-
The impact struck like a freight train made of plasma. The platform shattered. The crowd screamed. Chunks of scorched cloudstone rained down as the light filled every inch of the city square.
Then—silence.
Until—
Crunch.
Kain stepped out of the smoke, dragging one foot slightly, hoodie now half-shredded, hair even more fried than before.
His voice was hoarse.
"Okay. That one kinda sucked."
A few hundred million volt shock kind of sucked.
Enel's face twisted. The cocky calm had cracked. He descended slowly, no longer playing the aloof god.
"You are not human, you can't be." he said.
Kain gave him a deadpan look. "If I'm a sea slug, I want a refund."
A flicker of confusion crossed Enel's face.
Kain didn't wait for him to figure it out. His legs moved on instinct now. Garp training reflexes, muscle memory that ignored pain.
He crouched low, pushed off with a Soru-Nap dash, and launched himself into the air—fist cocked back, Haki flowing like ink up his arm.
"Lazy Dragon's Fist," he muttered under his breath. "Sleep now, spark plug."
With his thunder thunder fruit, Enel could react at millions of times faster than a normal Marine officer. He could move at over 200,000 miles per second. His Mantra warned him off the attack and yet, even with all these advantages, he couldn't react fast enough. Almost as if he was immobilized in place by an invisible force.
Thus, Kain's Lazy fist connected with Enel's face in a solid, crunching blow that rang out with a 'Thawk!!'
It was a bitch slap/a back hand/a one-shot/ a get your shit together and teleport out my face fore I smack you to yesterday booyy, kind of punch.
And it echoed. Loud enough that everyone flinched in pain.
As for Enel, The god tumbled backward through the air like a rag doll, lightning skittering off him in wild, uncontrolled arcs.
He crashed into a far spire, breaking through layers of cloudstone before vanishing in the dense jungle of the Upper Yard, a few miles away.
The square was silent again.
Then someone exhaled.
Then a murmur.
Then cheering. Shouting. Stomping. The crowd went wild.
[Aura farming detected +100 BSP]
[Aura farming detected +100 BSP]
[Aura farming detected +100 BSP]
[Aura farming detected +100 BSP]
[Aura farming detected +100 BSP]
Kain didn't raise his hands. Didn't smile at the BSP coming in. He just turned, dragged his tired feet across what was left of the platform, and sat down cross-legged right where the execution post used to be.
He looked up at the sky.
"System," he whispered.
[System Notification: Boss Battle Complete!]
- Name: Enel, Sky God of Skypiea
- Result: Knocked the smug off his face.
- Reward: 20,000 BSP
- Bonus Reward: Skypiean Citizenship
+ Divine Amulet (negates lightning attacks once per day)
"Put it all in the nap fund," Kain muttered.
A short time later, Gan Fall reappeared, hovering in on his sky steed, looking half-impressed and half-stressed.
He stared at the spot where Enel had been yeeted away and scratched his cheek, turning to regard Kain, who was mumbling to himself, saying, "...dude seriously needs to cool it..."
The Skypieans didn't cheer. Not yet. Most of them were still crouched behind things, peeking out like cats from under furniture.
Gan Fall was the first to approach Kain, boots crunching against the broken edge of the platform. His face was cautious—like someone walking up to a sleeping lion.
"You… defeated him," Gan Fall said, more to himself than to Kain.
Kain blinked, then looked over.
"Huh? Oh. Yeah, he kinda exploded away." He paused. "He's not dead, by the way. He'll probably sulk in the clouds for a while and come back screaming next week. Or next year...depends on how much he can take."
Kain left out the fact that his Lazy Punch was normally not so...devastating. The ability seemed to have evolved somehow without the System notifying him. Then again, the less notifications that popped up, the better.
Gan Fall tried to form a response, failed, then tried again. "You took a direct lightning strike. And then that. Who… what are you?"
Kain gave a one-shouldered shrug. "Just a guy who's really good at not trying."
Gan Fall raised an eyebrow. "Not trying?"
"Exactly. It's an art form."
Another pause.
Gan Fall glanced at the broken clouds, then back at Kain. "What… do we do now?"
Kain stretched, joints popping as he rolled his neck. "First step: don't rebuild the platform. It was ugly and I've seen better."
The Execution platform in Loguetown was simply...majestic indeed. Fit for the unaliving of the king of Pirates, a popular tourist destination too.
"Second step: maybe take the day off."
Gan Fall gave a small, bewildered chuckle. "That's… actually not a bad idea."
Kain pointed lazily toward a nearby tree. "That spot has good shade. If you're not taking me back to prison, I'm claiming it."
He started walking off without another word. The crowd watched him go—not with fear, or awe—but confusion. Confusion mixed with something harder to define. Something like curiosity. Or maybe respect.
The man had beaten a god.
With a lazy punch.