I just stood there, not really reacting at the time, while my brain just... disconnected. I'm getting really fed up with what's going on in this labyrinth. Seriously though, this shithole is giving me migraines worthy of a shovel festival.
"System... Tell me it's a trauma-induced illusion.
[Negative.]
Of course it is. Because why would it be a dream, right? Why should it just be my brain cracking and not some real giant piece of shit that's planning to stare at me with the intention of digesting me?
Can't I have thirty seconds of peace here or what?
I really need to take a holiday - but like now. Except, news flash: I haven't found a single place in this bloody labyrinth that screams "rest". Apart from under a dead snake, and even then I'm not even sure they'd let me rot in peace.
"Anyway. Analyse this."
[The skill has reached the required level. The skill [LV2 Analysis] has become [LV3 Analysis].
Oh, that's interesting. Let's just say I'm hoping it'll finally give me a bit more information than "big bad beast, beware of danger".
[Arch Taratect - Level 1]
...
Arch Taratect. OK, so it's clearly a spider. But Arch, really? You've got a final boss name there.
"Level 1? She must be weak then?"
[Misinterpretation: the level doesn't mean anything. It simply indicates that she's a new Taratect, still in the early stages of her species].
...Ok. So she's a baby, but she can already take me down without messing up her hair. Brilliant. No, but really, this is just happiness.
I stare at the paw. Of course, she's not moving. Maybe it's calculating its angle of attack? Yes, maybe she's letting me savour my last few seconds of hope.
I turn round with a jerk and sprint off with the baby against me. I don't want to test her reflexes live.
"So now it's the evolved versions? Like the shiny Pokémon from the Labyrinth?"
I look down at the baby. It's looking at me. He doesn't get it, obviously. He's so lucky. He doesn't even have trauma. Well, not yet, given the history of babies falling over...
"You didn't ask for anything. And neither did I. But I guess in this world, existing is already a provocation."
And that's when I hear the noise.
A dry, dirty, deep rumble. The sound of a rock shattering like an egg under a heel, having broken through the rockslide.
And then she starts screaming.
And it's a fucking shrill, metallic scream that goes through my skull like a white-hot spike.
I grit my teeth, the baby against me, because even my eardrums want to quit.
And then I see them.
Dozens... no, hundreds of little spiders chasing me, all in full nightmare chase mode.
For God's sake... don't tell me they're the same bastards as before?
They come out of the hole the tall one has just opened, and even if she had just released a wave of spiders - or rather a bloody black tide of legs and fangs - it's shit in both cases.
She steps aside and lets them pass, quiet style.
What the fuck is she doing? Sending me her kids? Are you serious? That's her plan?
"Here, go and play with Mummy. Devour that stranger on the way!"
They burst in like a miniature army. All fast and fairly coordinated. In fact, they're clearly hungry.
I'm running - yes, again - this time, but much faster. Every step sounds like a fucking countdown.
My breath burns, while my heart pounds in my temples like a badly-tuned war drum.
"System! Is it legal to do that?!"
[Stupid thought. There are no rules in Elroe's Great Labyrinth.]
"...Obviously."
I jump over a rock, avoid a growth, feel something brush my leg.
Too close. But it's too close. Because they want to eat me alive.
And the worst thing? They seem happy to do it.
I keep running, further and further, faster and faster, while the tunnel pitches in my vision. But I don't care. If I fall, I'll die. And if I slow down, I get eaten. It's pretty simple to understand.
And then I see light. It's literally the end of the tunnel.
"I should be having better luck now.
But it's not an exit, no. That would be too good.
It's a fucking abyss. A glowing, vibrating void... a lake of lava.
I stop dead in my tracks, seconds away from the void, as the ground literally stops at my feet. Opposite? Just burning steam, an ocean of liquid death, and a few rocky platforms floating around as if someone had thought it funny to do parkour in a volcano.
I turn round as the spiders arrive - and this time en masse. They're running like their lives depend on it. Spoiler: it's my life, not theirs.
"You're not going to tell me this is where I have to make a choice."
And then I feel a rumbling. Something much heavier and more serious. Like the final boss at the end of an act.
I turn round.
And I see it.
The big spider. That big Arch Taratect. It's managed to get through - but how? The tunnel's pretty narrow, so I've no idea. But there it is. Crawling fast. She takes up the whole tunnel with her big hellish paws.
I notice that on the way through, she doesn't hesitate to puncture her own family members with her paws.
"No no no no no..."
I hold the baby close as it whimpers. Or is it me? In the end, I don't know.
Just one thought in my head: don't stay here.
And then, of course, my brain does what it does best: comes up with a shit idea.
"Right... we're going to test gravity. And bullshit."
I take a step back and stare at Arch while I give him the mental finger.
Then I jump straight into the void, as the air whips around my face.
The void swallows me.
The baby screams.
And what about me? I scream too, with a long, desperate, shrill cry... full of regret.
"WHY AM I DOING THIS?!
I swoop down straight into hell, and then - miracle - the first flying bug passes beneath me. A flying thing, like a mutant bat on steroids.
I half-crash into it, it screeches, it loses its balance.
"SORRY, NO TIME FOR AIRMANSHIP MANUALS!
I bounce, propelling myself towards a rock, sliding down it, my claws catching on the hot stone.
I leap back onto another bug - this time a giant flying centipede with flaming wings (because of course it's a thing). I use it as a springboard and it starts screaming. He's mad at me. I don't care.
I jump again, with the baby snuggled up to me like a screaming cuddly toy.
And then I suddenly see it: a shoreline.
A half-solid spit of rock, a little too far away, but there.
I jump one last time.
My foot slips on the shell of a giant toad floating on the lava (yeah, no, I don't know why it floats either), and it swings me in the right direction.
The impact is violent, causing me to roll and crash as I sprawl like a turd.
But I'm on solid ground.
I'm coughing, with a bawling baby. My body is screaming at me that I'm a complete idiot.
But I'm alive.
I raise my arm to the sky.
"Fuck you, gravity!"
At this point, I glance towards the tunnel, purely out of unhealthy curiosity. And of course I immediately regret it.
There she is.
The Arch Taratect. She's looking at me - from a distance, yes, but I can see her face clearly. Well, what's in her face. Her eyes are shining with pure fury. The "I was going to play with you, you little shit, and you've ruined my playtime" vibe.
She lets out a scream.
A scream that shakes the air. Something guttural, furious, grotesque.
And without missing a beat, she propels herself straight into the void.
I blink.
"What's she doing there?
She lands on the same giant bat as I did earlier.
Except, spoiler alert: it's not the same weight.
The poor thing doesn't even have time to squeal before it crashes like a pigeon poo under a five-tonne rock.
"It's called karma.
But no, of course not.
The spider had planned this, unfortunately.
It pulls a spider's thread straight towards the wall, holds on, and starts swinging like a disgusting mix between Tar
zan and a serial killer.
As she passes, she rips the wings off the creature, which falls screaming, leaving a shower of dark red blood in the lava, like a cursed offering.
It swings again, leaping from wall to wall...
...and falls back to the ground. A few metres away from me.
I freeze.
Just for a second.
Then I say out loud:
"Is this a joke?"