die."
"I tried," Kaia wheezed.
"You show promise," Mirajane added, kneeling beside her. "Next time, I'll teach you how to corrupt shadows."
"No thanks," Kaia said. "I think I just corrupted my spine."