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The sky cracked with thunder. Waves slammed against twin ships locked in chaotic battle on the Grand Line—pirates screaming, blades clashing, cannons firing without rhythm. It was the usual kind of disaster you'd expect out here. Nothing unusual.
Until something fell from the sky.
A shadow shot down like a meteor, slicing through cloud and chaos before—
SPLASH.
Water exploded between the ships, drawing everyone's attention. Pirates on both decks froze, mid-brawl, blinking at the disturbance like they'd just witnessed God dropping his keys into the ocean.
Seconds ticked by.
Then, hands gripped the railing of the Bloody Maw, and a drenched figure heaved himself up from the sea with all the enthusiasm of a man being forced to clock in early.
His hoodie/coat—Marine-issue—clung to him like seaweed. Hair matted to his face. Boots leaking water. He coughed up what sounded like half the Grand Line and groaned.
Kain.
He stood, dripping. Stared at the confused pirates. Then looked up at the sky with a squint like it owed him answers.
"…Did I just fall from Skypiea?" he muttered, voice rough.
Nobody answered. Just more staring. One pirate even paused mid-swing, sword halfway through someone's belt.
A big guy with a cutlass and a nasty nose scar took the lead. "Oi! Who the hell are you supposed to be?!"
Kain didn't respond right away. He was busy wringing out his sleeves with all the urgency of someone airing laundry.
Finally: "Nobody important. Don't mind me."
He turned, eyeing the ocean like he was already mentally mapping the swim to the nearest quiet island.
Then it happened.
[System Notification: New Mission Available!]
Kain stopped in his tracks. His head tilted back an inch. He sighed like a man hearing an alarm after two minutes of sleep.
"Please no, I just got back." he muttered.
The system, chipper as always:
[Mission: Rescue the Hostages!]
-Objective: Save the abducted civilians held captive in the lower deck of the pirate ship Bloody Maw.
-Reward: 5,000 BSP and a Free Nap Pass (20 uses).
-Failure Penalty: You will suffer Zoro's directional disability for one week.
Kain blinked.
Then said, very flatly: "…Zoro's what?"
[Imagine getting lost on your way to the bedroom. For seven days.]
A visible shiver ran down his spine.
"That's cruel."
His entire vibe shifted—still lazy, but now dangerously so. He turned back toward the confused pirates and cracked his knuckles.
"Okay. Change of plans," he said. "Which one of you dumbasses is holding hostages?"
The nose-scar guy barked out a laugh. "You think you can just waltz in and—"
He didn't finish.
Kain's fist rocketed forward—not fast, but dense with irritation—and met the pirate's jaw. The man shot off the ship like a cannonball, skipped three times across the sea, then vanished beneath the waves.
Silence.
Utter, awkward silence.
Kain exhaled. "I'll take that as a yes."
The pirates did not laugh this time.
One punch. That's all it took. Their loudest guy—gone. Launched into the ocean like yesterday's trash. Nobody even saw Kain pull back.
Now, the entire crew on the Bloody Maw stood frozen, weapons half-raised, second-guessing every life choice that brought them to this moment.
Kain just stood there, soaked and visibly annoyed. His fists dropped to his sides like they were too heavy to bother with.
"Alright," he said, voice dry, "I don't really want to be here, and I definitely don't want to be doing this. But apparently, unless I feel like spending a week getting lost on my way to the bathroom, I have to rescue some hostages."
No one moved.
Kain looked around, then scratched the back of his head. "Look, you can all jump into the ocean right now and save us a lot of time."
Still no takers.
"...Fine."
He took a step forward.
That was enough. One guy screamed and charged with a cutlass, apparently thinking momentum could overcome common sense.
Bad bet.
Kain flicked his finger.
Just one.
It connected with the pirate's forehead. A burst of invisible force rippled out—**Haki-infused laziness**, like being hit with a small truck made of compressed boredom.
The pirate folded instantly and slid across the deck, unconscious before he landed.
More hesitation. Some pirates glanced at each other, hoping someone else would make the next mistake.
Kain gave them a lazy wave. "Come on then. Let's get this over with."
They came at him together this time—maybe half a dozen, armed to the teeth. It didn't matter.
Kain moved through them like fog through a forest. Every step was loose, every dodge barely an effort. He didn't counter so much as… exist in their way. Elbows, flicks, a shoulder bump here, a casual backhand there—none of it fast, all of it devastating.
A pair tried flanking him.
Kain yawned, then whispered: "Nap Dash."
He vanished.
Reappeared ten feet away—hands in his pockets, looking vaguely disappointed.
The two pirates collided where he used to be and collapsed in a heap.
Someone tried to shoot him from the crow's nest. Kain glanced up. "Tch."
He raised one finger and yawned.
A soft, slow yawn.
Lazy Dragon's Roar.
The air rippled like jelly. A wave of force surged upward in a lazy spiral and gently blew the crow's nest to splinters. The gunner tumbled out with a terrified yelp and landed in a nearby net, tangled and panicked but alive.
Kain frowned. "I didn't even try that time."
Within minutes, the deck was empty—pirates either unconscious, too injured to fight, or jumping into the sea like it was the safer option. Kain stretched his neck, cracking it to the side with a long, satisfied sigh.
"Pirates today. No stamina."
He turned toward the hatch leading below deck and stared at it for a second, then groaned like it physically hurt him to walk down stairs.
"Why can't anyone ever keep their hostages on the main floor?"
With a muttered "Nap Dash," he vanished again.