(Alt Title: Meanwhile, In the Universe That's Lowkey Panicking)
Somewhere, between apocalypse and coffee break...
Thanatos Primum's core bunker was not designed for existential panic.It was designed for secrets, cigars, and the occasional celestial meltdown.
Screens exploded.Sigils bled ink.A technician got possessed by binary code and started singing the Fibonacci sequence in reverse.
General Illyria—veteran of 19 dimensional wars and 2 divorces—stared at the pulse map.
"That's not a fragment," she said."That's not even a reaction.""That's... a question."
They all stared.
Not because they understood.But because something in the universe just blinked.And for the first time in eons… the blink blinked back.
Elsewhere. The Vatican. Probably cursed.
Lucifer lit a cigarette with divine fire stolen from a bishop's funeral.
Amenadiel hovered above a fractal vortex that was melting geometry.
"This isn't Renji," Amenadiel whispered.
Lucifer snorted.
"Of course not. Renji's the idiot carrying the problem.This? This is the problem asking if we'd like fries with our damnation."
Portals trembled.Reality hiccuped.
A crack formed in the sky—made of sound and regret.
Meanwhile... Inside.
Somewhere deep in not-space, not-time, inside the not-consciousness of Renji:
Silence.
Then—
"Seven seals shattered.""He touched it.""He didn't die.""He doesn't remember."
(soft laughter)
"Perfect."
Something old smiles in the dark.Not out of malice.Just... anticipation.
Outside again. Renji's body. Still unconscious. Still inconvenient.
Floating.Breathing, barely.Twitching, like a cosmic bug zapper.
The rune on his arm pulses once—like a second heartbeat.The Ojo in his chest flickers, weak but awake.
A sheep stands beside him.Pink.Judging.
It sighs.
"You had one job, idiot."
Final line:
Renji stirs.Eyes flutter.And for a split second, before falling back into sleep, he whispers:
"That voice…"