Ethan stared blankly at the floating shrine now embedded in the living room wall.
"Okay, quick recap," he muttered. "Yesterday, my bedroom was invaded by glitch-goddesses, one of them tried to install herself as a girlfriend via patch notes, and now… we have a literal gacha machine where the TV used to be."
Subject M sipped synthetic tea, eyeing the shrine with mild disdain. "It's divine architecture. Probably summoned when Bytea integrated her patch interface into your soul."
Null hovered above, poking the shrine with a stick. "This is Glitch-Tier Gacha. It runs on affection points, reality stability, and… weirdly enough, body pillows."
A banner unfurled from the top of the shrine.
✨[ LIMITED EVENT: Divine Harem Pull – 5-Star Waifus Only! ]✨🔥[ Rate-Up Characters: Smugnette, Bytea, Unnamed Tsundere Death Goddess, MILF Valkyrie Version ]🔥
Ethan blinked. "That's... way too specific."
Luna cracked her knuckles. "There's only one way to stop this madness." She inserted a shiny crystal labeled Hope Fragment into the slot and pulled the lever.
A dazzling beam shot up—and out popped a goddess wrapped in nothing but floating caution tape and a clipboard.
"HELLO MORTALS. I AM PATCHA, GODDESS OF CONSENT AND TECHNICALITIES."
Everyone fell silent.
Patcha blinked, checked her clipboard, then leaned toward Ethan. "You've accidentally subscribed to the Supreme Compatibility Test. Your emotional firmware is now under divine beta-testing."
Ayaka squinted. "What kind of compatibility test?"
Patcha pulled down a holographic chart.
Compatibility Trial Rules:
Survive five divine dates.
Do not cry.
Do not get seduced more than once per goddess.
Do not die.
"...Those last two seem to contradict each other," Ethan said.
Patcha winked. "That's part of the trial."
Smugnette returned, flopping onto the couch. "Have you summoned me again, peasant host? Good. I've prepared a tsundere script for our beach episode date. You're not allowed to look at me... but also not allowed not to look."
Ayaka exploded. "NO BEACH EPISODES DURING ARMAGEDDON!"
Meanwhile, Subject M stood motionless, arms crossed. "This shrine shouldn't exist. Someone—or something—is rewriting the system's prime directive. These goddesses aren't just bugs. They're bait."
Ethan raised an eyebrow. "Bait for what?"
The shrine vibrated. Lights dimmed. A new message scrawled across the screen in dripping code:
[ FINAL GODDESS UNLOCKING: SYSTEM MOTHER – DO NOT SUMMON ]
Luna groaned. "Of course the one you're not supposed to summon is the hottest."
Patcha grabbed Ethan's wrist. "You can't survive Mother. She was the original waifu protocol. She invented the genre."
Bytea materialized again, her eyes wide. "No one has rolled Mother since the Beta Wars. She devoured two harems and a small planet."
Smugnette snorted. "Sounds like my kind of queen."
Ayaka stormed toward the shrine. "We are NOT summoning her!"
But it was too late.
Ethan, curious and sleep-deprived, had already tapped the forbidden banner.
A void opened.
Out stepped a figure in shadow, heels clicking, presence warping the very floor. She had glowing eyes, absurd curves, a motherly smirk—and she was holding a baby bottle filled with red code.
"Who dares summon me," she purred, "during my nap time?"
Patcha screamed. "EVERYONE RUN."
The chapter ends with Ethan whispering to himself: "This is either the best or worst harem arc ever."